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Need some help.. please

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Christian95, Dec 3, 2013.

  1. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    The haircutting and shampooing must have given you anxiety because you were sitting there
    in the beauty parlor and may have felt trapped. I grew up knowing what that was like.

    A great friend came into my life and said some words that I live by: "I can do this. It's a piece of cake."
    That is my favorite mantra and I use it silently whenever I am in a stressful situation.

    I bet your hair looks great. That was always so important to my mother, in how she looked and felt.
    Gigalos likes this.
  2. Christian95

    Christian95 Peer Supporter

    Waow thank you everyone for your replies.
    I havent been online for some days beacuse i have been stressed with school and stuff, i also just had my grades, and they are much worse than last year at this time :/
    But thank you so much for your replies. It really helps, i will print them out so i can read them at all times :)
    I have found out that my pain and fear for the pain is much more worse when im home on weekends and holidays than when im in school and has something to do all day.
    I am not so good at journaling as i should be :/ But everytime i think about it, i cant really concentrate about it, but i will try harder from now on.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  3. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    Christian, don't worry about being good at journaling. Maybe, a good idea is to take three times a week and pick a time in a quiet
    place and start journaling. Make a list of pressures that bother you presently, things your concerned with in your future, and things
    that trouble you from your childhood and you can add personality traits on that list. Then pick one thing to write about. At first,
    you may not feel you are going deep enough or if you are doing it right. The key is just to do it. Try not to add any pressure to your-
    self and be consistent.

    Let us know how it goes.

    I am a college professor and I just want to tell you in the long run grades don't mean very much unless you are going to Law
    School or Medical School. What matters I think these days is to get experience in your field. I know my son had not good grades
    but tried to get a lot of experience in his field. It was that experience that got him the job after graduation. Grades don't always
    reveal the intelligence of a student. I hope that encourages you.

    It always great hearing from you.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  4. Christian95

    Christian95 Peer Supporter

    Hello :)
    Thank you for the answers everyone, it is helping me very much.
    A sad thing happend today though, i looked to the right, and something happend to my neck, so now i have so much pain in my neck, i actually cant look to the right at the moment :/ I hope its also TMS, and im pretty sure it is.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  5. Gigalos

    Gigalos Beloved Grand Eagle

    Ah.... the neck.... very common TMS symptom.... It is just a spasmed muscle in your upper back, caused by inner tension. Believe me, I have been there. Hope this helps you become even more convinced it is your mind that is causing this.

    One exercise you could do is this: sit straight on a chair, close your eyes and start focussing on the air flowing in and out of your nose. Let any worries or contemplations float by, don't feed them by starting an inner conversation. Don't be annoyed if you find yourself doing it anyway, just return to focussing on your breathing. After a couple of minutes (or more if your mind is really busy trying to distract you :) ), ask yourself how you are feeling. Feelings of fear, anger or sadness may come up, just invite them in when they do. Accept them, feel them, maybe even shed a tear when you feel like it. And when it starts to die down, think of something that truly makes you happy. Take a couple of breaths, open your eyes and continue your day...

    take care
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2014
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  6. Christian95

    Christian95 Peer Supporter

    Thanks for the advice :) It really helps.
    Lately i have been extremly stressed with school, with exams coming soon, and i also found a girl that i like, so its perfect timing bangheada
    But beacuse of the stress from school i have had much neck/shoulder pain, arm/hand/finger pain from sitting at the computer, back pain as always, and headache, but funny enough i almost never have them at the same time, if my neck or shoulder hurts, it dosnt hurt anywhere else, then my back hurts for 10 minutes, and after that its my arm, so i hope its TMS. Beacuse i just cant seem to get away from the scary thought of never being healthy and pain free again, im afraid that i will start having pain everywhere and then never be able to work and get a job.. thats really my fear.

    -Christian :)
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  7. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yep, that fear that your very conscious of now, just loose it and know that theirs no way, if you don't fear it -- that it can happen to you ok. Always know that your mind will waver and send you thoughts of pain and defeat.
    The mind by your will and on purpose will also always send you thoughts of hope and how you will win any part in your life too.
    So here you just be aware of when the thought first starts and know that its the focus on the negative thought -- thought about over and over that gives you in to stress so all you have to do is take your map of the world, that works perfect and replace those bad fear thoughts with thoughts of wining and being in the winners circle.

    If you need advice on how to do all of that then just go to . tmswiki.org/search and look up Claire Weekes and Eugene Gendlin also look up Abraham Low. You will learn a lot from those giants shoulders and smile, the more you smile the better you feel. The better you feel the more you want to get out and do things. The more you want to do things like exercise and walking. The more you exercise and walk then the more healthy you get and the better you begin to feel and the circle goes on.
    Bless you
  8. debbi1955

    debbi1955 Peer Supporter

    I was about your age when I first experienced back pain. I was diagnosed and told by a doctor that I'd be in a wheelchair in 10 years. I was good at math, but girls were discouraged from studying math back then, so I decided to major in English, then changed to psychology, but I always really wanted to major in math. I recall feeling the stress from the indecision and the pain and, looking back at my young self from 30 years later, I'm amazed that I didn't roll into a ball and give up. Really, I remember my state of mind and I don't know how I kept going. I ended up achieving the job and life I wanted to. And here is the thing - I had the back pain the entire 30 years. I'm not trying to say look at me, look what I did - trust me, I was not brave, cheerful, or saintlike at all through any of it, my husband will attest to that. I'm sharing this because you are still in school in spite of the pain, and it makes me think of that girl 30 years ago, and you can still have the job and the girl you like - those things are not connected to the pain. And realizing that disconnection may help to vanquish the pain. It's so tricky - you have to give up the fear to make the pain go away, but it's so hard to do that when you still have the pain.

    I also want to say that I have relief from the pain now that I have learned about TMS and I believe in the principles of Dr. Sarno. Can you imagine - after 30 years, the pain is going away? I'm happy for you that you have learned about TMS at your age, because it's my heartfelt wish that you have the pain 30 years less than I did! And I believe you can.
  9. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Christian, cars and tennis, now we're talking. Are you still hitting the ball? What cars do you like? Had any good frikadeller lately?


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