new to this forum :)

[lilyboo83]

Hi everyone

Where to start. ... I am 30 years old and am currently on sick leave from my job as a secretary at an investment bank. It all started with pain in my right wrist and after few days it was so bad I had to use the mouse in my left hand. Within days the pain had started in that side too! I told my boss I needed a few days off as thought that would be enough.

The pain then spread to my neck chest back arms shoulders shoulder blades ribs...basically my whole upper body. I saw a chiropractor who said my hips were twisted in different ways and I might have thoracic outlet syndrome. An Orthopedic surgeon who said I shouldnt type again until I am pain free and said I was a bit hyper mobile. I had physio and alexander texhnique. They all said I have bad posture, stiff lower body, weak upper body and core. I have had trigger point therapy and myofascial release for the trigger points which hurt to touch and refer pain.

I am not being paid whilst I am off so asked my employer if I could go back on a phased return which happened a couple of weeks ago, when i went home the pain was worse than ever, even though I had only sent a few emails. At the time I thought it was due to soft tissue memory and my weak muscles but maybe it was the stress of being back there?

Also I should explain that I hate my job and a month before this happened my workload had doubled so was spending so much time typing and using the mouse. So I thought that had caused the injury?!

I have always been a very anxious worried person. A massive perfectionist and never really happy. Always wanting more and never content. When I was about 18 I started getting cystitis all the time and then yeast infections and they still plague me to this day. I also went through a phase of having weird pains and sensations and thinking I had stomach cancer, MS, brain tumors. I also get panick attacks and sometimes feel like I cant get my breath.i always seem to get poorly. Upset stomach, colds etc.

My mum left my dad when I was 12 and I dealt with it by looking after my sister and dad. And my dads new partner died of cancer a few years ago. I nursed her in her last days and the experience has haunted me ever since. I don't think I ever dealt with either which may have comtributed to my issues.

With this new problem I feel very hopeless and although I have read the book I cant believe that j will get better as have issues with my muscles etc.

I apologise for the essay!

Thank you

Lily

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Lily. I'm 83 in a Chicago suburb, and had bad back pain over a year ago and healed from TMS knowledge and techniques.
You can, too. You WILL be free of those awful pains. I wasn't totally free of pain until I convinced myself that I believed 100
percent that it was from TMS repressed emotions. Mine went back to my youth, and you are I have several things in common:
we are both children of divorced parents, both cared for an aging person, and I've been in jobs I hated so much I had the shakes
when at work.

You're having pain all over because of your repressed childhood emotions and not liking your job or boss. Your pain isn't coming
because you're working on the computer but like many others you associate that with expecting pain.

You've been through doctors' diagnoses and they don't agree about anything causing your pain. It's not physical, it's psychological.

I hope you will read the success story posts in the TMSWiki forum and see how others became free of their pain. And watch two
You Tube videos, one about Doctor Sarno on 20/20 and another that is a 2-hour lecture by Sarno. They tell more than I could
explain in an email about what TMS is, who gets it, how it hurts us and why it does that, and how to heal.

A main thing is not to give in to your fears. You need to be confident that you're going to be feeling fine and soon.
Everyone who posts on the TMSWiki has been through what you are going through and come out of the dark tunnel of fear
and despair.

Here are the links to the Sarno videos: http://tmswiki.org/forum/threads/a-...eo-lecture-on-the-mindbody-prescription.3635/

20/20 interview: http://tmswiki.org/forum/threads/the-classic-20-20-segment-with-dr-sarno.69/

 

[Ellen]

Hi Lilyboo83,

Welcome to the forum! I think you will find as you read the posts of our members that many of us have started out where you are--feeling hopeless and unsure. But then if you read the success stories, you'll see that many people have completely healed their TMS, or have made considerable progress toward that goal. Healing from TMS is a process and I congratulate you on starting your journey.

Your work situation has some similarities with mine when I first learned about TMS about 10 months ago. This time last year I had started a new job and soon after all of my TMS symptoms flared up--primarily fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, migraine, and insomnia. I was pretty miserable and struggling, but by taking a lot of medication was managing to get through my day. Then I started having a new symptom of extreme light sensitivity, and since my job involved reading on the computer for most of the day, this was a big problem. I tried everything to address it including wearing sunglasses while working, but the pain was excruciating especially with the migraines. So I came to the conclusion that I would need to go out on medical leave, and felt quite helpless because I'd tried every medical and alternative treatment for my chronic symptoms imaginable. I was very depressed and scared. Then I ran across the concept of TMS and saw myself on every page of the book I was reading. And then I had the sudden realization of why my symptoms had flared up with the job, and why I had developed the new symptom of light sensitivity. I'm a clinical social worker and my job at the time involved reviewing cases of children who were placed in residential mental health facilities. Most of these children had experienced abuse, neglect and trauma of some kind. I realized that reading these cases had triggered my own issues from my childhood and with my new knowledge of TMS, I could see that my unconscious was exacerbating the old symptoms, and creating a new symptom of light sensitivity to distract me from experiencing the emotional pain associated with my own childhood issues. Within a few days of realizing this, the light sensitivity went away. Then I began journaling about the my childhood issues, and my chronic pain symptoms and migraines gradually improved. I'm now about 80-90% symptom free.

So, Lily, you have said that you hate your job, and that your work level doubled recently. The anger that must have created is a likely trigger for TMS, especially in a perfectionist who wants to produce excellent work. You have also mentioned other issues that can lead to TMS. I suggest that you begin one of the structured educational programs that are free here on the tmswiki--the Structured Educational Program (SEP) or Alan Gordon's Recovery Program. These programs will guide you into how to address your issues in a structured, manageable way through journaling, mindfulness meditation, and other techniques. You will find much wisdom and support from the good people on this forum along the way.

Again, welcome to the forum

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Ellen, you've given a wonderful, hope-full reply to Lily. Suggesting she begin one of the two structured educational programs will get her
off to a great start.

Your work as a social clinical worker with emotionally disturbed children must be one of the most stressful jobs. A niece is in that work with
high school students and when we talk I can tell how much it affects her.

I was a reporter for the Chicago Tribune for seven years and got more than my fill of depressing news to cover. I finally left and went into
more positive work on magazines and then 40 years ago became a fulltime freelance writer of up-beat books. It's not a very financially secure
occupation but I love it.

 

[lilyboo83]

Hi both. I am very touched that you responded to my message it means a lot.

I am sorry for both your suffering and hope that one day we can all be happy!

I will definitely check out those links you sent me. I also brought a book on mindfulness and am going to start exercising again. I miss yoga!

Thank you again you are wondeful human beings.

Lily x