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New Member - Day 20 of SEP and The Past fights back...

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by DontStopHiking, Jul 4, 2017.

  1. DontStopHiking

    DontStopHiking Newcomer

    Hi all!

    Like so many, I found Dr. Sarno's Healing Back Pain book after suffering through over 4 years of several painful chronic conditions. I saw many physicians and wellness practitioners, spent an obscene amount of money on medical tests and treatments, let alone the significant amount on over-the-counter meds and products. Started in the fall of 2012 - I was diagnosed with two disc herniations and spent 3 days a week seeing a chiropractor. Since then, I've sought treatment for several chronic conditions that kept popping up. One on top of the next - tennis elbow, IBS, plantar fasciatis, back muscle spasms and patella-femural syndrome. My psychological functioning was deteriorating throughout the years...anxiety, depression, and that burden of rage. There is so much to detail....but it seems like its all been said. No wonder the feeling of "seeing yourself on every page" in Dr. Sarno's book is a common experience!

    I had unimaginable pain reduction after reading Healing Back Pain 6 weeks ago. I blew through the book in 1.5 days. I'm a clinical psychologist so most of the material I'm very familiar with, however EVERYTHING changed when I ACTUALLY believed and applied the psychodynamics of psycho-somatization to myself. Then the weekend was over and I was back to seeing a full caseload at my private practice. Pain resurfaced hard and by Thursday that week, I was back to debilitating pain and emotional despondency. That's when I found the TMS Forum and began the SEP. I'm 20 days in and I'm continuing to understand the many triggers and recapitulations that keep the pain lingering. Over the past 4 years, I managed baseline pain levels of between 4-6, which would rage to 8-10 levels frequently. Since starting the SEP, baseline pain is from 0-2 with recurring levels reaching 3-4.

    A few months ago, I finished watching 11.22.63, a mini-series show on Hulu based on a Stephen King novel. The main character has the ability to travel back in time. He decides to stop the JFK assassination, but learns that "The Past" fights back dangerously when anyone tries to alter the past to change the future. This has become a metaphor for when I feel pain. I chuckle to myself that it is The Past fighting back. It makes sense neurobiologically and psychologically. Not easy to rewire the brain and work through repressed emotion when they've been reinforced for decades. Yesterday, I sat in my backyard and wrote in my special TMS SEP journal. I forgot to bring it back in and it got soaked in afternoon scattered showers. I laughed to myself again...The Past fighting back, trying to rain on my progress! I actually like the journal better this way - all warped and weathered. Ah, more symbolism...

    I was hoping to learn from others about a continued problem I face - MORNING PAIN. I still wake up every morning with pretty high levels of pain despite my ability to get my body virtually pain free during the day. I'm thinking it has to do with the unconscious process of dreaming. Curious if people have found doing dream work (recording dreams, journaling about dreams and/or working through them in therapy) helpful. Sometimes I'll recite Sarno's 12 daily reminders before I get out of bed and it seems to help. Has anyone made an acronym for the 12 reminders?

    I can share more personal details but I thought this was a good start. Thanks to all that have read my post!
    Dan
     

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