Need help understanding program

[Wings313]

I'm on day 27 I think of the program (I haven't done it in a few days or so). I think the journaling has helped, and I've gained insight and awareness into a lot of my issues. My symptoms are not pain-related, but frequent urination, which I know is mentioned in Sarno's books and Schubiner also talks about it. In fact, it (the urination issues) went away pretty much entirely during the month of March, and then came back in April. I have been to two urologists who both said it sounded like nothing, and more in my head...I question that response though because I was careful to let them know how much anxiety I have and that I believed my problem was psychosomatic...so did they just tell me it wasn't anything because that's how I presented it?? (witness my over-active, obsessive mind).

Anyway, so I think I have identified the causes of my unconscious rage - mainly self-imposed and life pressures, plus personality. What now? How does just knowing about that make your symptoms go away? I guess that's where I'm stuck. I am seeing a counselor, but not one that knows about TMS. I find that I still do some "accommodation" behaviors with my symptoms, like certain ways of sitting or walking. And I'm thinking about it constantly ("do I have to pee right now?" "am I going to have to pee when I get up from this chair?" Etc). The fear cycle is definitely in force, plus the calendar phenomenon.

I've seen on here also how it's important to "just not care" about your symptoms, and I agree. But how - practically speaking - do you not care and not think about something you've been totally obsessing over? With my particular symptom, there's the added issue being that it's a natural bodily function, so I have to obsess over if I should actually pee at the slightest urge, should I hold it, etc.

I also think part of me doesn't totally accept the TMS diagnosis.
THANKS!

 

[Lori]

Annoying isn't it!!! Here is when I have frequent urination issues: about to get on a plane I have to go about 3 times while waiting to board. Why? I will be in the window seat and don't want to ask 2 people next to me to move. Yep, ridiculous, right? Yet still happens. Someday it won't.

Now, interesting thing is if I'm distracted it does not affect me. Recently all day on an island tour. No bathrooms convenient at any of our stops. Did not have to go more than once even though I drank a lot of water (ok, and rum punch). So there again is proof to me that my frequent urges are anxiety-related. I was enjoying my day and taking in the freshly-picked fruit, beautiful water and beach, etc. and not thinking about anything in particular but enjoying myself.

I know when I feel the urge and it's frequent to check where I'm having anxiety! I know this is the cause for me and likely is for others as well. But as you said, you need to believe it!

I don't see the point in holding it in (you asked).

 

[Stella]

I have had and still may have frequent urination issues. I talk to my bladder because when I feel the urge I know I don't really need to go. I have to keep up my journaling to stay in touch with my mind to identify what is happening around me to give me that need My Mother's face may be drooping in unhappiness with me..... her disappointment sends me into tail spin..... but journaling helps me to understand how my thoughts are driving my symptoms. Anyone's disappointment in me causes depression or pain or urination pressure but I now have the tools to identify what is happening.

You can do this too. Be patient and it takes time. Read another TMS book then read again.

 

[gailnyc]

I've seen on here also how it's important to "just not care" about your symptoms, and I agree. But how - practically speaking - do you not care and not think about something you've been totally obsessing over?

this is the hard part, right?
When you realize you are obsessing or "checking in" with your body and physical symptom, gently move your mind away from it. Think about some emotional thing you're going through, something from your TMS list, or just focus on another part of the body.

I find this really difficult but as I practice and get better my pain diminishes. So I think it's worth working at.

 

[Wings313]

Thanks everyone. Lori, I definitely have that situational urination frequency at times...I remember when I was younger, I would always need to pee right before soccer games I was playing in. Nerves I guess. This is similar but it's like all the time. Yes, very annoying.

Stella, I can totally relate to you on the disappointment thing. I feel awful if I think I've disappointed people, and my parents are the worst. I do need to keep bringing it back to the psychological. Sometimes it's hard to identify a trigger when it's all the time, you know? But I'm still at the stage where I feel anxious/bad pretty much all the time. I'm always trying to people-please, worried what people think of me, etc.

Gail, thanks for the advice. So hard to do, but so important. I think (and I'm not the first to say this) that one of the hardest parts is worrying about if it will never go away. When you try to not obsess on it, the thought of "this will be here forever" definitely gets in the way.

 

[BruceMC]

I do know from personal experience that before you do anything dangerous - parachute jump from a plane, attack a pill box, climb a rock face - there is an overwhelming urge to urinate a couple of times first. I gather some biochemical is released that makes this happen. This must be part of (or occur in conjunction with) the fight/flight/freeze response, so it stands to reason that if you have a lot of free-floating anxiety or repressed emotionality that it would trigger the urge to urinate too, just to make sure you weren't weighed down when you needed to be ready for action. I know that animals before they're slaughtered will urinate involuntarily. Same thing happens to humans in combat, they become so afraid that they wet their pants. Frequent urination often occurs in conjunction with lower back pain, so it sounds likely that the same stress pattern that is causing lower lumbar pain is also causing frequent urination. Both sets of symptoms must be part of TMS.

 

[Wings313]

Bruce - thanks, that helps!

 

[Wings313]

Just want to touch back to all my old posts because it's always nice to hear how things worked out. I am doing MUCH better. My urinary stuff was and is completely TMS/mind-body stuff. I am convinced of that. Not even physical therapy helped. What I've found helped the most is not fearing the symptom, and not changing anything physically because of the symptom (I would walk differently, clench, cut out foods/drink, etc...but now I try not to). Take away the power of the symptom by not being afraid of it! Tell yourself - oh well, even if I have this symptom forever, it's going to be okay, it won't ruin my life, etc. Even the typical TMS/Freudian anger work didn't really help, although it can be a good exercise to do. For me it's all about dismissing it (the TMS symptom), not giving it power, not giving it attention.

 

[KevinB]

Take away the power of the symptom by not being afraid of it! Tell yourself - oh well, even if I have this symptom forever, it's going to be okay, it won't ruin my life, etc.

I like this a lot! Thanks for sharing that.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

I definitely relate stress with having to pee. I remember in high school I was a hit in a school play and everyone wanted me to go to the cast party afterward. But I had been so scared during the play, I wet my pants. I was afraid it would show, or smell, so I copped out of the party. Nature can have its way, I guess. I wonder how many actors wear incontenance pants today. Or how many people at all.