Not able to be indifferent

[Sissiliz]

Hi everyone!!
Looking for some advice here. What I am really struggling with is being indifferent to the pain. I read posts, articles, watched videos about it but I keep measuring my pain and checking how it is and - although I try to deny it - being dependent from it. At the very beginning of my work I took some decisions like getting rid of sitting cushions, resuming gym, sitting when working, stopping all phisycal therapy, despite being in pain and that actually worked in reducing the pain noticeably! As my initial enthusiasm wore off, the pain has come back to its standards and even if I am proud and happy of all the things I am now doing that I had stopped doing, and I am doing the work (I am midway of the structured program and I am reading Journaling and meditating), me checking and measuring the pain has been feeding the pain.
How do I come out of the cycle? Any practical trick or advise will be so appreciated!

 

[Cactusflower]

I feel you! It’s not easy.
Engaging in something so distracting you forget about the pain for even a few minutes is a start. Don’t forget to reward yourself after noticing.. “i did it, i can totally do more of this!!”
Somatic tracking also teaches you to be in the moment with sensations. You don’t ignore them, you notice them more lightly as you learn to pay attention to several body sensations at once. Its less about you cognitively thinking about it and more about your nervous system feeling it. You have to reduce fear (conscious or not) before indifference. I understand this but putting into play is a huge challenge for me right now.
Some people read a TMS book - feel it answers all their questions and they loose fear and healing seems more swift. Others of us who fear pain and dealing with our hidden sides need to be ok with taking time to lower our nervous system response to help fade hyper-vigilance and stop putting more stress on ourselves.
Remember once your brain realizes you are on to its attempts to help you repress what you are now trying to feel the more it may feel threats and want to protect you from those feelings. I think I am at this stage. Way stronger symptoms, fear, hard to be indifferent, increased muscle tension.. don’t give up, and add in pleasureful distractions when you can to give that little bit of time to practice indifference. Why not start by trying for one minute. One minute per day, see what happens!

 

[Sissiliz]

Hi Cactusflower
Thank you! You are right, I need to reduce fear first and probably the rest will come without "trying" so hard... I will try as you say with some tiny bit of indifference each day and with somatics. Still I think I haven't mastered somatics.. Do you have any guided exercise on that that I can try? Thanks again

 

[Cactusflower]

There are several types of Somatic Tracking. #1 do this with the mindset that you are not broken, people who experience TMS feel better with time.

You can sit or lay down. You can keep your eyes open or close them.


Alan Gordon real time Somatic Tracking:

Pain PT Somatic Tracking exercise:

Patti Norris:

Les Aria Pendulation exercise:

Shin Shin Chang: Pendulation

There are a few more posts of “somatic tracking” on youtube but the rest are not true to the idea that Alan Gordon uses.

The free app Insight Timer also has a few nice Somatic Tracking and other similar exercises by a man named Danny Morris. Easy to find after you download the app.

Here are written instructions: https://www.bch.org/documents/content/Somatic-Tracking-Exercise.pdf

Long, slow breathing is also helpful. You can also find this on Insight Timer

 

[Sissiliz]

I don't know how to thank you!! I had seen the video with Alan Gordon but I didn't know the other videos. And I already have Insight timer and I use it to meditate but there are so many resources that if you don't have a precise indication you may get a bit lost! I will look for Danny Morris now. Thanks thanks thanks!