Need some help on how to deal with sudden onset of pain:

[avik]

I posted about two days ago regarding sudden back pain that was actually the passing of a kidney stone.
A truly lovely experience!

That said, even though definitively not TMS/psychosomatic (had x rays done have two and one has passed), it (coincidentally?) initiated an onset of pain(s) that I haven't experienced in 5+ years and i'm a bit disheartened.

I am experiencing a very severe case of TMJ; clicking jaw, terrible join pain and problems chewing. I had this about 7 years ago, went through the dentist and jaw specialist nonsense, got the mouth guard, etc...and it ended up just leaving and transitioning into another symptom/TMS iteration.
Also having severe knee pain (right under my knew cap that is giving some real problems walking)..and the typical digestive problems that generally accompany most of my bouts with physical pains.

Am trying to stay positive here and know this is all TMS but its a lot to handle at once, considering I am still in the midst of dealing with another stone!

If anyone has any specific thought processes and/or methods for me to think about this TMJ thing, im all ears.

And yes, I have been EXTREMELY stressed as of late...and angry! I have been angry and frustrated with a lot of things, most surrounding the fact that I feel like I should be doing/accomplishing more in my life at this point and feel a bit lost as a result.

Thanks in advance for reading.

 

[MWsunin12]

Avik, You can get by the TMJ. I had it for 2 weeks this month. Tell your face to melt your muscles there. Just let the oxygen and blood back in.
Chew anyway. Before you go to sleep, tell yourself, "I'm going to sleep and the muscles are going to rest and tomorrow will be better."
As you said, you know it's TMS. So, remind yourself of that, even out loud. Say, "I am 100% convinced that this TMJ is TMS."

Go for it. You're good.

 

[riverrat]

How are you doing these days NWsunin12? It looks like from another post you had pelvic floor pain. Me too. Can you tell me there's hope in sight? I'm Having a harder day...

 

[BeWell]

[Deleted at BeWell's request]

 

[Ines]

I do the same thing with pressuring myself about accomplishments, finances etc.. I'm working hard to change my perception about that because it's doing me no good in my life anyway. Ease up on yourself. One quote that I found helpful went something like this " if you are truly present and know how to take care of the present moment as best you can, you are doing your best for the future already."

 

[MWsunin12]

How are you doing these days NWsunin12? It looks like from another post you had pelvic floor pain. Me too. Can you tell me there's hope in sight? I'm Having a harder day...

RiverRat, Think of this: When Sarno wrote his book, there were very, very few reports of pelvic pain, which is probably why he didn't mention it. Pelvic pain is the flavor of the medical month. Pelvic pain clinics are popping up right and left, which is a big money-maker and spreading the pelvic pain notion like wildfire. Like my own, your brain just decided to tense your body there for now. Let it melt away. Visualize it being soft and nothing at all to pay attention to. Then, stop paying attention to it.

Say out loud, "I am 100% convinced this pelvic pain is TMS." It is.
Women have pushed large babies through that area and not done damage or hurt their nerves. We aren't built that delicate.

Let yourself cry about your childhood, or current life, or frustrations. Do the journal work.
You can heal. I still feel twinges at times and I say "forget it." I tell myself "I am willing to look at this emotionally / psychologically. I am willing to not go into fear because nothing is really wrong."

And, then I thank God. Gratitude does change your outlook. Even if it's one or two simple things like a good McIntosh apple or an email from a friend.

 

[BeWell]

[Deleted at BeWell's request]

 

[BeWell]

[Deleted at BeWell's request]

 

[riverrat]

RiverRat, Think of this: When Sarno wrote his book, there were very, very few reports of pelvic pain, which is probably why he didn't mention it. Pelvic pain is the flavor of the medical month. Pelvic pain clinics are popping up right and left, which is a big money-maker and spreading the pelvic pain notion like wildfire. Like my own, your brain just decided to tense your body there for now. Let it melt away. Visualize it being soft and nothing at all to pay attention to. Then, stop paying attention to it.

Say out loud, "I am 100% convinced this pelvic pain is TMS." It is.
Women have pushed large babies through that area and not done damage or hurt their nerves. We aren't built that delicate.

Let yourself cry about your childhood, or current life, or frustrations. Do the journal work.
You can heal. I still feel twinges at times and I say "forget it." I tell myself "I am willing to look at this emotionally / psychologically. I am willing to not go into fear because nothing is really wrong."

And, then I thank God. Gratitude does change your outlook. Even if it's one or two simple things like a good McIntosh apple or an email from a friend.

Thank you so much for your encouragement! You're very kind and reassuring. And also very RIGHT!

Yeah you're exactly right about pushing babies out! I think that of that too - I had 3 large babies - the youngest is 14 and he was almost 10 pounds. I recivered beautifully back then.
This happened after a very stressful difficult and demanding time. Nothing physical occurred. So why would the pudendal nerve be damaged? Makes no sense. And I know that on a rational level and totally get it. But can't free my mind of this crotch tightness and pain.

I know conditioning is a big part- Intercourse isn't usually very painful, but I fear it- so I always hurt worse later for some time. I fear it because of crappy reading I've done from other people that it hurts I guess. And the being able to only wear comfy pants thing and no jeans thing. Annoying! Did you struggle with those things?

I just wish it move to another location or something! My back pain and tailbone pain is mostly all gone now. Why does the worst pain continue? Ugh...

 

[MWsunin12]

Thank you so much for your encouragement! You're very kind and reassuring. And also very RIGHT!

Yeah you're exactly right about pushing babies out! I think that of that too - I had 3 large babies - the youngest is 14 and he was almost 10 pounds. I recivered beautifully back then.
This happened after a very stressful difficult and demanding time. Nothing physical occurred. So why would the pudendal nerve be damaged? Makes no sense. And I know that on a rational level and totally get it. But can't free my mind of this crotch tightness and pain.

I know conditioning is a big part- Intercourse isn't usually very painful, but I fear it- so I always hurt worse later for some time. I fear it because of crappy reading I've done from other people that it hurts I guess. And the being able to only wear comfy pants thing and no jeans thing. Annoying! Did you struggle with those things?

I just wish it move to another location or something! My back pain and tailbone pain is mostly all gone now. Why does the worst pain continue? Ugh...

Don't read about it or compare symptoms anymore. Yes, I did the same thing…and sure enough I would feel that symptom soon after. I think that when we are stressed our minds/brains are very suggestible. So, don't look at posts about it anymore.

Your nerve isn't entrapped or damaged, you're just holding tension there. Wearing jeans is fine. Do it, anyway. It doesn't really hurt more…your nervous system is sending signals like it does, but it doesn't. I don't know what to tell you about the sex aspect, except that you should ask yourself "What does my body want me to know psychologically? What's the message for me in the pain following sex? Am I hiding how I truly feel? Do I feel burdened or disrespected? (these are just sample questions and not really pointed at you, especially since I don't know you at all) For myself, I had taken on a writing project that was burdensome, so my body held the tension where I couldn't sit down to write. I had to admit that I dreaded the work, but I felt guilt about it because it was income and work.

If you've raised 3 kids, you already deserve a heap of praise and to feel good about yourself. Wishing you well.

 

[riverrat]

Don't read about it or compare symptoms anymore. Yes, I did the same thing…and sure enough I would feel that symptom soon after. I think that when we are stressed our minds/brains are very suggestible. So, don't look at posts about it anymore.

Your nerve isn't entrapped or damaged, you're just holding tension there. Wearing jeans is fine. Do it, anyway. It doesn't really hurt more…your nervous system is sending signals like it does, but it doesn't. I don't know what to tell you about the sex aspect, except that you should ask yourself "What does my body want me to know psychologically? What's the message for me in the pain following sex? Am I hiding how I truly feel? Do I feel burdened or disrespected? (these are just sample questions and not really pointed at you, especially since I don't know you at all) For myself, I had taken on a writing project that was burdensome, so my body held the tension where I couldn't sit down to write. I had to admit that I dreaded the work, but I felt guilt about it because it was income and work.

If you've raised 3 kids, you already deserve a heap of praise and to feel good about yourself. Wishing you well.

Thsnk you so much for replying! I just am so exhausted from daily pain. Better, then worse, better, then a setback...
I hate this pain - I just need this to leave!!! I wish I didn't feel like I need to understand why it's here so much - like the reason. Wish I could just trust it's going to go away , but it's just uncomfortable controlling pain, I can't do a thing without thinking of it. I keep living life, I sit a long time, I stand a long time, I go to all the kids stuff, I work, full time, I clean my house,I keep just doing life things through the pain, helping my mom, why won't it go...though I do feel much stress from crap that I keep dealing with and I know it comes with strong emotions....
Thank you for understanding!

 

[MWsunin12]

Thsnk you so much for replying! I just am so exhausted from daily pain. Better, then worse, better, then a setback...
I hate this pain - I just need this to leave!!! I wish I didn't feel like I need to understand why it's here so much - like the reason. Wish I could just trust it's going to go away , but it's just uncomfortable controlling pain, I can't do a thing without thinking of it. I keep living life, I sit a long time, I stand a long time, I go to all the kids stuff, I work, full time, I clean my house,I keep just doing life things through the pain, helping my mom, why won't it go...though I do feel much stress from crap that I keep dealing with and I know it comes with strong emotions....
Thank you for understanding!

After reading your list of what you do for others and just maintaining the house, etc., it seems to me like your body is asking you to pay attention to you. Seems like your kids are old enough to understand if you don't want to attend a few of their events. Can you drop them off, go sit in a Barnes and Noble, have a coffee and read a funny book and then go back to pick them up after the event? I found for me that when the pain got to be so much that I couldn't sleep, that I was forced to deal with my emotions. It was not a good point to get to. You deserve some time to yourself. You may not have to process the "why" it's here. I think you already know why. You have no time to be an individual. Go for it, RiverRat. No one will die if you take a personal day or two.

 

[riverrat]

You're very right. I have been overloaded the last several years. Being guardian for my terminally ill 53 year old alcoholic brother ( i gave up guardianship of him in April - I couldn't take it anymore - his grown kids did nothing to help me- grr),
my dad and sister dying, family drama, My mom was diagnosed with congestive heart failure last February ( that scared me), my other siblings do not help my h with my mom And it makes me so angry, now in the middle of a legal mess of harrassment from my my mom's neighbor. He's a jerk to her! Police have been good to us though and said to get a restraining order ( filed for that Wednesday night), but he's going to contest it and take us to court. But we have lots of witnesses to testify, the stress of 3 teenagers, there just always stuff. I try to take on less which is why I turned over guardianship of my alcoholic brother and he lives in a nursing home now, but there's so many emotions that came with this situation. Thus is when the pelvic Pain came back and stuck. I have journaled a d journalwd about my anger, fear, and guilt, but still get these setback have like this week...