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New To TMS & Happy To Be In Touch With Emotions

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by KellyMartinSpeaks, Jan 29, 2014.

  1. KellyMartinSpeaks

    KellyMartinSpeaks New Member

    Hi there, I recently was introduced to TMS through some videos a friend sent me and also just reading DR SARNO's book The Divided Mind.

    I realise over the years I have had TMS but I am struggling a bit to understand how things are going to change right now.

    Prior to looking into TMS I was practising a mindful path which is basically feeling my feelings, embracing what comes up so when I was hit with another bout of back ache, neck, head-ache, jaw-ache etc etc... (moving around but generally in back and neck), I was determined to understand this.

    My personality has been a people pleasing/needing to be good/too many pressures on myself most of my life but I want to change all of this now (hence mindfulness).

    What is frustrating me is most of the pain is at my computer (tried 3 chairs so know it must not be chair). Most of my work is at the PC and I have recently started putting my writing out there on the www much more and there has been fear about this and more self pressure.

    A few weeks back before I heard about TMS I was feeling the back pain and also telling my house-mate ' there is pain but I feel a lot of sadness in my heart chakra and my throat chakra' so I knew it was something else.

    So I am aware, my mind has been protecting me from inner stuff in my unconscious, I am more than prepared to feel this emotionally. I would personally rather feel my emotions than the pain. So I feel kinda stumped on why nothing is shifting.

    I look forward to your insights and expertise, I am new to this and have begun a rage journal.

    Sienna likes this.
  2. yb44

    yb44 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Welcome, Kelly. Most of us do not achieve complete healing just from awareness alone but you have taken a giant leap towards healing so don't despair. You sound very open and willing to hear the messages your body is sending you. Take a look at some of the success stories on this forum and at www.tmswiki.org They can give us all a well needed boost. Along side your rage journal think about keeping a gratitude journal. I as much as anyone else can get so caught up in the negative that I fail to acknowledge the many positives I have in my life. Apart from Dr Sarno's books there are several other good ones such as The Great Pain Deception which contains absolutely everything, including the kitchen sink, on how to heal ourselves from pain and equivalent symptoms. I'm sure others will come along shortly with plenty of other suggestions. There is no shortage of supportive people on this forum.
  3. KellyMartinSpeaks

    KellyMartinSpeaks New Member

    Thank you so much, that does give me some relief, I will do just that and look into that other book. I review books on my blog so it may be good to take a look at The Great Pain Deception, blessings and love xxx

    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  4. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, KellyMartinSpeak. Welcome to the forum which is like a club. The best club I've ever joined.
    You're off to a very good start, reading and thinking about yourself and what gives you pain.

    You really don't have to change anything in your personality as a goodist. Just modify a little.
    Realize that you can't be perfect and should just try to do your best. Nobody else is perfect, so why do
    you need to be?

    I suggest you watch the video lecture Dr. Sarno gives on his book, The Mindbody Prescription.
    It's at this URL:

    So you review books on your blog. Great. I'm a freelance writer with a blog about my books:
    walteroleksybooks.com Hope you'll take a look and reply to me at waltmax69@gmail.com

    Where in the UK are you? I've been to London and loved it. I enjoy watching British movies and TV
    and love Downton Abbey.

    I'll give you that URL to Sarno's lecture now: http://tmswiki.org/forum/threads/this-is-it-guys-the-sarno-video-wow.3336/
    Sienna and KellyMartinSpeaks like this.
  5. Alex Bloom LCSW

    Alex Bloom LCSW TMS Therapist

    Hi Kelly,

    I think you've made an important connection between your pain and sitting at the computer: this is a time in which you feel pressure and vulnerability around work and criticism. It is at this time that the pain is the most effective at accomplishing its goals!

    As you are starting to see, the pain's purpose is to keep you distracted and occupied so that you don't focus on the issues that your subconscious has learned to avoid. Even though consciously you would rather feel emotion than pain, your subconscious is still averse to going there. Hence the pain. And what better time to make you question yourself and your ability to deal with it than when you are trying to perform your responsibilities. This self-doubt, and projecting into the future is very typical for TMSers, but it is keeping you from confronting the main issues.

    When you feel pain at the computer you have to remind yourself that it is not a structural problem. Do you find the pain coming up when you are sitting in other positions relaxing? This can be even more evidence that your pain is based on your emotional and mental state rather than your physical situation.

    I encourage you to continue to read the material on the wiki as well as these forums in order to more fully understand how your subconscious uses fear to keep you distracted from your feelings. You might find this article by my colleague Alan to be helpful.
    KellyMartinSpeaks likes this.
  6. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Kelly. Good advice from Alex, but be careful not to condition yourself to expect pain when at the computer.
    Keep working on discovering repressed emotions.
    KellyMartinSpeaks likes this.
  7. KellyMartinSpeaks

    KellyMartinSpeaks New Member

    Hi Walt, thank you so much, I will check out that video. I will try and remember to check out your site, you may need to remind me as rather full on at the moment blogging and with reviews and give-aways. I tend to review self development/mindfulness books if that helps?

    I am in Gloucester in the UK. I do often get told that you guys across the pond do like our Downton Abbey lol not my cup of tea but I do like Mr Selfridges as English TV goes. I watch mainly your television shows :-D

    It is currently raining lots and very typical UK, how is in your neck of the woods and where are you from?


  8. KellyMartinSpeaks

    KellyMartinSpeaks New Member

    Hi Alex, thanks, that is very informative for me. I am hopefully going to be reviewing a book called the Pain Deception soon so going to get to know about this all a lot more.

    The pain generally comes up at my computer. I can go for a long walk in nature and come back sit at the PC and wham bam instantly aching and pain. I have also for years now had middle back pain when walking and numbness, but mainly when walking slowly. I like to walk and sometimes I love to walk slowly take things in. I did wonder if it occurs then also because I am slowing right down and being more present and taking things in, my emotions are felt more when I slow down.

    I am okay generally on the sofa but recently have been getting neck issues in bed. So its shifting. Also a skin condition called rosacea on my right cheek which is not budging and I have felt for the longest time this is stress or something emotionally related, a potential fear or anger at not being seen for who I really am or misunderstood. I question these things.

    Generally when I am relaxing somewhere I am fine. I can go for a coffee in town and sit for 2 hours on a chair and no pain in neck or back.

    Thanks again for your thoughts and giving me something to ponder on. I will go check out your friends article now.


  9. KellyMartinSpeaks

    KellyMartinSpeaks New Member

    Alex very good article, thank you, I will share that on.

  10. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Kelly. It's funny that you like American movies and TV and I prefer British.

    I like Selfridge's too. '

    I'm in a Chicago suburb. Very cold and lots of snow so far this winter. Everyone has had enough
    but it's still early. Ugh.

    Your pain when at the computer may not be about being there but about what you work on on the computer.
    Is it a stressful job? I find that taking deep breathing breaks help, or just standing up and swinging my arms
    in front of me and behind me. It helps get more air into our lungs and that can be relaxing.

    Have a great day.
  11. KellyMartinSpeaks

    KellyMartinSpeaks New Member

    I would love some snow. We are yet to have any this winter o_O

    At my computer I am writing inspirational and motivational blog posts and other writing. I also spend a lot of time networking. Basically it's a big change from hiding my writing in the past to letting the world see it. :D Going from being invisible to visible, so I have no doubt my inner child is scared of the change.

    Enjoy your day, it is evening here now so about to watch TheVoiceUK :)
  12. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Writing inspirational and motivational blog posts sounds great. What blog is it? I'd like to look at it.

    We don't get The Voice on BBC America TV. I wish we got more good stuff on that channel but it's not giving it to us.
    KellyMartinSpeaks likes this.
  13. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    We get some of the best British Tv from our Public Broadcasting System (PBS) stations.
    KellyMartinSpeaks likes this.
  14. KellyMartinSpeaks

    KellyMartinSpeaks New Member

    Hi, I think my blog post is in my signature, unless its just coming up on my screen? Beneath my replies?
    You may get the voice on BBC Iplayer online. Its just fun, song contest with Will I Am and he always makes me smile :D
  15. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    I'll look at your blog later this afternoon.

    I have a blog about my published books:
    KellyMartinSpeaks likes this.
  16. jazzhands

    jazzhands Peer Supporter

    Kelly, I think its great you have been doing the mindfulness stuff, it is very helpful. I think someone wise said in another thread that, although it wont help with the pain before you realize you have TMS, once you make the connection it is very useful. I was meditating for several months before I discovered TMS and made a very quick recovery. Good luck.
    KellyMartinSpeaks likes this.
  17. KellyMartinSpeaks

    KellyMartinSpeaks New Member

    Walt that is fantastic! I just checked out your site, you have a lot of talent and WOW a lot of published books brilliant to see!

  18. KellyMartinSpeaks

    KellyMartinSpeaks New Member

    Thank you, I am glad to found out about it, still on the recovering road, seems to have gotten more intense this week so hopefully this is just a spurt because I am aware.

  19. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thanks, Kelly. I've loved writing books. Researching and learning a lot about a lot of things.

    Yes, awareness can return some pain, but it leads to recovery.
    Thanks to the forums, I learn more about myself and others every day.
  20. KellyMartinSpeaks

    KellyMartinSpeaks New Member

    Thanks for your advice on The Great Pain Deception, it is very good and my back pain is a lot less from reading it.
    yb44 likes this.

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