Hi - I'm new to this forum - I found this site after reading Healing Back Pain. I popped in on a Saturday Chat a few weeks ago just after debilitating pain changed my life. During that chat it was suggested that I follow the SEP to start my journey to recovery. Here's my story so far: It was the day before Thanksgiving, I was at work - I have a very physical and stressful job that I get no joy from - I was reaching under a table to move a large package and felt a twinge in my back. The twinge turned into a hot, burning pain that eventually radiated down my right buttocks and leg and left my right foot numb. When it got to the point that all I could do was crawl I went to the ER. Fast forward thru all the conventional medical care - pain meds, MRI that showed L5 S1 disc protruding on nerve and 2 steroid injections - I'm not pain free by any means, but I much more functional. I can walk and sit for short periods of time but usually wind up on my hands and knees, frozen in that position until the sharpness of the pain subsides or lessens - when this occurs I've tried yelling at my pain but have found that if I sing songs with words geared toward my pain it helps me relax more so the pain lessens faster - like the Frozen hit "Let it go, let it go I'm not having this paaain or Carly Simon's "I haven't the time for the pain..." I'm still not back at work because I can't sit for more that 10 minutes or drive yet - but not working is the least of my concerns right now. I figured that this didn't happen to me, it happened for me. My body is telling me I need to make a change. OK, so I get this. But I'm still in a great deal of pain and am only able to be pain free if I'm laying down. I feel that by being so sedentary, according to recent health studies, I might as well be smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day. (This bothers me to no end because I'm a very active non-smoker.) I'm almost finished with the SEP and I've also read Pain Free for Life by Scott Brady and have really learned a lot about myself with all the journaling and writing exercises and am sure this is TMS/PPD issue. I miss my life. I'm trying each day to get back to more & more normal physical activity. Just yesterday I went to the community pool with my neighbor who takes an aqua aerobics class. I walked in the water for almost an hour watching the snow fall outside - not pain free, but a lot less pain - psychologically, I felt like a warrior. When I got home I walked by my beloved little red Toyota truck parked in front of my house, that I haven't driven since this all happened, and after brushing away some snow, I noticed a scrape on the back side that was probably left there by the truck that picks up the recyclables. My mind immediately went into a rage mode, my truck! somebody defaced my beautiful truck! A moment later, I realized I felt no pain. When I realized I was not in pain, my pain returned. AHH! How did that happen? How do I channel that distraction again? That's what all this is about but I can't get to it on my own doing. What am I missing? Help. Please. Thanks for taking the time to read this.