Day 1 New to TMS

Hi! My name is Denice and I'm from Sweden. I am new to this group and so grateful to be a part of this. I don't know how to be brief. I'll try. If anyone in this group can read, I am grateful. I do not think I can do this alone. I need guidance.

This is my story. I have always been a sensitive child. Often very happy, but also very sad and worried.

Anyway. I think I have had a lot of trauma in my life that I think I have been able to handle, but after reading a lot about TMS this December, I understand that I may not. I think I have always been honest about how I feel and that I do not have a hard time saying what I think.

I moved to Italy a few years ago and I never think I have been so happy. At the same time as this was happening, there was also a severe alcoholism for my father and a divorce between our parents. This got me moving home. I felt I was the one who needed to save their marriage.

When I got home it was chaos. Dad was drunk constantly. I met a guy I moved in with. He dumped me and dad and Mom's divorce went through. My mother moved out and so did my brother. I got a feeling again of duty. I saw it as if I was being left behind. After that, my father left me and terminated our relationship and left me with a debt of SEK 300,000. Dumped, a dad who left me with debts. How more devastated. In this moment that began to hurt my entire abdomen, pelvis and urethra. It felt like constant cramping, needing to pee, I could not sit or walk and was ready to take my life. I was diagnosed with IC and chronic urethritis and also pudendal neurolgia. I tried everyting on this Earth. I also just eat fruit for 2 years and I got better. Today I should say 70 % better.

But then came another stressful period in my life and I started to get a sore jaw. If I thought my abdomen hurt, this was worse. I read about TMJ. Made some X-rays, but not on the joint itself. I thought this might have something to do with the fact that I removed all my wisdom teeth a few years before when I read a lot about cavitations, but no surgery helped. I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. After that I also saw an article about breast implant illness. I had a breast implant and it made me think that was the reason I was sick. I had surgery to remove them and parts of my breasts. It's been two years now and I still feel just as bad every time I look in the mirror. 3 months before explant I started to get a toothache. No dentist finds anything wrong, braces do not work. Im diagnosed with atypical trigeminal pain, TMJ and I'm at the bottom of the ocean and have no hope. Does this sound like TMS? I really need hope.

 

@deny, I'm so sorry to hear of all you have gone through and are still going through, and I am happy that you have found the forum. We aren't doctors, but it appears that you have seen plenty of doctors who are happy to diagnose you, but who can't offer any solutions - or none that work. This is what has led you to learn about TMS, because your experience fits the classic description of TMS, to say nothing of your "goodist" personality - which is what caused you to feel like you had to take care of people who did not deserve your care and love.

YOU are the one that needs care and love, and like most of us, you need to be able to care for yourself, and above all to love yourself enough to know that you deserve to heal.

You're starting our free program, which is a great first step. You haven't mentioned Dr. Sarno, so please be sure to read one of his books. The Mindbody Prescription is mentioned often, but since you already have a good start on your knowledge, I would recommend his last book, The Divided Mind. That was the first book that saved my life. The second was Hope And Help For Your Nerves, by Claire Weekes, and the third was When The Body Says No by Gabor Mate. As well as this forum and doing the SEP. I have a lot of other favorite resources on my profile page, feel free to check those out.

You have not mentioned therapy - if you can, find a therapist who understands that our minds can make our bodies sick.

Keep doing this work, and keep posting. We're here for you.

~Jan

 

Thank you so much to answer on my story. Is it a MOST to read Sarno's books? Do I need to read them all? Im Swedish and dont prefer to read in English.
I want to find a therapist. But we don't have any TMS Therapist in Sweden..

/Denice