Day 1 New member and unfortunately a little bit sceptic

[Rubineo]

Hello!

I read about TMS the first time ±2 years ago. I was immediately of the opinion, that this could be the key to my recovery. I read Dr. Sarno´s book "Healing Back Pain" within 3 days - first I was enthusiastic, then really disappointed. I really missed clear instructions what to do to recover...it was a lot of information, but for me not really a strategy how to leave this mess behind me. So in the end I forgot about it and continued like always.

So what is always...

More or less 10 years ago I faced the "first time" really unclear health problems. I had strange pain in my right arm also tingling sensations in my feet and a feeling of loosing my mind. From today´s point of view that feeling was anxiety. After 6 months of doctor hopping I was finally "diagnosed" with Lyme disease by a so called expert. Not really based on evidence of blood tests - only because of the symptoms. I took a lot of antibiotics and in the end the pain disappeared. 3 years later in 2007 I got new symptoms, high blood pressure, "heart problems", pain almost all over my body. Again I was treated with antibiotics - but this time without success. The pain got even worse and I got more and more disappointed and scared. In the end all the pain disappeared during a 6 weeks treatment in a hospital that takes care about PPD and anxiety disorders. That was the first time I realized that my mind could be responsible for my symptoms.

After some more years of fake treatment with antibiotics I´m now at a point where I´m more or less convinced that my problems really are TMS and not Lyme disease. I had never a blood test positive for Lyme, no real structural explanation for my pain and problems but a lot of negative feelings and emotions.

I would like to point out that I already restarted with physical activity directly after having read Sarno the first time. I run usually two or three times a week 20-30 minutes and I practice 2-3 times per week Krav Maga, what really means a hard workout.

Typically my symptoms are moving the whole day. Right arm, left arm, neck and shoulders, my right leg...really strange. Today I´m able to run or even to do self defense training (real hard stuff to be honest) and the other day I have a weak leg and tingling feet. No doctor was able to explain me why I experience strength one day and horrible pain and weakness the next days. During the workout the pain usually disappears - what is logic to me according to the TMS hypothesis. I´m not able to think about health problems at the moment when someone attacks me...

I already wrote for me the so called Evidence Sheet and I started journaling 2 months ago. Some day I feel like not far away from a real breakthrough and unfortunately some days later I have a complete relapse - in thinking and also in pain.

I don´t want tot write too much now. I will give the SEP a try now because I feel that I need some structured way to deal with TMS.

Chris

P.S: I´m German - so please ask if something is not clear for you. English was always the worst of my foreign languages.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Welcome to the SEP program and Forum here Chris. Your English is almost perfect by the way.

I am glad you are committing to this program. As you know, many others find the symptoms come and go, with relapses. You are probably trying to associate relapse days with emotional pressures? Just seeing the possible correlations, or even just contemplating "what emotions or feelings or pressures might I be feeling today down deep?" can be a real help. Being curious without having to "fix or change." If possible, don't beat yourself up for relapses or "try too hard" to eliminate symptoms. This just adds pressure. Try to hold the whole process "loosely." Good luck!!

Andy B.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Chris.
I think most of us, me included, were at least a little skeptical of our pains being caused by TMS.
I withheld at least 10 percent of my back pain being caused by repressed emotions. When I finally
began to believe 100 percent in TMS, I healed. I still get occasional flare-ups, but they go away
when I tell myself they are from my stressful emotions... anger at my computer not behaving as I want,
financial worries, etc.

The SEP helped me a lot, especially journaling. It took me a while to realize I had a lot of repressed
anger and feelings of insecurity because my parents divorced when I was seven. In journaling,
I understood them better and that helped me to forgive them (they both had passed on by then).
Forgiving healed me.

You have gotten good medical reports, that your symptoms are not structural, so do work on believing
100 percent that they are from TMS, repressed emotions that may very well go back to your childhood,
as mine were, and/or you have a perfectionist and "goodist" personality (these character traits are common
among those with TMS symptoms). You don't have to stop being a perfectionist or goodist, just modify
the traits. And Dr. Sarno writes that you don't even have to solve a childhood problem, just recognize
it.

It's good to keep working out, even if you experience pain. This is what Steve Ozanich recommends
in his wonderful TMS book, The Great Pain Deception.

My mother was born in Austria, and I grew up loving both Austrian and German music and the beauty
of their countries. I studied German for two years in high school and learned it fairly well, then got to
put it to good use after college graduation when I spent two years in the US Army, the second one
in Frankfurt am Main. I loved my year in Germany and got to see most of the country. Your command
of English is excellent, better than mine of German.

Good luck and I will think of you downing a stein of Deutsche beer and eating some bratwurst.
Where in Germany do you live? My mother was born in Landek in the Austrian Tirol and I visited
the village when I was on leave in the army, and loved it and the mountains, also the mountains
of Bavaria.

 

[Rubineo]

Good Morning!

Thanks Andy and Walt for your reply - that gives me really a good feeling and I´m sure I´ll be able to overcome the pain one day.

I read that moving symptoms would be one of the most common and clear TMS indicators - I think it was Dr. Schubiner´s homepage where I read that. That was also what convinced me in the end to treat or to consider my pain as TMS. My biggest concern was always Lyme - but anyway I will have to find a way to deal with my concerns, which flare up almost every day when I experience symptoms. I try then to associate this with my emotional status - unfortunately sometimes I cannot see anything obvious and even nothing in deep.

But I already learned that rage, anger and fear feed the symptoms. Especially all the symptoms related to the nerves - tingling, weakness,...

@Walt: I was born near Lake Constance in Bavaria - a lovely region. For two years I lived also in Austrian Tirol not far away from Innsbruck (60km to Landeck) - I enjoyed it there really much. Today I live and work in Luxemburg.

Now I will proceed with the SEP day 3.

Chris