Need to Learn Visualization

[SusieQ]

I'm rather new to the Forum, but have been reading for quite some time and appreciate all the helpful tips in overcoming TMS. I have a TMS trained physician and have seen a TMS trained psychologist. I have no doubt my pain emanates from TMS. I am 52 years old and basically a cripple - I walk with a cane to support my weight and balance my steps. I seem to have hit a roadblock after some minor successes. I've read all Dr. Sarno's books and am currently devouring Steven Ozanich's "Great Pain Deception". I see myself on every page. I am a Stage IV cervical cancer survivor of 6 years. I recently completed a 12 week "LIVESTRONG" exercise (cancer support program) at my local YMCA. I made some positive strides forward, but was hindered by the limited mobility in both hips and legs. It's as if the joints in that region of my body "ceased up". I know I won't give up, but I am exhausted! I have to nap in the middle of the day. I have no ability to enjoy activities with my 3 teenagers - socially I'm so self-conscience - my world has become so small - it's depressing. I titled this post "visualization" because I feel that next step will bring me closer to peace - I am a painter, but my creativity is blocked by this pain. I'm happy when I have a paintbrush in my hand and can transform a blank canvas! Everyone tells me "oh, get back to painting, you'll be so happy" - well, you just can't turn on the creativity! Any suggestions from any forum members would be so appreciated! Thank you!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

I'm a writer, so I know what pushing into creativity is all about. We can't be creative all the time. I've had "writers block" but never for long. I am a former Chicago Tribune reporter and feature writer, freelancing fulltime for the past 40 years (I'm 84 now) and always am happiest when writing.
I write fiction and nonfiction in a lot of genres for adults, teens, and preteens. My blob is at www.walteroleksybooks.com.

Try to paint every day. Don't think it depresses you or gives you pain. Think about painting as being joyful, which I am sure you do.

You ask about learning visualization. I am going to think about that for a while and get back to you. Offhand, I can say I don't have that problem.
I visualize being with someone I love or at a place that relaxes me. My favorite is remembering wilderness canoe trips I was on years ago along
the Minnesota-Ontario border lakes country.

There must be great joy in transforming a blank canvas into a painting. Consider myself very fortunate to have such talent.

Back to you in a few minutes about visualization.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

I wrote a book about healing from TMS emotional pain, called
GOD DOES NOT WANT YOU TO BE IN PAIN,
which I co-authored with another TMSer from this TMSWiki web site, Eric Watson.

We wrote a lot about visualization as an aid in TMS healing.

A little from those sections:

"t is important to practice visualization with your meditation added to your belief in TMS causing pain.

Skill is needed to attain and hold a healing, so the sooner you learn to affirm and visualize while in
meditation, the better. One of my favorite skills is affirmations mixed with meditation and imaging or
visualization.

Start off with 15 or 20 minutes a day with the affirmation "I forgive and let go easily. It helps to
forgive myself and others." Repeat that three times.

After feeling forgiveness releasing tension from your body, then say, "I'm calm, relaxed, patient,
and confident." This helps you to calm down your inner tensions. Say that three times.

Then count from 10 to 1 into a relaxed, calm meditation. Wait and feel the relaxation of your
voice command as it moves through your body to each number.

At ten say "My mind is relaxed. At nine, "My head is relaxed." At eight, "My face is relaxed."
At seven, "My neck is relaxed." All the way down to one, "My toes are relaxed."

Also, while meditating, visualize yourself being immersed in a white light that is covering
you with calmness. A complete healing light can flow through your body and let any
excess tension flow away."

There is a lot more in our book about visualization and other techniques of TMS healing.
It's available in paperback and Kindle at amazon.smile.com

Good luck in your TMS healing. It will come.

 

[Forest]

Visualization sounds like a great idea and I think you are brilliant to not let the symptoms shrink your world.

Ace talks about visualization in his 10th key to healing:
http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/key-to-healing.3577/

You might want to read them all. I've heard from many people that the Keys To Healing really helped them. I'd start at the beginning.

Key 12 may also help with how to think about painting. The key is to let your brain know, as much as you can, that the pain is nothing to you. That is so incredibly hard to do, but it gets easier with time. The keys to healing can help if applied systematically.

Congratulations on six years of cancer survivorship! Would it be prying to ask what sort of treatments you used for the cancer? (I.e. was it chemo, radiation, etc?). Feel free to ignore the question if you'd rather keep it to yourself, though.

 

[SusieQ]

Thank you for your reply Forest - I will certainly read Ace's thread on visualization this evening. It's been a particularly difficult weekend with pain - I was unable to watch my youngest daughters last soccer game of the season - I simply could not lift my legs out of my car and was terrified of walking ALL the way out to the turf field. I know she was disappointed, but she emphatically did NOT want me walking with my cane! I share custody of our children, so every other weekend they are with me - the weekends we are together - ARE STRESSFUL, the weekends they are not with me - I don't leave my house! Vicious cycle!
(I don't mind speaking about the cancer at all - I was treated at Sloan-Kettering in NYC - 3 months of radiation, chemotherapy and 5 Brachytherapy surgeries (shooting radioactive seeds into the tumor); unfortunately it metastasized into lymph nodes in my abdomen - which required a major 'zipper' surgical removal; 3 bouts of MRSA later, the scans of the cervical and abdominal region were clear, but it had travelled north into my thoracic region, which required another long round of traditional chemotherapy cocktails! the divorce was in process during this time!)

 

[SusieQ]

Thank you Walt! Painting every day isn't coming just yet - I procrastinate so much in my every day activities! I have no follow-through. No motivation.
I go from my bed - to a chair - back to my bed - it's no way to live! I have 3 children and all they see is their Mother lying in bed or napping! I only sleep 2-3 hours at night, then wake, read, try and go back to sleep. I wear a CPAP mask, so sleep should come easily - but the pain has intensified recently and wakes me (then I need to rush to the bathroom - but I certainly can't 'rush' anything - I actually shuffle with my cane to the bathroom)
Such a vicious cycle!