I started a new part time job a month ago. I am semi retired almost 58 with a life time of back stuff and heard about Dr Sarno a few years ago. Haven't been on here since last year. In fact last time I wrote it was about mid back pain with last job. I have been reading Steven Ozanich's book The Great Pain Deception and he talks about not babying yourself and going back to any type of job, lifting, sitting, bending, etc. I believe in TMS and I also think a life time of being told my pain was from my posture, lifting wrong, sitting wrong, etc is hard to undo! For the first time in my life I took a job that required some lifting and a lot of bending. I work at a small oil & vinegar shop. She buys the oils & vinegars from Italy in huge 30-50 lb jugs then we pour into these metal containers we bottle in 13 oz bottles and we print and put our label on. Its a cute store, I like the young owner and she has no problem lifting and doing everything and I didn't tell her of any of my past problems as I fully believe it is TMS. So in past month I notice that the only time I have pain like today is if I made a mistake or think I did something stupid, which I know is part of the perfectionist thing, as all people new are in a learning curve. Today before I even lifted the jugs or started bottling I accidentally put the wrong labels on 3 boxes of bottles, 12 in each box and the labels take a lot of patience to get each one off without breaking off pieces of it. By the end of a few my mid back was on fire! I immediately said to self, this is TMS, I must be angry at myself, fighting my fears, etc. No one would know I was in great pain as I did my best to ignore it and just kept working (of course it had to happen beginning of 5 hour shift!!) I still did my bottling later but the pain was there the whole time. It is almost gone now and I am trying to tell myself it is not because of sitting down on couch with heating pad, it is because the stress is gone. Also wondering if even though in pain I should put my heating pad in closet, if it is doing the same thing as going to physical therapy which I haven't in a few years. I came back here to start the journaling work. I know I am suppose to be patient with myself, my personality is to find the problem and fix it. And a bit obsessively at that. Well anyone have thoughts let me know and meanwhile I am going to do some journaling. Taking this job is a big leap of faith in TMS and I feel like its forcing me to face my beliefs and fears. Dr Sarno said to live your life without regard to the pain and thats what I am trying to do. And I will add that this past year I have been doing a lot of emotional eating and binging, my older daughter is going through a very messy divorce and I went from worrying about her to trying not to think about her, to visiting her and actually losing weight from stress, back to eating again at home. I came back from her place to starting new job last month.