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Nearly There ...........

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by NIClubber, Jun 22, 2015.

  1. NIClubber

    NIClubber Peer Supporter

    I have nearly totally figured out what caused my dizziness, a prelude to the back pain.

    I had just gone on a first date with a new girl, and she was very overweight (possibly obese).

    I had immediately told myself that I would help her to work out the trigger for her being overweight, and see her through to actually losing the weight.

    After the second date, it became obvious that we had little in common, and I was also put off by her weight problem.

    I told her that I wasn't over my previous girlfriend and we ended up splitting up. I have since lost contact with her altogether, although she is on Facebook.

    Other than anger at myself for not doing that I said I would do, what other emotion(s) could I be repressing???

    My thanks in advance, as I think someone will help me figure this one out.
     
  2. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, NIClubber. Don't feel bad that you didn't follow through on offering to help the overweight girl.
    Ultimately, that's up to her. And also you discovered you have little in common so that
    relationship looks like it was going nowhere.

    You're probably repressing your "goodist" nature, wanting to please everyone about everything.
    Don't let the situation about offering to help the girl with her weight problem trouble you.

    Good luck looking for "Miss Right." That's not easy, especially these days of liberated women.

    I suggest you not be so quick to offer help of any kind to anyone until you know them better.
     
  3. NIClubber

    NIClubber Peer Supporter

    I didn't offer her help, per se. I was thinking of offering her help, but didn't feel we had anything much in common, possibly apart from a similar sense of humour.
     
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi NIClubber,
    It sounds like, though you don't name it, that you are aware that there is some doubt or Superego activity about your behavior? If this is so, you can observe the Inner Bully attacks, and disengage from them. The Superego has no reasoning, just a child-primative mind of "right and wrong." So maybe it is activated. But you are in charge of your decisions, not it.
    Andy B.
     
  5. NIClubber

    NIClubber Peer Supporter

    I wonder if it is "guilt", as I essentially abandoned her, maybe when she needed me to help her. Most of my 'friends' have also abandoned me in the last 8-10 years.
     
  6. Ryan

    Ryan Well known member

    Hey clubber

    Trying to search so hard for things you are repressing and why this symptom is happening will prolong healing. It's another way of tmsing, you search frantically for answer out of fear. Which in turn generates internal rage because you are obsessed over finding the answer.

    It's ok, I did the same thing but try and let go live life. I know easier said then done. The great doctor said it himself searching for the exact thing you repress is fruitless. Also if one is preoccupied with the body/symptoms they will persists. Be thankful for where you are now even though it may suck. Find happiness in the simple things in life. Direction and purpose will help guide you, but you have to find that on your own.

    Your body is ok, just let the symptoms come and go about your day. Hope you get over the hump but don't give up, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Goodluck, we are what we believe.

    Ryan
     
    Ellen likes this.
  7. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Clubber. I like Ryan's advice. Thinking too much about what emotional causes give us TMS can keep our mind on the pain.
    I think a lot of people heal by just telling themselves their pain is caused by TMS, repressed emotions and/or a perfectionist and goodist personality, then stop there. Let the subconscious do the rest for you. Find pleasant distractions and do deep breathing and repeat positive mantras. Live each day as pleasantly as you can.
     
  8. NIClubber

    NIClubber Peer Supporter

    I have had some occasions where the pain has significantly reduced, but then within 10-12 hours has come back, normally worse than it was before. Could this be the 'programming' going on in my head?? How do I deal with this?? More reading and learning??
     

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