Day 1 My (typical) story

I am 37 years old and in many ways a very healthy person: good diet, not overweight, don't smoke, and regular exercise prior to the onset of severe chronic pain. I have a long history (nearly 20 years) of periodic back spasms which would last approximately a week and then subside. Because of these spasms, I always thought I had a "bad back" and have been careful not to overexert myself. But I did not have chronic pain when the spasm released, and I could do most things without worrying, so the overall impact on my life was not large.

I started having chronic back pain and discomfort in late 2011. In October 2012, I suffered perhaps my 7th or 8th lower back spasm. When the muscles finally released a week later, I was left with more severe chronic pain of a type undoubtedly familiar to most readers: dull but strong lower back pain, tight legs, inability to bend, inability to sit, inability to lift more than a trivial amount of weight, feeling of a pinched nerve, etc. As time progressed, I worked my way through the medical industry with no relief. I became obsessed with my pain and it got worse. I had another spasm in July 2013 and things got worse. Then another spasm in January 2014, and this spasm lasted three weeks. I became terrified of all physical activity.

Luckily, I randomly happened upon Dr.Sarno's book Healing Back Pain in March. I read it and felt a small amount of relief almost immediately. I have entertained many theories about the source of my pain, and TMS is the only one that could answer important questions about the pattern of my pain. And as other have said, I saw myself on every page. I was reasonably certain TMS was the right diagnosis for me. Then I read the book again, and my confidence in the diagnosis increased.

After reading more information, I am now 100% convinced that I too suffer from TMS. There is really no doubt in my conscious mind about this. However, this has not been fully internalized by my subconscious yet. I am now about 75% healed. I can now engage in many more physical activities than I would have dared a year ago, and my pain level is quite reduced. However, I still have some fear and anxiety, and at times the anxiety of provoking another spasm is very strong. Then there are occasions when I do feel that I have fully internalized the TMS diagnosis, and I can actually feel a wave of physical relief wash over my body, and all the pain evaporates.

I am going to go through guided TMS therapy on this website. I do 100% believe that TMS is my problem, I have had countless experiences since I read Dr. Sarno's book to demonstrate it and build my confidence. But why won't my subconscious accept it fully? I know this takes time, especially with a history of strong fear, so here I go... I already feel so much better that being patient is not difficult.

Many thanks to those who have taken the time to build this website.

 

jmm, that's awesome. 75% healed is great. Welcome aboard. Yes you will do well here I'm sure. Fear is an instigator of the pain for sure so I want to leave you with something special from Claire Weekes. Listen to all four audios and really take to heart what shes says to do and soon you will be thanking me.

These audio recordings of Claire Weekes have gotten me through a lot


Part 1

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover1.mp3

Part 2

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover2.mp3

Part 3

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover3.mp3

Part 4

http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover4.mp3

Bless You