I am 54 and have struggled with what I believe is TMS/MBS since my early 30s. I have purchased several "self-help" books, but self-sabotage seems to be ingrained somehow as a barrier to making progress. In my early 30s I was told by a rheumatologist that I had "fibromyalgia." My first symptom had be unusual exhaustion. I would do an activity for example go to a horse clinic on the weekend and then feel like it took me an abnormal time to recover my energy. This happened more than once. I told my family dr. and he referred me to the rheumatologist. I did not know about trigger points, but I did have them when the rheumatologist pressed the "sore spots." I am a registered nurse and to make a long story short, I did not embrace or accept this diagnosis. At one point I was reduced to resting in bed. I was put on an anti-depressant etc. Because I worked in healthcare, I knew the medical community thought fibromyalgia was a bogus diagnosis for "crazy" women (I even sat at a dinner once next to a rheumatologist and had to listen to him talk about how he hated fibromyalgia patients...sigh). I did a lot of reading then, but did not find any information on TMS/MBS until about 2 or 3 years ago. I have managed my energy by not scheduling too much activity and knowing that if i did do something strenuous, I would "pay for it" and need rest days after. Fast forward to my recent life. I have been unable to get through a TMS book/program. I believe the root of my issues is emotional. Last year I became ill with an actual cytomegalovirus which gave me a pneumonia like illness and a "mono" syndrome. I was out of work on leave for about 2 months to recover. While on FMLA I decided that my nursing work was too stressful and the illness was a "warning sign" (most people when exposed to CMV would not get sick like I did unless they had an underlying immune problem which i did not). We decide to sell our home, I have not worked in about a year. My depression has returned, and I am back on wellbutrin (the only anti depressant that has worked for me). I have both of Dr. Schubner's books on ending pain and ending depression/anxiety, but something is "blocking"my healing. I live almost like someone with agoraphobia. So, I am seeking help. I realize I may need a psychotherapist. This led me to come here to see if I can find someone to see me over the internet/skype, etc. I still get the exhaustion and have depression/anxiety, other symptoms appear like wrist pain, back pain, muscle stiffness, etc. I try and ignore it and tell myself and my brain it is TMS/MBS and not an actual disease or deformity. That helps, but not as much as I want it to. Every time I think about going back to nursing, I feel such anxiety and panic, I decide it is impossible to go back. My last work place was pretty rough (we know healthcare is stressful work). But, I need to get healthy enough to engage with life again. I could go on. I know if you are on this forum too, you understand. This is my first post, I just want to introduce myself. I live in Texas have 3 grown children, 2 grands, and have been married to my husband for 34 years this December. I would love to hear particularly from anyone who has been successful with long-distance psychotherapy. I feel like I need a practitioner that specialized in TMS/MBS so they will "get me" and help me dig into why I can't seem to move forward with healing.