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Nighttime Irritability, Exhaustion, and Eye Strain and Sound Sensitivity

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Peer Supporter
Note: Sorry, I should've posted this in the Support Subforum, but I can't move it now.

Lately, I've been getting really irritable and tense along with eye strain, sound sensitivity, and exhaustion at night. This starts around 11 pm, so then I go to bed even though I'm tense and irritable, thinking that maybe I'm just tired and I'll feel better if I go to bed and try to relax. But then, I sleep uneasy. My partner stays up late on his computer and I end up waking up in the middle of the night with my eyes painful and burning and extremely tense and irritable, feeling like I need to scream, feeling helpless and frustrated and out of control. I end up staying up until I'm able to calm down.

This had been going on for a few days. Finally, today, I was feeling tense, frustrated, and irritable in the middle of the day. I decided to try to talk to my partner about it and it ended up with him getting upset and leaving the room and my feelings of frustration getting worse. I couldn't hold it in anymore and started screaming then I took a chair and started slamming it against the floor. This finally got me to calm down and my body started shaking.

I'm so confused. What am I supposed to do about this? It gets to the point where certain things trigger me -- things like seeing my partner, having him in the same room as me, or simply being in the room where I work and sleep stresses me out (and feels claustrophobic).

I'm confused if eye strain is TMS or not, too. Is getting eye strain normal?

I really appreciate any help I can get on this.
 
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Sounds like you have a lot of anger to get out. It's good that it is surfacing, although that may be hard to believe. It may be more beneficial when you are really mad at someone to go to a room and yell in a pillow, or you won't have any chairs left. As far as getting up at night goes, I don't think there is anything wrong with getting up and journaling and/or mediating. It could easily turn into a special time for you. I think you need to also find something to sooth yourself. Sounds like you are frayed at the edges. When I am really freaked out I read Sarno's daily reminders. There is also the "soften sooth and allow" mediation which is always mentioned on the forum. And I just had a ginger snap dipped in milk. Yummy and soothing all at the same time.

As far as the eyes go, I was diagnosed with early stages of cataracts this year, I am 49. I have learned some soothing things to do for my eyes. They get so forgotten about. I think eye problems are stress related. Dr. William H. Bates wrote some books around the early 1900's. He is the go to guy for the psychology of the eyes. I was just listening to Meir Schneider (cd's) and he trains using the Bates method. He said most people get far sighted in the 40's and 50's because that is when most divorces happen, and people aren't seeing very far ahead. There are lots of video's on youtube if you search for "Bates Method eye exercises."
 
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Thanks, Peggy, I'll have to try out your suggestions. The chair was made of metal so it didn't break :) It is a scary experience for me, so it's reassuring for me to hear someone say that it's okay. It's something that's been going on with me for years, and I just don't know why it keeps happening or if it's something that's wrong about my life that I need to fix. I do think it could just be from a worn-out body.
 
I doubt your body is as worn out as you think it is. We all feel a little broken sometimes, and greatly broken at other times. I often hear myself saying fake it until you make it. Some day you will feel like you made it. Time will tell.

It sounds like you are worried about your situation. If you can reduce that to just one anxiety, like the one that naturally come up that is half the battle. Skip being worried that you get angry. You can be constructive in dealing with your anger. Releasing rage endlessly can be very wearing. I think balance is required. Releasing rage, journaling and acknowledging your feelings and soothing. Have you tried the structured education program?
 
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I used to take out my anger on furniture. I did a good job bashing the side of my stove with a hammer years ago.
I always felt good after taking out my anger on something (not someone).

At work in an office, when I had to control my anger, I went to my desk, sat down, took out a brand new pencil,
and snapped it in half. It was a cheap way to get rid of my anger.

Now I find I can release my anger by meditation, deep breathing, and laughing. I laugh at myself for being so angry
about what usually turns out to be not very important.
 
Peggy, I have tried the structured educational program, but ended up quitting at some point. I struggle with motivation. I'm oddly overly-disciplined and under-disciplined at the same time. I don't know if other people struggle with the structured educational program or if it's just me. Unfortunately, I do try to journal and acknowledge my feelings, but that just makes me feel more frustrated and the tension builds up.

Walt, your stories about getting out you anger on your furniture makes me feel better about my anger. It's good to not feel alone in that. I'll have to remember to try laughing and meditation if this thing happens again. The problem is that I usually can't think clearly enough when it comes on to remember to do the right things that I need to do.
 
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