These past 7 months have been the most trying by far of my adult life. After a couple of vigorous workouts on the treadmill and bicycle earlier this year, I developed painful urinary spasms. I medical work up was negative, but the spasms persisted and generalized to the point where I was experiencing burning and numbness on my penis and perineum each day. These pains were much worse when I sat down. I underwent countless pelvic PT treatments, nerve blocks, etc to no avail. Eventually, the pain got so bad that I had no choice but to spend a hellish three weeks not sitting at all. After that I believe the (pudendal) nerve irritation due to my biking/exercising injury improved, but the pains did not go away. I fell into an anxious depression (the first of my adult life) and was started on multiple antidepressants, but these did no good at all.
An odd fact about these past 7 months is that I have had an almost constant sense of dread and profound vulnerability which I brings me back to how I felt as a young child when my parents were divorcing. It's as if I am a 9 year old child walking around in a fifty plus year old man's body. I am quite convinced that my pelvic pain symptoms are TMS but that intellectual realization as not really changed my pain. I have read about the idea of repressed traumatic memories being held in the body. These memories can manifest in somatic symptoms if an injury to a body part stirs up the long repressed traumatic experience.
Anyway, after spending most of my life as a highly capable, happy, vigorous man, I feel like I've been turned into a puddle. My wife and kids have been enormously understanding and supportive, but they don't know what to do w/ me. Meanwhile, my business has gone downhill as I'm barely able to muster the energy or focus to give my clients the service they are accustomed to.
My question is this: is it possible to heal from trauma if one is not even sure what that is? How do I go about becoming once the again the competent, confident man I was for most of my life. I've been in a pretty bad space lately and would appreciate any suggestions any of you wonderful people could provide
An odd fact about these past 7 months is that I have had an almost constant sense of dread and profound vulnerability which I brings me back to how I felt as a young child when my parents were divorcing. It's as if I am a 9 year old child walking around in a fifty plus year old man's body. I am quite convinced that my pelvic pain symptoms are TMS but that intellectual realization as not really changed my pain. I have read about the idea of repressed traumatic memories being held in the body. These memories can manifest in somatic symptoms if an injury to a body part stirs up the long repressed traumatic experience.
Anyway, after spending most of my life as a highly capable, happy, vigorous man, I feel like I've been turned into a puddle. My wife and kids have been enormously understanding and supportive, but they don't know what to do w/ me. Meanwhile, my business has gone downhill as I'm barely able to muster the energy or focus to give my clients the service they are accustomed to.
My question is this: is it possible to heal from trauma if one is not even sure what that is? How do I go about becoming once the again the competent, confident man I was for most of my life. I've been in a pretty bad space lately and would appreciate any suggestions any of you wonderful people could provide
But I swear, guys, it won't be too much longer before back pain is no longer the #1 TMS symptoms - because mainstream medicine is starting to focus more and more on non-interventional treatments for back pain. We're seeing more alternatives all the time, and pelvic pain is the new up-and-comer. You know it's true.