I’m new here trying to figure this out, so I hope I’m doing this right! I am a 33 year old stay at home mom with a 17 month old and expecting my 2nd in September. My chronic pain started at age 4 after experiencing childhood sexual abuse. I’ve had ongoing symptoms since then, as well as many, many, many new symptoms that have popped up any time something traumatic happens. I’m not going to go into detail on all of the diagnosis and symptoms I’ve experienced as I don’t think that is helpful to my brain to focus on them. I learned about TMS last year after reading Dr. Sarno’s book. I then hired a TMS coach to help me through the process as I felt like everything I read made sense but I had no idea on how to make progress. I’ve also been seeing a somatic therapist for the last few years which has been very helpful in breaking my body out of a chronic state of fight-or-flight. I’m currently struggling with multiple symptoms, but I have more good days now than I ever did in the past. I feel like my brain is my biggest obstacle in recovery; I am prone to rumination, hyperfixation, black and white thinking, perfectionism, and lots of anxiety. I have embraced the TMS diagnosis for over a year now but I know there is still a lot of work I need to do.
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Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
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New here
- Thread starter Zaylou
- Start date
Today’s TMS wins:
- introduce myself on TMS wiki forum
- somatic therapy
- practice sitting in my chair and resting rather than forcing myself to be productive when my body says no
- read some posts on the recovery forum
- body scan where I list all of the places where I feel comfortable and symptom free in my body
- introduce myself on TMS wiki forum
- somatic therapy
- practice sitting in my chair and resting rather than forcing myself to be productive when my body says no
- read some posts on the recovery forum
- body scan where I list all of the places where I feel comfortable and symptom free in my body
Welcome, @Zaylou! It sounds to me like you've already got a good balance of things going on with the work you are doing. Just in case you don't know already though, there are some free programs on the Wiki that a lot of people find helpful:
The 42-day Structured Educational Program which is on the wiki at:
https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program (Structured Educational Program)
Alan Gordon's original four-part TMS Recovery Program is on the wiki at:
https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/TMS_Recovery_Program (TMS Recovery Program)
Alan's 21-day Pain Recovery Program is here on the forum, not the wiki:
https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/ (Pain Recovery Program)
The 42-day Structured Educational Program which is on the wiki at:
https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Structured_Educational_Program (Structured Educational Program)
Alan Gordon's original four-part TMS Recovery Program is on the wiki at:
https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/TMS_Recovery_Program (TMS Recovery Program)
Alan's 21-day Pain Recovery Program is here on the forum, not the wiki:
https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/ (Pain Recovery Program)
Cactusflower
Beloved Grand Eagle
Hello @Zaylu
It sounds like you are doing great things, and making great progress.
One area you might like to look at is how you think about yourself: the words you say, the things you "blame", the patterns that have happened over time:
"I feel like my brain is my biggest obstacle" ... I like to employ the "what if" strategy: what if my brain is doing exactly what I need at this time? Your brain is taking in every single thing you think about it, your emotions, your past experiences and everything that goes on in your mind. It truly hears you and then it does it's best to interpret your safety needs based on what seems to be happening. The caveat is that the mind, especially the subconscious knows no time frame. So the abuse and the subsequent patterns and cycles that often develop in our psyche because of this grievous violence towards our well-being might still be echoing in there somewhere. Basically, your brain is simply doing it's job. So now you know that your brain is functioning as it should, your opinion about "obstacle" might change into a thankfulness of this brain to keep you safe. You are learning together, over time that the threats have lessened, that you are safe within your mind and your brain and your body.
I find the "what if" strategy has offered me a lot more patience and kindness towards all parts of myself. I most likely have suffered the same fate as you have, but have no memory (the possibility is that I was an infant, and it was a relative I loved). So even my possible abuse is a "what if".... my recovery is several years long and lately I have had some more symptoms arise. "What if" I need these symptoms to heal? "What if" I need to hear "slow down" more loudly. "What if" there is another threat in my life somewhere that brings up the same feelings of lack of safety (I often think about what they may be) - and my biggest one "what if everything is working as it should! That means there is NOTHING "wrong" with me, and everything right to help me to heal fully and completely". These are comforting thoughts for me. What comforting thoughts might you begin to adopt that have true meaning and offer you hope and healing, and that help you cultivate a mindset that all is well?
It sounds like you are doing great things, and making great progress.
One area you might like to look at is how you think about yourself: the words you say, the things you "blame", the patterns that have happened over time:
"I feel like my brain is my biggest obstacle" ... I like to employ the "what if" strategy: what if my brain is doing exactly what I need at this time? Your brain is taking in every single thing you think about it, your emotions, your past experiences and everything that goes on in your mind. It truly hears you and then it does it's best to interpret your safety needs based on what seems to be happening. The caveat is that the mind, especially the subconscious knows no time frame. So the abuse and the subsequent patterns and cycles that often develop in our psyche because of this grievous violence towards our well-being might still be echoing in there somewhere. Basically, your brain is simply doing it's job. So now you know that your brain is functioning as it should, your opinion about "obstacle" might change into a thankfulness of this brain to keep you safe. You are learning together, over time that the threats have lessened, that you are safe within your mind and your brain and your body.
I find the "what if" strategy has offered me a lot more patience and kindness towards all parts of myself. I most likely have suffered the same fate as you have, but have no memory (the possibility is that I was an infant, and it was a relative I loved). So even my possible abuse is a "what if".... my recovery is several years long and lately I have had some more symptoms arise. "What if" I need these symptoms to heal? "What if" I need to hear "slow down" more loudly. "What if" there is another threat in my life somewhere that brings up the same feelings of lack of safety (I often think about what they may be) - and my biggest one "what if everything is working as it should! That means there is NOTHING "wrong" with me, and everything right to help me to heal fully and completely". These are comforting thoughts for me. What comforting thoughts might you begin to adopt that have true meaning and offer you hope and healing, and that help you cultivate a mindset that all is well?
JanAtheCPA
Beloved Grand Eagle
That's a really good intro, @Zaylou, especially this:
In addition to the great advice from @BloodMoon and @Cactusflower, I'll just add my personal little self-talk trick for when a symptom is causing anxiety, which is to take some calming breaths and then talk rationally to my brain and say something along the lines of "Hey, this (whatever symptom) isn't necessary..." You can do this silently, aloud or on paper, continue the conversation or keep it simple - however you do it, self-talk is surprisingly effective and takes very little time or effort.
In addition to the great advice from @BloodMoon and @Cactusflower, I'll just add my personal little self-talk trick for when a symptom is causing anxiety, which is to take some calming breaths and then talk rationally to my brain and say something along the lines of "Hey, this (whatever symptom) isn't necessary..." You can do this silently, aloud or on paper, continue the conversation or keep it simple - however you do it, self-talk is surprisingly effective and takes very little time or effort.