My whole story - bite obsession/anxiety/depression - not doing well.

[sepultura]

Hi. Firstly this is my third post in a short period of time so I apologise for that but I need to tell my full story in one place.

2020: under immense stress. Had a severe panic attack and vertigo and ended up in accident and emergency. They suggested a panic attack and I did not buy it.

Following this I went into detective mode to try and find out what was wrong with me. I bought blue light glasses, a cervical neck brace, acupuncture Matt, supplements and more and more.

The worst thing I bought was a mouth guard to sleep in as a I read somewhere it could have been down to clenching my teeth. I wore this for 3 months and it changed how my upper and lower teeth fitted together. I gave myself an open bite. Only my back teeth touched. It was so uncomfortable and gave me tinnitus and jaw pain and muscle tension.

I took on the narrative that this was the source of all my problems - even though i was already looking for what was wrong before this. I went to so many dentists. Became an obsessive googler. And basically my life drastically changed. I became anxious and depressed. And was put on antidepressants for the first time of my life. Somehwere in this I discovered tms work and listened to every podcast. It brought me hope. However I still wanted to close my bite.

No dentist knew what to do with me. I paid loads of money for splints and appointments. I had a dentist grind my back teeth down to try and close the bite. Nothing really helped. I needed the bite closed. I ended up doing Invisalign in 2022. It mostly closed my bite though my bite was still open along the sides.

My TMJ symptoms went away. - strangely at this time I developed around 6 months of arm pain coming from a pinched nerve in the neck. It could be seen that the plastic in between my teeth got my thoughts away from my bite and the arm pain also being a distraction. The arm pain resolved by itself after months (it was 9/10 pain). And I got my Invisalign off.

I was cured. I believed. Over two years. Got married. Became a daddy. Life has been beautiful. I never was on forums or dealing with any chronic issues. I had basically left the tms world behind me.

I was at the dentist about 5 weeks ago. He commented on how my teeth don’t really come together all that well. I said I was comfortable but he offered to grind some more teeth down to improve contact. I let him.

BIG MISTAKE.

The next day I woke up in fight or flight. And it hasn’t really eased. I’ve had that old jaw/ear pain surfacing. But it has died down last few days. Anxiety induced insomnia. Depression. I am back on anti depressants.

I feel like my life is over and I don’t know why. I’m not really in pain. I’m just hyper focused on how my teeth make contact. I’m constantly checking my bite together and in the mirror.

I am constantly googling. I’ve been to a new orthodontist who said the bite doesn’t need to be perfect. So now I think I’ll struggle to find an ortho to take me on and try and properly close the bite. And if that is even what I need. Probably not.

The bite I had before had less contact that it has now. Maybe the suited me. I never was thinking about it or checking it. Now it’s all I’m doing and it’s frankly ruining my life.

 

[Rabscuttle]

You are going about this all wrong. Why are you googling, why are you obsessively looking in the mirror, looking for a new orthodontist? You’ve already been here. You got through it. It sounds like back then the distraction of life and being a parent was what got you out of your head and to stop obsessing about your body. This can be a good lesson to dig deeper. There is clearly some inner dysfunction going on. But you know you need to stop the obsessing, it isn’t going to happen overnight, but the googling can absolutely stop, the searching for a new doctor can absolutely stop.

 

[sepultura]

You are going about this all wrong. Why are you googling, why are you obsessively looking in the mirror, looking for a new orthodontist? You’ve already been here. You got through it. It sounds like back then the distraction of life and being a parent was what got you out of your head and to stop obsessing about your body. This can be a good lesson to dig deeper. There is clearly some inner dysfunction going on. But you know you need to stop the obsessing, it isn’t going to happen overnight, but the googling can absolutely stop, the searching for a new doctor can absolutely stop.

Thank you for your reply.

The reason I am contacting the orthodontist is because there is a visible gap where very little teeth make contact on either side of my arch. I only have contact on my back molar on the right and the front teeth. So there is objective misalignment.

However, my bite was more misaligned even before my adjustment and it did not bother me for two years. Invisalign was the thing that got me out of the stress by improving my bite the first time. This basically allowed me to move on and then start my family.

There are inconsistencies here and things that don’t really add up. I am aware of that. Why has my new bite brought on so much turmoil. When there is more contact than there was before, that should be better. I think it suited me to have less contact as I couldn’t constantly be checking.

Yes stopping the googling is important and I will try my best. It’s the short lived reassurance when I see something reassuring.

I’m all over the place I know. It is likely very frustrating to read as I know I am not treating this as fully TMS. I think due to previous orthodontic work providing me with the most significant benefits the last time, it is hard to ignore.

Thank you.

 

[Rabscuttle]

It’s not frustrating to read, I feel bad for you. I get what you’re going through. The problem is you’re in a loop of thinking physical treatments will keep working or were the thing that worked initially. lots of people(especially before they’re TMS aware) may initial find relief with things like Pt or acupuncture initially as their nervous systems aren’t totally out of wack, they have belief that the thing they’re trying will help them and that belief soothes the brain. But as we accumulate stress (which it sounds like you are) the odds of these physical treatments maintaining that same impact are slim.

If you feel you need to go for more orthodontic treatments that’s fine, TMS work is always available to you. But it’s very hard to do both, and it’s very clear there is more going on here than just bite misalignment. This can either be a wake up call to detach from the physical or unfortunately spend a lifetime in a cycle thinking these anatomical problems are the issue. Neither is going to happen passively.

You also probably have a shit ton of tension in your jaw so who knows what your bite is even really like without it. My teeth are still misaligned but it was really bad and uncomfortable for months due to the tension in my muscles surrounding the joint.

 

[BloodMoon]

I’m not really in pain. I’m just hyper focused on how my teeth make contact.

I wonder if the bite has become a distraction in the wider sense — not just a source of fear, but something that fills your time and attention. When you’re checking your teeth, googling, booking appointments and trying to solve the bite, you don’t have to sit with whatever else is going on, or not going on, in your life. The symptom gives you a very concrete problem to focus on.

The brain also makes the focus feel urgent by attaching a sense of danger to it: “Something is wrong with my bite, I must keep checking, I must solve this!” That danger signal keeps your attention locked on the symptom and away from the rest of your life. But the danger may be more about what the focus is protecting you from feeling than about your teeth themselves.

You said yourself that when the Invisalign was in, it took your thoughts away from the bite — and then the arm pain appeared. That pattern is worth noticing. The issue may be less “what is wrong with my teeth?” and more “what is this focus protecting me from feeling or dealing with?”

It might help to ask: if I couldn’t think about my bite at all for a week, what would I be left facing? Not to force an answer, but to see what comes up.

 

[sepultura]

I wonder if the bite has become a distraction in the wider sense — not just a source of fear, but something that fills your time and attention. When you’re checking your teeth, googling, booking appointments and trying to solve the bite, you don’t have to sit with whatever else is going on, or not going on, in your life. The symptom gives you a very concrete problem to focus on.

The brain also makes the focus feel urgent by attaching a sense of danger to it: “Something is wrong with my bite, I must keep checking, I must solve this!” That danger signal keeps your attention locked on the symptom and away from the rest of your life. But the danger may be more about what the focus is protecting you from feeling than about your teeth themselves.

You said yourself that when the Invisalign was in, it took your thoughts away from the bite — and then the arm pain appeared. That pattern is worth noticing. The issue may be less “what is wrong with my teeth?” and more “what is this focus protecting me from feeling or dealing with?”

It might help to ask: if I couldn’t think about my bite at all for a week, what would I be left facing? Not to force an answer, but to see what comes up.

Thank you.

That’s one the thing. I genuinely felt so rich in life. Great wife. Great daughter. Great career.

Literally 2 months ago I was out the bike with my daughter sitting in front. We were looking for squirrels in the park. And thought to myself “life is so good”.

Having had these traumatic events in the past with my bite gave me real appreciation that had come out of it. And that’s why I feel like this episode has been so intense because I feel like I’ve thrown it away and now im back in the depths of it.

 

[sepultura]

It’s not frustrating to read, I feel bad for you. I get what you’re going through. The problem is you’re in a loop of thinking physical treatments will keep working or were the thing that worked initially. lots of people(especially before they’re TMS aware) may initial find relief with things like Pt or acupuncture initially as their nervous systems aren’t totally out of wack, they have belief that the thing they’re trying will help them and that belief soothes the brain. But as we accumulate stress (which it sounds like you are) the odds of these physical treatments maintaining that same impact are slim.

If you feel you need to go for more orthodontic treatments that’s fine, TMS work is always available to you. But it’s very hard to do both, and it’s very clear there is more going on here than just bite misalignment. This can either be a wake up call to detach from the physical or unfortunately spend a lifetime in a cycle thinking these anatomical problems are the issue. Neither is going to happen passively.

You also probably have a shit ton of tension in your jaw so who knows what your bite is even really like without it. My teeth are still misaligned but it was really bad and uncomfortable for months due to the tension in my muscles surrounding the joint.

Thanks.

I’m so conflicted with wanting to fix my bite and abandoning it all and going pure TMS. The bite fix changed my life last time. Genuinely. It gave me everything I built as dramatic as that sounds. I was barely functioning when my bite ruined and the symptoms it gave me.

As for the tension in my jaw changing the bite. It’s an anxiety inducing thought and one im
Not sure applies to me. I wore a mouth guard and ended with an open bite. And had it for nearly 3 years. It wasn’t going away and the teeth needed moved. The bite feels stable now and doesn’t change all the time. Which I feel would be the case if it was related to tension. But the idea of getting orthodontics then muscles changing and my bite essentially being trapped in the wrong position gives me a lot of fear.

 

[BloodMoon]

Thank you.

That’s one the thing. I genuinely felt so rich in life. Great wife. Great daughter. Great career.

Literally 2 months ago I was out the bike with my daughter sitting in front. We were looking for squirrels in the park. And thought to myself “life is so good”.

Having had these traumatic events in the past with my bite gave me real appreciation that had come out of it. And that’s why I feel like this episode has been so intense because I feel like I’ve thrown it away and now im back in the depths of it.

I take your point about feeling you had a rich life — and I don’t doubt that it was real. But it may be worth noticing that the bite gives you something very specific to focus on: a problem that feels urgent, dangerous and fixable. Checking, googling and trying to correct the bite can fill your attention, while the more uncomfortable question stays in the background.

It may not be that your life was bad. It may be that the intensity of “life is so good” created something to lose — a sense that you now have to protect it, or that you’ve failed because the old fear came back. The bite becomes the distraction from sitting with that vulnerability.

So rather than asking only, “How do I fix my bite?”, it might be worth asking, “What am I not letting myself feel or look at while all my attention is on my teeth?” You don’t have to force an answer. Just notice what happens when the checking and googling stop for even a few minutes.

 

[sepultura]

I take your point about feeling you had a rich life — and I don’t doubt that it was real. But it may be worth noticing that the bite gives you something very specific to focus on: a problem that feels urgent, dangerous and fixable. Checking, googling and trying to correct the bite can fill your attention, while the more uncomfortable question stays in the background.

It may not be that your life was bad. It may be that the intensity of “life is so good” created something to lose — a sense that you now have to protect it, or that you’ve failed because the old fear came back. The bite becomes the distraction from sitting with that vulnerability.

So rather than asking only, “How do I fix my bite?”, it might be worth asking, “What am I not letting myself feel or look at while all my attention is on my teeth?” You don’t have to force an answer. Just notice what happens when the checking and googling stop for even a few minutes.

Thank you for this.

Definitely thought provoking. I appreciate your generosity.

 

[sepultura]

Me again.

I’m fairly sure I have phantom bite syndrome/occlusal hyper awareness.

Which is a misfiring of the nervous system. Making normal sensations feel like a threat. I don’t know where to start with going about this in a TMS way.

I have been extremely low today verging on suicidal ideation. Not that I would act on that but I want to be honest about how severe this has become for me.

I’m so sorry to post this.

 

[Cactusflower]

Hi Sepultura:
I was there, I understand.
Hopefully tomorrow you will feel a little bit better. If you are still struggling, it might be time to speak to your medical professional again about your suffering.
Have you ever tried to approach what you are going through from an emotional perspective and done some emotional work? The free Structured Educational Program is always available when you are ready for it. If you don't feel ready, then maybe you would prefer more assistance from a psychologist. There are a few types of therapy that are mind/body oriented and can help. I went though a few months of EMDR that I found very helpful. I found it fairly gentle and it directly involves nervous system work.
There are other methods which can really help you begin to notice and have more confidence in the fact that your nervous system isn't broken - and neither are you.
I really believe that feeling stuck within TMS and it's cycles is really just another TMS symptom. You are sort of stuck believing that there is something "wrong" with you. You don't have to believe everything your mind tells you, and that was the function of EMDR for me. I began to see exactly what was going on by slowly, bit by bit allowing the thoughts during the sessions and then getting feedback from my therapist. The Structured Education Program actually does similar work in a different way.
Personally, I found that when the anxiety and depression eased (they make brief return visits, but now I know to simply allow them to be there), I could much more easily do the work and shift my mindset. I believe you can too.