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Normal part of recovery or symptom imperative?

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by jamejamesjames1, Aug 23, 2020.

  1. jamejamesjames1

    jamejamesjames1 Peer Supporter

    I'm sure I am overthinking this but...

    For much of the last year or two I feel like I've been in fight or flight most of the time. I'm always analyzing, tracking, worrying about symtpoms, trying to get them to go away, etc. All the stuff you aren't supposed to do. Even when feeling better I'm always go go go and thinking non stop and never resting.

    Anyway a few days ago I had enough and just said screw it. This weekend I've had a fair amount of pain free times and I thought I would be thrilled.

    Instead I've been incredibly... Tired? Apathetic? It hasn't been bad... But I just thought I'd feel this zest for life and really enjoy pain free breaks. Instead I'm just sorta sitting around, zoning out, not doing or thinking much or anything.

    Is this a normal feeling after being addicted to fight or flight? Should I just enjoy the change of pace for as long as it lasts? Im just afraid that my tms has shifted to depression or fatigue or something... But maybe my body is just trying to recharge and I shouldn't overthink.
  2. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes, this can certainly be normal for people and many of us have experienced it at varying degrees. It can be a sign that you're burned out from constant fight-or-flight mode (and I suspect that many of us who have been diagnosed with depression at some point can identify this as one of its primary causes). It can also be an indicator of the symptom imperative.

    Please don't sweat it too much; otherwise, it tends to overstay its welcome. For me, feeling burned out after sympathetic overdrive comes in the form of straight up boredom and feeling I cannot pay attention to or focus on anything. What distracts you and takes your mind off it? Personally, something as simple as reading the first few sentences of an article on a topic I usually enjoy might do the trick, even if I'm initially resistant to this activity. I can go from feeling like nothing in life is interesting to exploring axiomatic systems in an old math book and BAM, before you know it my apathy completely dissipates.

    It's also helpful to continue finding things that relax you. But don't get too hyper focused on "healing" because that can delay the process. Take a deep breath and remember that you are okay today. You are not damaged and you will overcome this; your pain-free moments are proof of this.

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