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New shoes

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by birder, Apr 24, 2021.

  1. birder

    birder Well known member

    Fear of change has been one of my greatest challenges during this TMS journey. Not just the big changes, like jobs, and houses, and husbands. The hardest ones seem to be a lot smaller, and the very hardest is... shoes.
    While I try to avoid talking specifically about my symptoms, the ones that affect me the most are in the knees-to-toes zone. So shoes are a big deal. Over time, I've found a shoe that I like, and I've stuck with it. So you wouldn't think it would be that big a deal to replace a worn-out pair with a new pair of the exact same make, size, even the same color, right? BUT IT IS. Breaking in a new pair of shoes is very scary and triggering for me, and even the same shoe has slight differences in fit that I can feel - it's like I'm the Princess and the Pea for feet. My current pair is worn down in the heel, and just writing this post and thinking about the switch is making my heart race and my anxiety flare. In the past I've tried both a gradual acclimation to the new shoes and an abrupt, throw-the-old-ones in the-trash-on-trash-day-so-I can't-dig-them-out switcharoo. Both ways are hell.
    Has anyone else struggled with this? Is there an approach that will lower my fear and increase the reward factor? Like, say, an actual reward?
  2. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    I had severe crps symptoms in my feet so I can totally relate. I wore huge Crocs for a long time. Then I switched to these clogs by Dansko . I was terrified of sneakers for a long time. A couple of options may be: You can put your old worn out ones away (don't throw them out though because it's too much for your brain to handle at the moment). so you know they are still there as a safety net, and start wearing the new ones a little at a time. You can even just put them where you can see them initially. Another option is to try a different kind of shoe like I did that was less threatening. The key is patience and slowly titrating exposure to whatever new shoes you choose. If you can only wear them for ten minutes without fear then that's what you do. Use fear as the guideline, not symptoms. The "reward" is knowing that you are n the right path and going in the right direction. The reward can also be that your'e not wearing busted up shoes and your outfit looks better lol! Just know you will get there eventually!
    Last edited: Apr 24, 2021
    birder likes this.
  3. birder

    birder Well known member

    Thanks for the great advice, miffybunny! I'll do just that. As for my reward, what you said plus chocolate ice cream should give me a push (chocolate is very motivating IMO).
    miffybunny likes this.
  4. Segastar

    Segastar Peer Supporter

    I have the worst time finding shoes that fit me, i walk so much on the sides of my feet, but i've been slowly trying out new shoes. My feet are constantly in pain too, mostly from a combination of knock knees and hip problems i inherited from my mom's side of the family. Wish you success in your shoe ventures!
    birder likes this.
  5. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Wonderful response Miffy! I love the "titration" in your suggestion.

    I know for myself, with feet TMS, I gave myself the middle path, choosing shoes after my recovery which I felt would be comfortable, even roomy. And cushy socks. Then new ski boots molded to be roomier... Using footbeds which were not the ridiculous "treat pain physically" several hundred dollar ones, of which I threw out several custom versions, but rather "superfeet," off the self. I want to "throw the dog a bone," give the feet and mind reassurance that there is nothing to worry about. My feet are normally supported, have room. Now if symptoms come up, it is my TMS work...

    There is an ease when I recall these things. Be kind to yourself birder!
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