Newbie here need some advice on chronic sciatica from supposed bulging discs

Hi everyone,

I recently discovered Dr Sarno and TMS this year and have been somewhat using his ideas trying to solve my chronic sciatica from a supposed herniated disc back in July 2018.

I first supposedly injured my lower back back in early 2013 deadlifting in the gym and an MRI showed a small bulging L5-S1 disc slightly impinging on the right sciatic S1 nerve and the doctor said that was the cause of my sciatica down my right leg (even though I kinda often felt nerve sciatic symptoms down my left leg also but it was less prominent than my right). I did several months of PT and stopped going to the gym and it did not go away and after about half a year I got an epidural. At that same time I also discovered another social hobby that I loved doing so I managed to keep myself occupied and somewhat stopped thinking about my sciatica and it supposedly went away at the end of 2013 and that was when I returned to the gym. Up to this day I still have no idea whether it was the epidural that got rid of the sciatica back then or whether it was simply I was able to forget about the symptoms and occupy myself with the new social hobby that I enjoyed.

Fast forward five years in July 2018 I supposedly 'reinjured' myself squatting and the sciatica symptoms returned. For the months after that I stopped squatting and deadlifting but I continued going to the gym only doing exercises that I thought theoretically do not really compress my lower back such as bench press etc. The few months passed and I felt I was getting worse and not better and I stopped gym again completely at the end of 2018 and it supposedly got better after 3 months but not completely gone. I went back to the gym at around March 2018 and again felt I was aggravating my back even though I was only doing bench press etc so I stopped gymming again in April. I then spent April all the way in November babying my back and made sure not to stress it in anyway (other than that one brief time in July I helped my family carry a small clothes dryer and experienced a small flareup).

During those seven months from April to November I was absolutely miserable and pretty much had nothing to look forward to in my life. My passion which was lifting in the gym was completely sucked out of me and I felt this condition was perpetual with no clear sight on when I was going to recover and truly be able to go back to the gym. I was afraid that I would never ever be able to get back in the gym again and forever be resigned to live the rest of my life in a repulsive disgusting skinny fat body. During these seven months from April to November I also had other personal problems that was difficult to overcome and it fueled my anger and frustration. It would be a lie if I said I did not contemplate suicide a couple of times in those months. In addition, I also got another epidural in May of that year which did nothing for me.

As the months went by I felt I was again somewhat better but just never completely gone and I once again decided to head back to the gym being that seven months out was so long. I have been lifting from November all the way up to this day. But I still have chronic sciatic symptoms and some days are better than others. But doing stuff in the gym I would always feel symptoms (not sharp shooting pain that would make me want to stop lifting but slight tingling or burning sensations) even if I was doing weighted callisthenics which was supposed to traction my back and not compress my back. Nevertheless I had not given up and still continued to lift in the gym anyway even though I've just been doing mainly weighted pullups and dips. Around recently like last month or so I discovered Dr Sarno and TMS and have somewhat gone through about a quarter of his book and have been frequenting this forum seeking for more guidance and I was instantly drawn to him and his approach that suggested that chronic back pain had strong psychosomatic elements to it and I felt that TMS was the only explanation I could give regarding my chronic sciatica and back pain given that it has been a year and a half since I had 'injured' my back? I have also read so many conflicting sources on herniated discs with some saying they heal and resolve in weeks whilst other sources saying they don't heal or take an extremely long time to heal ranging from months to years due to a lack of blood supply.

I am trying very hard to believe I have TMS and that my back injury surely would have already healed by now. What do you guys think regarding this issue? Is TMS a possibility based on the accounts above? I am at my wits end and really want my sciatica to go away forever and not having to lift at the gym with great fear that I am aggravating and making a 'structural injury' worse?

 

You should read all the posts under Success Stories where people talk about healing from sciatica pain.
You tried a non-Sarno route and it didn't work. Time to listen to those who healed successfully, despite all the deformities that doctors found in them.
We all went through doubts, just like you did. The only way to swim is to get in the water.