Need some reassurance and guidance

[unknownnicole]

In September of 2018, I was diagnosed with a "shallow" disc bulge. I do have an understanding that Sarno completely believes that bulges/hernations are not the cause for pain. It developed into sciatica in my right leg, and then in March of this year it moved into my left leg. And like everyone else, I've tried EVERYTHING (besides surgery obviously) and nothing has worked.

I feel like right now fear is just completely ruling my life. I'm off of work because the pain makes me scared to be on my feet for hours (retail work), and I haven't been getting out much. I feel like a shell of who I once was.

One of my main fears seems to be quite similar to those first starting out, that maybe it isn't TMS and this won't work for me. I've read Healing Back Pain, and one of my main concerns for this work not being right for me is Sarno's quote "sciatic pain may affect any part of the leg except the upper, front thigh." When I frist read this it really threw me, within the last 2 months I've developed tingling and pain in the front of my thigh varying from the upper, mid and lower. This also makes me scared that I don't "qualify", I suppose.

So I'm looking for some guidance around that quote, and also in my next steps. I'm currently reading Steve Ozanich's book, but I find it really dense and a bit full on for me. So I decided to put it down for a bit and swap it for Nicole Sach's book, which is going down a lotter easier. Do I continue to just research and learn? Or is it time to move onto journalling and meditation? Any advice is always appreciated.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi unknownnicole,

I think you started the SEP, right? I would continue to stick with that, as part of your work with TMS.

In addition, if you have more time, yes, read what resonates with you, and apply it deeply to your life, personalize it. There are many authors, and you're doing the right thing to find what touches you. This is a natural part of the process.

I've read Healing Back Pain, and one of my main concerns for this work not being right for me is Sarno's quote "sciatic pain may affect any part of the leg except the upper, front thigh." When I frist read this it really threw me, within the last 2 months I've developed tingling and pain in the front of my thigh varying from the upper, mid and lower. This also makes me scared that I don't "qualify", I suppose.

Healing Back Pain , as good as it is, was not Dr. Sarno's latest thoughts on the subject. The Divided Mind is.

I always say: "go deep into the reading, ask yourself questions, look for answers, and let go of anything which challenges your growing confidence, including from authors." Each person finds their own way out. That is part of the process.

In your case, you've not been examined by a TMS physician, or Dr. Sarno, correct? So I recommend letting go of this particular piece. Dr. Sarno suggests we're examined by a physician trained by him to find particular sensitive places in the body, to confirm the diagnosis. Yet, thousands, probably 10's of thousands of people have gotten better without ever having this confirmation. Treat your doubts like TMS. It is a fear-activation pattern, nothing more.

Remember that Dr. Sarno said that TMS can cause pain in any tissue/place in the body. I'd stick with this.

Andy B

 

[Andy Bayliss]

I feel like a shell of who I once was.

I am sorry about this. Keep at the SEP, try to find as many ways as possible to connect with people, do meaningful things, get out, find soothing, pleasure, happiness, even with very small things. Let your heart be happy and restful, as best you can. This is very important.

Most who have succeeded have also been where you are. I was too. Too afraid of pain to go meet a friend for coffee, or even walk out to a sunny rock and have a cup of tea. Don't let yourself believe this is true.

 

[Free of Fear]

I second Andy. I was there too. I see a lot of myself in your post, as I was off of work for about six months, really afraid of injuring myself further.

I always recommend Claire Weekes books and audio files. More than any other resource, she helped me confront the fear on a daily basis. She helped me to develop courage, which has made my life better than it was before (one of the many ways TMS can be turned into a gift).

Feel free to PM if you want to talk more.