New here and needing support

Hello, all! I’m so grateful to have found this site. I’ve suffered from back pain for 20 years, jaw and neck pain for 18 years, and shoulder pain and carpal tunnel for the past year or so—despite having a healthy body with no major abnormalities revealed on x-rays/MRIs—all TMS. I read Healing Back Pain and The Mindbody Prescription and immediately felt a weight lifted off my shoulders, as if I’d been waiting for permission to stop worrying about my mysterious and progressively worsening pain. I’ve been focusing on my anger issues, journaling, and practicing somatic tracking in addition to my normal meditation practice and other healthy lifestyle habits.
My question is this: in my other lifestyle practices, particularly the work of holistic psychiatrist, Kelly Brogan, we talk a lot about letting go of “victim stories,” things that keep us stuck, and practicing things like The Law if Attraction, which states that if you focus on positive things happening to you being responsible for your own feelings, more positive things will happen and you are in control. By focusing on how inept my parents were and all the painful things that were done to me as a child, I feel as though I’m perpetuating my victimhood and possibly attracting negative energy. I realize this is fear talking; I’m just wondering if anyone else can relate or has any words of wisdom. Thanks so much for your support!

 

Hello beautiful,

This is a legitimate concern because people can spiral into negativity but it doesn’t have to happen. I use Emotional Freedom Technique everyday and this issue is something the EFT/Tapping community are pretty good at explaining and essentially this is the take: we only focus on these negative emotions and experiences in order to bring them to the surface so that we can deal with them and neutralise their power. With tapping we do this through a combination of speaking the truth about how we feel while activating certain meridian points (which soothe the amygdala, lower cortisol and basically teach our brain that we can think about these bad experiences yet relax about them at the same time. It’s very much a form of somatic experiencing and cognitive soothing), and then we turn our attention to the positive to create goodness, peace and freedom.

I’ve been on this forum for a long time and have noticed problems do occur when people get trapped in endlessly repeating or digging through the garbage of the past in the vague hope that this will somehow prove cathartic. It doesn’t. Journaling, tapping, whatever method you choose is meant to function as a release. It’s a bridge to the other side.

The whole point of connecting with these memories, traumas and such is simply so that we can learn from them and then let them go. The biggest lesson is usually that in some way the behaviours and beliefs we adopted in the past kept us safe, and so our unconscious mind keeps on with what worked rather than what is best for us now. This where limiting beliefs come into play.

All of this jibes perfectly with the Law of Attraction which would affectionately view these experiences as ‘contrast’.

I find it does well to view ourselves, our healing and our lives as an evolution, and revisiting aspects of our past that were not so great enables us to peel back those protective layers, thereby enabling our authentic selves to shine.

So don’t worry too much about this. It sounds like you have a wonderful approach to healing. ❤️

 

Perfect reply from our dear plum.

I posted a quote about this on my profile years ago from Dianne J. Moore, writer, blogger (with my bolded emphasis:
"There are many spiritual groups... that imply you must denounce all negative thoughts and allow only positive thoughts to enter your mind. These teachings warn that if you don't ward off negative emotions, you will draw negativity into your life. I'm all for positive thoughts, and... I believe you can manifest what you want in life by staying focused and upbeat, but to deny negative thoughts that are charged with emotion will only bring ruin. Change comes from truth. You must look at the truth, feel the feelings, or they will hold you hostage until you get brave enough to deal with them."

 

Thank you so, so much, plum! Just reading response has me feeling more confident. I love tapping, although I’ve really only done it to combat an anxiety/panic attack. What a great idea to do it daily for this purpose! So when you tap, do you focus on a specific past experience and talk through the emotions it causes you? Or focus on unpleasant emotions tied to past experiences in general? Adding tapping to my daily self-care makes so much sense. Thank you again <3

 

SO TRUE!! True healing comes from turning toward pain, not paving over it with forced positivity. Thank you!!

 

Yay! Another tapper ❤️

I’ve done both but I find the greatest boons come from dealing with the emotions themselves. Sometimes I’ve had to tap through a few layers, mostly in the interests of facing down the surge of feeling that comes from waking dragons, but the real juice lies with the emotions.

Are you familiar with ‘the movie method’? It’s perfect for tapping through traumatic incidents. One of the Tapping Solution Podcasts talks you through it. I’m sorry I can’t immediately find it but here’s the link to the podcast (which features some brilliant subjects utterly germane to TMS. The Ortner’s credit Sarno):

https://www.thetappingsolution.com/notes-bits/ (The Tapping Solution Podcast)

One great idea I heard recently (from Jessica Ortner) is to journal as we recommend here and then use those phrases and words to tap. It truly personalises the whole process and is something I’m going to try. It’s superb self-care. I tap and then meditate each night. Nothing heroic. Ten or fifteen minutes is enough. Usually.

(I hope this post is decent. Autocorrect is misbehaving. It changed tapper to rapper and boons to boobs. )

plum x

 

Gotta love auto correct.

 

I had not heard of it! Checking it out now. Thank you so much!!