Hi, I'm having a real hard time with my inner bully right now because I'm trying to lose some weight. Not because I want to look better. Honestly, I'm fine with how I look, but my BP and cholesterol are too high and my doctor wants me to loose about 20 lbs to see if it will help both. Mainly, I'm pissed that I need to lose this weight, because like I said, I'm really ok with how I look. I'm mad at my body for having high BP and cholesterol and I've kind of been in rebellion mode about the whole situation. But then my inner bully starts saying, "You're just lazy, you just don't want to work that hard." I try to talk back to it, but I guess that deep down inside there's a part of me that believes it. I know this harks back to my childhood because my mother is a perfectionist and the greatest sin in her eyes is laziness. Anytime I resisted doing a chore as a kid my mom would say, "You're just lazy." Mom loves me, I know that. She was and is a good mother. Saying I was abused would be a big fat lie, but this one thing has always laid between us. She pushes herself hard all the time and has no patience with people who don't push hard too. I also know that she is this way because her mother was the same way except not as nice as my mom. My grandmother was a very unhappy person and made everyone else around her unhappy too. Anyway, how do you talk to your inner bully when it's trying to push you to do something you NEED to do? I need to motivate myself in a gentle, loving way to do this, but I'm having a hard time coming up with a way.