Day 11 no exercise for over a month

[Fabi]

Hi
Actually no exercise and lots of symptoms and emotional pain at the same time.
Anger, resentment and l can't let go.
It seems incredible how much your life can change in 45 days.
Today going for groceries on my own is not possible. I try to walk around the house and get up often. Sometimes l just sleep. I am very sad.
Today's question made me realize how far l have fallen into despair and inability to differentiate things. I believe the journaling and bringing past events made everything more alive. I wish l could go over everything quickly, but that's not how the soul works, l hope my body gets the message sooner.
I find myself tightening muscles unecesarely often. I try to be mindful of it, and l do it very often. So far, it works when l can acknowledge it and not judge.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

So far, it works when l can acknowledge it and not judge.

Hi Fabi,
You're having a hard time, but what a clear post, and a clear focus on what is important in your SEP work. The quote above is a wonderful aim to hold all of your experience right now. You didn't do this to yourself. It is just happening, and it is hard. And you are continuing to use the most skillful means at your disposal. BRAVO.
Andy B

 

[Gigi]

It's so hard to trudge through all the feelings, Fabi.
There are some days when all I can do is literally put one foot in front of the other. When some day ,"one day at a time" I sometimes am reduced to "one picosecond at a time."
This too shall pass. But in the meantime, prayers to you.

 

[Fabi]

Gigi,
It sounds like you can relate to my experience and l m sorry to hear about your difficulties. Thank you for being so brave! It gives me some company, and that matters to me. Thank you!