Day 4 nocebos, oh the nocebos

Before I knew the TMS concept, I had TMS-presumed symptom on my back and knees.
I took MRIs for them twice and there were no abnormalities at all. The doctors told me "There's no reason you feel such pain." and some of them even gave me a "malingering... tsk tsk" look on me. I was a little offended then, but anyway I felt relieved and started ignoring the pains because the diagnosis confirmed me I had no issue. The pains thereby subsided over time (it came back time to time since I didn't cure the root cause--emotion).

However, recently when I had my pain in my healthy ankle, my doc told me "nothing serious, but you seem to have some inflammation, seeing the level of your pain." I got steroid shot, it was only effective for 3 days. The pain came back, and I was trapped with bigger fear. I was only able to feel less pain after the ultrasound test showed nothing wrong.

Then I read Healing Back Pain, and the pain subsided significantly. I revisited the doc last week for a check-up with my injured foot and asked him to check my TMS foot (healthy one), too, just to be re-confirmed with its healthiness and get rid of the left-over pain.

He told me it's not bad except there's some clicking sound "on the cartilage." He said the sound itself doesn't mean anything, "but just some instability maybe." Even though his conclusion was "no significant issue," my mind caught up with the negative words and I became scared again with any possible issue I might have in the future. Oh here comes my anxiety again... I acknowledged the anxiety and was afraid if the TMS would come back.

OH Yes it did. I had to calm myself down and persuade myself there is no issue with my feet (any of them!) over and over again until I became indifferent with any sensation around my feet. It worked because I knew it's TMS for 99.9%. I dealt with the 0.01% anxiety/fear with some logical thinking (e.g. 'Even people with arthritis live without much pain. Why should I be scared beforehand?' or 'my other feet makes same clicking sound but the doc didn't tell me about that. He was just referring to me talking about clicking because that's the seeming reason I asked him for the additional check-up')

The symptom imperative is rearing its head on my butts, knees, and hips, but I'm trying hard not to be distracted by nocebos (I'm not googling or going to see a doc anymore). I know I still need to harden my fragile mind, so it's essential for me not to hear any nocebos in the first place. There's still some lingering anxiety if I'm missing a significant issue by not going to see a doctor though... but I'm afraid if I get more TMS by hearing nocebos

 

Hi, Seraphina. I'm glad you have decided not to go to Doctor Google or real doctors for more tests.
They already show your pain is not structural. So don't let fear grab you. Keep it away with positive thinking
and mantras that you are going to heal and quickly.

The only significant issue you are missing is a total 100 percent belief that your pain is from TMS
repressed emotions and/or a perfectionist and goodist personality. Keep working on that and you will heal.
It's what we all had to go through and it worked for us. I'm sure it will work for you.

Have a great weekend and enjoy it.