Not doing what I need to = automatic pain?

[Freedom]

I've noticed if I do something other than what I believe (subconciously) is a higher priority, my low back pain has been kicking in more lately. It has done this for a while but it's been worse lately (I feel like I have a lot on my plate and worried about getting things done, and peoples expectations and my future and that things will not be ok if I don't get everything done). For example, I may need to work on a paper for grad school, and I decide to get distracted by some preparation for an upcoming gig (I get obsessive about this and making sure I have all the right music for the event), then I very quickly will get bad pain/tightness in my lower back. In some senses I almost feel like I deserve it like it's a warning sign that I'm doing the wrong thing. How should I be interpreting this scenario?

To clarify, things not being ok to mean would mean:
Not finishing a problem when I think my superior in my internship would want it done by, therefore reflecting on how well I will do in my future career
Not being prepared enough for a gig, therefore not making enough money to move to a new city
Friends being upset with my about not putting in enough time towards a task
Family upset I'm not able to complete a task for them on time (decided to help to do some car reearch/haggling for family in houston whose stuff flooded)

 

[Ines]

I don't know if there is another answer except that you are in this stage where you are observing your personality in action and that's a good thing. You are witnessing yourself stress over people pleasing and worrying about the future when you are only doing the best you can. Just keep observing yourself and remember that you can only live in the now. Worry about the past and future really does us no good. As long as you are doing your best you are setting yourself up for a great future. So why worry?
Easier said than done, I know but little by little you will see improvements and every time you experience your worrisome personality causing you pain and make that connection it seems to get better and better with time.