Need to unpick this muddle

[billiewells]

Hi everyone,
I haven't been on here for a while and can't wait to be in a position to actually support others rather than keep coming back for reassurance - it all feels rather selfish.

I am chipping away at my TMS recovery, but for each gain I make, my mind and my body seem to fight back in spades. I am having therapy from one of Alan Gordon's guys and it is useful, but I am continually bombarded with fears that I am not dealing with TMS at all. I understand that this is part of the journey, but I am exhausted by the continual self-talk that clouds my day and the slow progress.

I want to scream out that I am doing everything possible to aid my recovery and am becoming impatient for more progress. I want my life back, I want to walk my dog, in fact I would like to just walk me and end this half-life that I am living and have been living for 3 years.

I understand that this impatience is counter-productive and against the whole notion of 'Outcome Independence', but accepting these circumstances is impossible.

As I said I have had small improvements, but they are small and the pins and needles that course through my hands and legs now are dragging me down. I have partial dropfoot and the foot that is the problem is red and swollen and this becomes a real focus for my worry.

I do understand the premise that I should carry on regardless, but lifting a leg with each step requires concentration as with every chore, otherwise I will fall over.

I apologize for the length of this post and particularly the lack of central question but am looking for any nuggets of advice from anyone who has had pins and needles, dropfoot and balance issues. I have had enough of this and dont want anymore of my life to be swallowed up with this. I want to walk. x

 

[ashoo79]

can you please tell your story exactly how it started?. I have almost same symptoms but in my leg and i have been told its Sciatica.

 

[billiewells]

Golly it would take ages but I will give you bare bones of it. Had apparent slipped disc 12 years ago. Four years ago I had labyrinthitis, a virus that affects your balance. My gait was affected, I started walking oddly, my right knee kept giving way. Went to physio, osteo etc etc etc made no progress with exercises. Was going through intense emotional time, lots of work, personal and emotional pressures. Found TMS, made sense. Have swollen right foot and problem scuffing it, poor dorsiflexion. Had history of agoraphobia & panic attacks, all anxiety symptoms are now over the top. Live on own, walking v poor currently pins n needles in fingers and toes and balance poor. Full of fear, which I am trying to address.

As brief as I can make it

Are you in UK?