c90danwaiel
Peer Supporter
I no longer have any doubt about TMS. I posted in another part of this forum about having an experience where I was able to shift the pain away from my pelvis to my feet. Since then, it's been moving everywhere. I've felt the burning pain not only in my feet and pelvic area, but in my calves, my stomach, chest, inner arms - it's been moving all over.
The pain has been worse overall, I'd say, since finding out about TMS but I'm much better at coping with it. I've done a good job at not focusing on the pain. Before, it'd literally occupy by thoughts 80% of the time. Today, I only thought about it maybe 30% of the time. I wonder if I'm experiencing an extinction burst. I'm powering through though, and trying my best to stick to outcome independence.
I also had some fairly deep realizations that other day. I'll admit, I'd been fairly skeptical until now about the repressed emotion bit. But I may have made a breakthrough on that point.
Before my pain started - nearly four months ago - I did have quite a bit of inner rage, dating back to about four years prior. It was a really bad situation with work. The rage really had built up in me, and I've forgotten how often I thought about it, even just earlier this year, before my pain came along and took my focus away. I'd go on a bike ride, and I'd think about how I felt wronged and mistreated. I'd walk on the treadmill, and I'd think about it. I'd have a random thoughts throughout the day about that period in my life, and mutter things under my breath, almost automatically.
I've also realized, I've actually had TMS for a very long time. There was a situation when I was younger that lasted a few months, but it really began in earnest about that damaging experience with work for years ago.
I started developing a lot of various health 'issues' during this time: strange intestinal issues that lasted months, tendonitis, an ulcer. Strangely, I seem to have gaps in my journaling at the time I had these issues: I'd given up my outlet and was running full blast at work.
Before my pelvic pain - currently my primary symptom - I developed knee pain on my cycling - removing one of my major outlets to get out, do something I enjoyed, and think about my emotions and my past. Hoping to take that up again once the weather improves, or find some other source of exercise to help vent.
The pain has been worse overall, I'd say, since finding out about TMS but I'm much better at coping with it. I've done a good job at not focusing on the pain. Before, it'd literally occupy by thoughts 80% of the time. Today, I only thought about it maybe 30% of the time. I wonder if I'm experiencing an extinction burst. I'm powering through though, and trying my best to stick to outcome independence.
I also had some fairly deep realizations that other day. I'll admit, I'd been fairly skeptical until now about the repressed emotion bit. But I may have made a breakthrough on that point.
Before my pain started - nearly four months ago - I did have quite a bit of inner rage, dating back to about four years prior. It was a really bad situation with work. The rage really had built up in me, and I've forgotten how often I thought about it, even just earlier this year, before my pain came along and took my focus away. I'd go on a bike ride, and I'd think about how I felt wronged and mistreated. I'd walk on the treadmill, and I'd think about it. I'd have a random thoughts throughout the day about that period in my life, and mutter things under my breath, almost automatically.
I've also realized, I've actually had TMS for a very long time. There was a situation when I was younger that lasted a few months, but it really began in earnest about that damaging experience with work for years ago.
I started developing a lot of various health 'issues' during this time: strange intestinal issues that lasted months, tendonitis, an ulcer. Strangely, I seem to have gaps in my journaling at the time I had these issues: I'd given up my outlet and was running full blast at work.
Before my pelvic pain - currently my primary symptom - I developed knee pain on my cycling - removing one of my major outlets to get out, do something I enjoyed, and think about my emotions and my past. Hoping to take that up again once the weather improves, or find some other source of exercise to help vent.
