When I look in the Mirror I see someone strong and happy. A positive person with goals and a bright future full of hope and lots of dreams. I also see... 1) a person that has been through many battles and plenty of pain, 2) a little boy that once thought most people we're nice and really had huge hearts just to be let down, 3) my illusion took and stomped as if I was just another person that didn't exist. 4) My hurt developing into depression. 5) the depression worsening as I try to figure out was anyone for real, did most people actually not care about the happiness in another person's heart, could it be that most of us are just looking out for number 1. Is that truth? Is that the way I'm supposed to be even if I know deep in my heart, in my soul that's not me. Is life really about finding out that all I thought once was true was all just a wish, a hope, something only I could feel and everyone else just didn't get it. All the time I took to learn the good book, all the time I took to perfect and train that inner child and ease him, all the time I calmed the inner critic and soothed the inner bully -- was all that time only for me and no one else cause no one wanted to listen to me? The answer came to me over the years, the answer is and always will be it's all in how I perceive my illusions. If I wish to be that light on top of the hill then I can be that light and I will be able to help all of my friends and be anything I want to be, I can never doubt that. The truth is my perceptions have hurt me, set me into stages of depression and made me doubt my own calling. welcome everyone to the life of every person I have ever met. I don't mean to impose my perceptions on anyone but if you look close you will remember when you too had a goal or a wish, a dream and someone came along and killed it, smashed it, made it nothing to have hope for again. The thing I want to express is we are the ones holding the inner smile, we have the candle lit alive and kickin on the inside of us. It's always been ours, we just gave it away when we got discouraged and hurt by others that really knew nothing of what we were trying to accomplish and then we let them take our smile, we let them take our happiness and our glow -- see we have the power to be strong and do all that we were called to do if we can just grab ahold of the wisdom that we hold the key to the happiness and joy in our life. It's not the man that said you'd never amount to anything, it's not the girl that told you you were ugly, it's not even the teacher that told you you'd never amount to anything because in the end when the lights go out and the day has spread its light, there's that time at night when we have to lie there in bed and discover another night with the pain , the false beliefs, the doubts and despair or we can smile and choose to bring back our goals to be that person writing the perfect story for all to have hope by. Your story might be your song or your painting, it might be your child's smile or a brothers I love you, I'm not sure -- the important thing is if we don't latch back onto that dream, that hope, that goal then we will always have that candle unlit in the dark wondering what if -- nothing in life is worth dieing on the inside while we're still alive. Rejoice my friends and make your life the best you can and do it starting today. Let the hurt and depression, the let downs and the nay sayers have their lies and pain back. Take your love and your hope and develop yourself into all that you ever wish to be. This will give you back all the pizzazz you ever needed to live your best life now. Bless You All.