Need some tips on how to avoid rumination

I always get pain when driving home from work. One part of it is that afternoons were always making me feel low, if not depressed. At work I can usually keep myself busy and distracted, or if needed (triggered by some thoughts or events) I can usually find a quiet spot to process my emotions (even if it has to be in the bathroom). But when I drive home for ~ 40 min, no amount of distraction works, whether its listening to radio or music or recorded programs that interest me. My mind invariably wonders off to some troubling thoughts. I also get this anxious feeling of being trapped, nothing severe knowing I can always stop the car and get out, but because I must endure the journey to get home. And when I arrive I'm totally miserable and need long time to calm myself and manage the pain the best I can. And its a regular daily problem for me that doesn't shift.
I practice meditation and it helps me but driving is not a time when one can relax and focus all attention on ones feelings in a safe setting.

I wonder if anyone ever had similar problem and how they dealt with it? Thanks

 

Hi there Ollin, I also have a problem with rumination, only mine is when I awaken
in the am, ruines my whole day with pain in my back and legs. Eric (Herbie), made
some suggestions to me, wake up and visualize a good memory, keep your mind
focused on this. It is working for me pretty well, not always, I do see improvement
tho. I do know that thinking about the past is a waste of time but it's just a hard thing
to stop. You can with total concentration and then it becomes a new habit, and the old
is gone. I thank Eric for that!!!!! Nancy

 

Do you know what, I have been having exactly this rumination problem and I have realised that the distractions you mention above are all passive. In other words, you are just there receiving input a bit like a sponge soaking up water. They're all good distractions at times but I've recently discovered two others which are more active and really help,one of which at least you might try in the car while driving - I appreciate that you need to be aware of what you are doing while you are behind the wheel.
The first thing I see, I think of the word and try to spell it backwards. Try ten of those to break the unhelpful thought pattern.
Also, may sound daft, I take each colour of the rainbow in turn and have to spot a set number of things(usually three in my case)for that colour before I move onto the next until I've completed all the colours in order. I class indigo and violet as purple or I'd be there all day! I find both of these quick and helpful. I hope they help you.

 

I used to be a big ruminator and have mostly broken myself of the habit--and I think it is a habit. The first step you have already accomplished, which is the awareness that you are ruminating and that it is useless at best, and most likely harmful. I, like Solange, found that passive activities didn't stop the ruminating. My worst time for engaging in the behavior is when I lie down to sleep. So I have to use my mind in an active way. What I do is shift my attention to a neutral project that requires some imagination and creativity. For example, I imagine redecorating my house room by room and step by step. This exercise broke the habit and I seldom ruminate anymore.

 

I'm definitely a ruminator! And I agree it is a habit, a very bad habit! Passive activities don't help me either because I'm a great multi-tasker! I can ruminate while doing most anything, except when I am being mindful, which takes a lot of practice! It's probably the hardest thing to do especially when you are in pain!

Driving is a difficult situation, but I would suggest setting aside other times of your day to mindfully meditate. During your workday, maybe you could spend 20 minutes at lunch and perhaps 20 minutes before you drive home. Breaking the habit at other times when you can focus better might help you do better on your drive. I wouldn't expect immediate results, but after some practice I bet you'll see some progress!

 

Me, too, I ruminate a lot. My place for rumination is in the shower. I tend to start thinking about various challenges I am facing or things that I am worried about or frustrated about. It sucks me in because it feels productive at first, but I know that the repetition is no good.

 

Rumination is, I think, only natural. If we're in pain our minds want to go there and figure out why.
Driving home can be very boring... the same route, the same expressway or city streets.
It isn't enough to watch out for the other motorists who may be on their cell phones or text-messaging.
Maye they do those things to try forget their pain or why they're having it.

I used to hate my job at a big insurance company that was a half-hour drive farther into the suburbs.
Some mornings while I drove there, I ruminated on how much I hated the company and the bosses
that I turned around and drove home and called in sick. Sometimes I drove almost to the entrance of
the company grounds and turned around and drove back home. I knew I should quit but job security kept me
there until after three years I finally quit. I didn't find another job right away so I began freelance writing.
That was 40 year ago and I'm still at it and love it.

But driving home from work was never a problem for me. Driving to work was.
Home was a place I was in control. Work wasn't.

But also, driving used to be kind of fun. It isn't anymore. Too much traffic, too many crazies on the roads.

While driving, to take my mind off of work and pain stressors, I suggest deep breathing and repeating a
mantra. My favorite it "Every day in every way I'm getting better and better." It's an old one but works for me.

 

Hi Nancy

I can also relate to ruminations in the morning. I'm going through a stressful time with a personal relationship issue and regularly wake up at 5am, which echoes with my past similar experiences and various thoughts and sad feelings come to me. Although one morning after I woke up a useful though came to me, which directly pointed to an early childhood experience that caused my lifelong relationship struggles, and probably my TMS symptoms. I believe that our first thoughts upon awakening are well tuned into what emotionally goes on in our lives that needs our attention, so the trick is to use this information to our advantage (healing), rather than useless ruminations, which isn't easy to do when I'm trying to catch more sleep, but the thoughts don't really let me, and laying half-asleep, getting angry at myself for being bothered by my thoughts, getting tense physically...
Fortunately once I'm up and moving the pain subsides (being physical always helps with my symptoms), then focusing on work helps me avoid painful thoughts for a while too.
Yes, thinking about the past seems natural, as we instinctly try to predict our future based on our histories. What helps me keep positive is recognizing that I'm making some progress with self-development, and learning from my past mistakes.

 

Solange, you're absolutely right, passive distractions are less successful because they let "stuff" to leak in. Your suggestions sound great, because they're neutral, i.e. unlikely to trigger any negative thoughts about my life events.
Thank you

 

Hi Forest. That's a good question. The way I see it in this case is that as my mood drops in the afternoon (not sure why, but it's been a long-term pattern for me, I tried to identify a triggering past event without success) I tend to get more pain. So when I first become aware of it I turn my attention to my thoughts hoping to identify which could have caused emotional reaction and the pain. Usually I catch myself having thought about something unpleasant, if not, I ask myself how do I feel about the pain. And the answer is "self-pity and self-directed disappointment". Then I ask "what else in my life makes me feel this way?" And it's never difficult to answer that. So I start thinking about the issue on and off, while distracting myself with work or other stuff going on. But the pain always lingers there. Until I get in the car and no longer can avoid the thoughts unless I keep actively thinking about work, which usually I'm too tired of at that stage. And then I notice more pain, try to reposition my body somehow to get more comfortable, but I can't really when sitting in the car, so I get cranky at the situation I'm in (unable to move freely), and it goes on and on. An insight from this: anger related to feeling trapped. I often wonder: did the pain start my negative thoughts or the other way round? Or was it my afternoon slump (feeling) that started both? Probably most in-line with Sarno's teachings. Or is it possible that I'm repressing my feelings by distracting myself and that makes the pain worse?

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Yes, anxiety definitely. The reason for my rumination is probably trying to find solution to a problem. As unproductive as it often is, sometimes thinking about a troubling issue helps us sort it out. I guess I need to identify when the unproductive phase begins and let it go. Just as you say, recognize and stop it if it's pointless. That's why I need to think/do something positive or otherwise fun to occupy my mind when driving.​

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Thanks for the quotes, analysis and suggestions. I noticed many times that alcohol in the evening helps my mind-body to relax. Currently I'm going through a stressful time so I gave up drinking as it makes me more depressed. I think after years of searching I finally connected the dots and have an idea about what is at the root of my troubles, so I'm planning to explore it, but it's a complex problem. Though if it was simple I would have sorted it long ago before getting TMS symptoms...​

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Thanks everyone for your replies and sharing. I'll try to implement some active distractions. Deep breathing with a mantra sounds also like a great idea, it can focus the driver on present moment and ease anxiety. I tried driving mindfulness meditation, but I'm not too good at that, probably because the drive is boring... Actually the route is extremely spectacular, so I can't believe I said that . Even having done it hundreds of times I still notice the unique beauty of the landscape. Anyway, I think it's the mindfulness part that I find challenging.