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Need to Vent / need support -- toe problem

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by SuperKev, Oct 24, 2014.

  1. SuperKev

    SuperKev New Member

    Hi, all and thanks in advance. First, some background.

    OK so I am a TMS serial victim going back decades. From mystery Achilles tendon pain to chronic sinus infections to gout – oh and back pain. Over the years I have kicked all of these through my TMS work, but my body then throws me a new curve ball. grrr.

    I need some positive reassurance usually when I have a relapse – it worked when I posted on another site for my (new and surprising) gout problems a couple years ago, which I since got rid of after realizing it was a big distraction with no logic behind it. (I mean I had no uric acid in my labs)

    Years ago when I had a serial set of tms pain issues to work through, it included chronic ingrown toenails. But that was 15 – 20 years ago.

    About two weeks ago I was picking at a small scab on my big toe, which over a couple days became inflamed and resembled an ingrown toenail. I went to the podiatrist and snip snip, he did soem minor surgery removing part of the nail… but instead of getting better, my toe swelled in the part right where my nail was cut so it was ingrown again literally days after the surgery. So I went back, and the dr once again again repeated the surgery, saying there must have been a stray piece of toenail stuck there. And yet, again, it is happening days after the second snip – a mystery swelling as if my ingrown toenail wants to stay that way.

    I just moment ago got very angry – there is no explanation. My toe is not infected (and hasn’t been – the dr was never worried about that despite the mystery swelling). He insisted I should be fine after both surgeries – no complications expected… And yet, my nail bed is swelling over my cut nail again. Three days after. My toe was feeling fine, I took the bandage off, and I almost saw the skin start to swell over the nail before my eyes as if to taunt me.

    When my tms started 20 years ago with Achilles tendonitis my doctors insisted there was no reason for it… It was a mystery. And then I found Sarno and boom, I was fine after a day of yelling at my brain.

    I feel like I am doing the same thing to myself now – there is no explanation for why this is happening from a medical point of view. – so I am determined not to go back and repeat the exact same operation for a third time in three weeks. I am yelling at myself and trying to work through it.

    I am under a lot of stress and have had a lot of floating TMS issues the last two months– first some sinusitis I stopped in its tracks after three days, some sores in my nose I talked myself out of, and a brief return of my ankle issues. All disappeared within a couple days. And now this.

    I am aware of why I have stress (money, unending work responsibilities, plus stress navigating the NYC schools for my daughter). And this series of toe related incidents have done a great job distracting me… I am very distracted. And yet I am done. Done with this.

    Anyway, any comments will be appreciated, Maybe I just needed to vent. Many thanks.
     
  2. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, SuperKev. Your toe and ankle pain is there because you have been under a lot of stress.
    I am a freelance writer so I know what uncertain income is like, as the bills pile up.
    Learning that financial worries are often a cause of TMS pain, I can live with it better.

    Another operation won't be the answer for you. TMS is. Discovering your repressed emotions,
    most likely anger, that you have tried not to think about but that probably came from your childhood.

    Journaling about my boyhood was the main technique that healed me. I discovered I was holding
    a lot of anger inside me that stemmed from anxieties when I was a boy. Divorce in the family,
    always money problems.

    If you haven't started the Structured Education Program, free in one of the subforums at this web site,
    I strongly urge you to begin it. It lead me to become free of severe back pain, as it has helped
    thousands of others.

    Good luck and be assured that if you believe 100 percent in TMS healing, you will heal.
     
  3. SuperKev

    SuperKev New Member

    Hi, Walt. Thanks so much -- just the support I needed. I always go through the same set of emotions when something physical goes wrong (I bet most on these forums do)... Pain, fear, confusion, hopelessness. Then I recognize I need a little distraction and this is TMS related. But at first I may not be 100% convinced and i give in. . Then i get pissed and.or inspired and work through it. Thsi current situation freaks me out because it is a post op swelling (minor surgery mind you -- very minor -- but still involving some slicing and dicing). And the fact that the nail bed swells over the cut nail makes me wonder if i can de-swell it through good TMS practice or if only a doc can take care of it. But I am going forward fighting my fear and hopelessness. It has been a perfect distraction, forcing me to stay home from work while I recover --- I needed something to slow me down. Also had a great talk with my wife this morning working through some of this instead of letting it all eat me up inside. Sigh. Anyway, Walt, thanks for the response. Nice dog!
     
  4. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    SuperKev, Your story echoes mine…decades of crap. I just wanted to chime in that I have personally seen TMS manifest as swelling. I remember once, my hubby giving me a back rub and I ended up with swelling the size of a baseball over my shoulder blade.

    Also, my Achilles tendons will swell and tighten. That's been my toughest TMS symptom to date…probably because the fear factor of it has been high. (I was afraid of it rupturing.) Anyhoo. I asked Dr. Schubiner about it and he assured me that it wouldn't rupture. He has seen it swollen Achilles before and it would heal.

    I can't remember exactly where, but I know I've read in more than once place that TMS can definitely cause swelling. So on that note, I would just amen what Walt said and skip another Dr. visit.

    The variety of TMS symptoms never ceases to amaze me! Good luck!
     

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