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Need advice on confidence

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Kylin Foster, Apr 18, 2017.

  1. Kylin Foster

    Kylin Foster Peer Supporter

    Hi guys! So I am 18 and apart of the generation who for the most part "can't get off their phones"
    I find my self always on snapchat, ig, fb ext. and often find myself comparing my selves to others on there. Like for example I will see a video of someone doing something fun and will think wow she is so much prettier than me and I bet she doesn't have pain. This also causes me to be in the present moment less. I was thinking it might be a good idea to delete all the social media apps on my phone for a while.

    One of the reason's I'm hesitant is that there are a lot of senior pages for our class and I don't want to miss out on info or feel left out from the group pages.

    What do you guys think is best.
  2. veritybrown

    veritybrown New Member

    Kylin, you show great awareness for someone so young!

    Going cold turkey may be hard, is it possible to limit checking your group pages to twice a day?

    Also, I am no expert in these matters as I've only just discovered TMS, though I'm thinking avoidance may be just as bad. From what I can gather it's not so much changing what you do as much as changing your perceptions. Why not try shifting your perceptions about the other people you see? Everyone has problems and challenges, can you really be sure they aren't suffering in some way too? Maybe try and applaud them for seeming to have fun while they may be inwardly feeling like you are. As far as looks go, very few people are satisfied with how they look, even the most seemingly confident of people. Find something good/inspiring about each picture/video.

    Be kind to yourself, show yourself a little compassion.

    Good luck :)
  3. Kylin Foster

    Kylin Foster Peer Supporter

    Thank you it's something I definitely need to work on, I appreciate the support so much.
  4. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Kylin. I'm an author, writing a new book on relationships and have found that many of the most beautiful actresses have low self-esteem and don't think they're pretty, much less beautiful. I suggest that you stop thinking other women are beautiful and they are not in any emotional or physical pain. They probably just don't admit it. Here's what Jennifer Lopez says:

    “I'm very into positive thinking. The minute I feel nervousness or anxiety or fear, I go, 'No, no, that's not a thought that I need to have right now. Everything's great, everything's good, you're going to be fine.'”
  5. Kylin Foster

    Kylin Foster Peer Supporter

    Thank you so much. I know that's true that so many pretty people don't think so but I really just don't think I'm pretty. And as a kid my brother always called me ugly growing up as a joke but I just am not happy with my self. How do I transform the way I view my self from
    extremely negative to happy?

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