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Need encouragment

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Letherebhope, Jun 19, 2017.

  1. Letherebhope

    Letherebhope New Member

    Hi. I am about a month in. My pain has seem to go down but is still there 24/7 but just more tolerable. I also started an antidepressants about 2-3 months ago. When I followed up w my primary dr and told her how I was doing slightly better ( not even mentioning TMS). She was very discouraging. She basically said it was due to the medication and no other reason. I said how I wanted to try to decrease it but she insisting that I was doing better due to medication instead of me "healing". Which I told her I thought I was doing. She also said I would probably have to deal with this my whole life. I left there very discouraged and now I'm very depressed and I am second guessing. Maybe I am doing better cuz the Elavil (5 mg) has been in my system for 2-3 months and its not due to me finding out about TMS. I'm very discouraged right now. I don't want to live in pain my whole life. My husband just told me "crying about it isn't going to help it either". Anyone else feel that way going thru this and actually come out ahead and pain free?????
  2. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Letherebhope,

    I want you to recognize where you are: you've embraced a mind-body approach to understanding and relieving pain. This is remarkable, rare, and difficult. Your primary care doctor, like most, sounds as if she has no idea of your approach. Chronic pain is seen as a "whole life issue" by many physicians, especially if you've had this for awhile.

    I hope you don't let the limited views of your physician discourage you. Anti-depressants seem to help some on this forum to focus more on their TMS work, and be less distracted by depression. The effect of the medicine does not refute the work you're doing re TMS! TMS work itself seems to help some with depression.

    You may not want to taper the medicine unless it is causing a lot of unwanted symptoms, for now. Later, when you get the pain under control, then you may feel you have more flexibility... But I do not have medical training.

    You may benefit from other forms of support like counseling or coaching. Many people find enough support on a forum like this.

    Try to not get sucked in by your husband's rejection of your experience/tears. This kind of statement is common when we observe someone in pain and feel helpless to do anything about it. It is not guided or loving, just so you know, but it may be the best he can do, living with you and your symptoms.

    Andy B
    Ellen, Celayne and Lavender like this.
  3. Letherebhope

    Letherebhope New Member


    Thank you so much for responding to me. It meant a lot to me, some days are just tougher than others. Your response did make me feel a lot better. I wish I could afford coaching but right now I spent all extra cash on trying to fix my back ( acupuncture, light therapy, new mattress) .
    I do consider staying on my antidepressant (elavil) but my side effects are sometimes worse ( panic attacks , crying spells ) . I'm actually not on it for depression but for pain control instead, it's actually seemed to make my depression worse.
    I am going to stay positive like you suggested. I just wish I was one of those people who once they read they are cured.
    We can do this ..... rightThanks
    For your encouragement at a time of need.
    Lavender likes this.
  4. Ryan

    Ryan Well known member

    Hang in there I can relate to you. Here is my input from my experience, but I am no doctor but these are my opinions.

    Don't listen to your doctor you will be fine. Depression is a form of tms, you having that the rest of your life is not true. Our thoughts create our reality. We were created with love and happiness as our natural state it got jumbled up by life experiences. You can change your brain no matter what they say, there is so much fear and hopeless actions doctors say these days. They hurt people more than help them. A book by Dr caroline leaf may help with this, "switch on your brain".

    I to was on sleep medication and antidepressants. I eventually got tired of taking a pill to be happy and sleep, I quit my medications and have never been on them since. They were keeping me from my feelings and putting a bandaid on my problem not fixing it. Hope this gives you some hope that you can do it, but I'm not a doctor the choice is yours. I can tell you I am happier than ever now and take no pills. Depression is a tms symptom due to repressed emotions.

    As for your husband, that's a problem with some males these days. They think it's weak to be emotional, but a lot of them just stuff there emotions cause it's not manly. I cry and I am a man, there is nothing wrong with you crying we are all emotional beings. Goodluck your at the right place. (I just noticed you posted while I was tyoung this. I also had panic attacks that are gone without meds. They are a tms symptom)

  5. Celayne

    Celayne Well known member

    I, too, was so hoping for the 'read and be cured', but it seems to be more of a longer process for most people than that.

    Hang in there, everyone on this forum understands what you are going through. To me, that makes a huge difference in my outlook. I actually feel hope for the first time in a very long while.
  6. MWsunin12

    MWsunin12 Beloved Grand Eagle

    I've had physicians who feel compelled to always voice the "worst case scenario." This does not help at all.
    I don't know why they feel the need to do this, except to be the 'expert."
    Please don't get depressed further over this. Put it on par with going to an auto mechanic for an oil change and having them tell you what happens to oil if the car is submerged in a frozen lake. I hope this makes sense, but it's kind of the same thing.

    You are a young woman who wants to feel better. Believe in your body's ability to heal. Tune out the nay-sayers.
  7. Lunarlass66

    Lunarlass66 Well known member

    Hello Hope... I just felt absolutely compelled to reply to you as I feel my story is almost identical to yours. There are so many variables and seemly insurmountable obstacles in dealing with chronic, physically unexplained pain... And having a spouse or partner who seems to minimize it and shrug it off or show little compassion adds to the sense of isolation and hopelessness that seems to go hand in hand with Mindbody syndrome... Aghhh, so frustrating! I've tried SSRIs too, since I have severe anxiety, it gave me the same side affects..
    This site is wonderful in that it gives those of us struggling with this affliction a place for hope, commonality and comfort.
    The one thing I've learned from my third year journey with TMS and that symptoms seem senseless.. They ebb and flow, and move around and just when you think you may be reaching the "other side" of it, something happens.. (usually a high stress event triggers mine..) and I have a resurgence.. Counseling has been frustratingly slow.. And I find myself barely remembering what "my old life" felt like..
    But, don't give up.. We all have the capacity to heal.. Physically, emotionally, spiritually.. I hang on to that affirmation to keep going.
    Fear is also a huge obstacle. I tend to seek out constant reassurance that I'm ok or will be.
    This is the place to find that peace of mind. If you need a shoulder.. Count me in! You can do this! :)
    Celayne likes this.
  8. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    This is important information. I would consult with another physician re your desire to get off these meds. Preferably one open to the mind-body approach you are pursuing. By the way, most people do fine without outside help. I hope you continue to use the Forum to your advantage for support. Did you engage the SEP or the TMS Recovery Program? These are a great support too.
  9. 2scoops

    2scoops New Member

    Unfortunately doctors these days don't have the ability to heal their patients so they take out their frustrations out on them. I believe a lot of our health issues are based in fear. Fear is torment. We should only use our tongues to encourage and lift each other up. The bible says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. That's why Sarno says some people get better by speaking to their pain or their brains.

    We all need love. I believe a lot of anxiety and depression is rooted in fear or the need for love. Thats why many of us have become people pleasers, goodists, worriers, etc. I really think TMS is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to symptoms and diseases that are caused in the mind. A lot of our symptoms are the result of a lot pressure we put on ourselves to receive love.
    Last edited: Jun 23, 2017
    Lunarlass66 and MWsunin12 like this.
  10. Bodhigirl

    Bodhigirl Well known member

    Oh, gosh, crying does help! My husband says the same sorts of things... being helpful means fixing the pain, not empathizing.
    Well, cry here. It's part of what we do to recover. And get angry at the doctor, too. Clueless. As a therapist, I am always stunned by the coldness of some physicians.
    Sending good wishes!!?L
    Lunarlass66 likes this.
  11. fridaynotes

    fridaynotes Well known member

    "This too shall pass" is a wonderful affirmation. I also use "This pain will disappear as mysteriously as it arose"
    I also like "Healing is a process and I am in that process"
    Say these a lot. Feel them to be true. The subconscious is such a powerful tool, we just need to re-train it. Hang in there, you can do it. The healing IS REAL
  12. Celayne

    Celayne Well known member

    Thanks! I like all of these. I've used "This too shall pass" but the other two are new for me.

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