My TMS Story

[Bowen]

I had a back injury in 1998 playing football and continued playing years after it until I had to retire in my early twenties as a result of it. I have been in constant pain now more than twenty six years and it has only got worse. Since retiring I have been unemployable due to the amount of pain and debilitation. I have literally had hundreds of different treatments so it would be pointless listing them here.

It was more than a decade ago that I discovered Sarnos work and I resonated with it deeply. I knew that I did not have any significant structural problem and was suffering from chronic pain from reading the book the brain that changes itself. Especially since from my original injury the pain had moved. What surprised me was how much I saw of myself in Sarnos books. I put myself in to doing the work however after a significant amount of time I got no better so I spent around a year or more with a TMS therapist. That also did not work.

Since then I have done so many treatments and have done so much mind body therapy to rewire my brain and be pain free however nothing has worked. It has cost me nearly everything and I am not just talking about money not to mention my quality of life. The pain has only got worse and it is constant and at a very high level to the point where there is not much that I can physically do.

Some time ago I decided that maybe I have missed something And go back to tmswiki and maybe approach it from a slightly different angle and hope it helps.


Many thanks


Bowen

 

[Diana-M]

@Bowen
I have a similar story to you. Very stubborn TMS. Quite disabled by it at the moment. I’ve had TMS on and off for 30 years. Often it subsided. Looking back, I think it subsided because I just carried on despite it. Usually I had to. I was supporting 3 kids and raising them alone. No time for TMS.

In 2017, I discovered Sarno when my hands went numb. I read his book, did what he advised and got better. But my TMS came back in 2020 and doubled its symptoms by 2024. That’s where I am now.

I had to retire because I can’t even type. I’m a writer. I think retiring poses its own set of problems because you just feel dead in the water. There’s not enough to keep you fighting. Recently, I started writing a book longhand. It has changed everything because I now have a purpose and structure. I think that’s more important than I first thought. You have to get a life that feels real. Not just surviving. It got so TMS was my full time job. This is bad. I don’t know if that information helps you. But it took me a year to figure that out.

As to why it takes so long to get rid of TMS for some people. I guess the answer is: it just does. But what choice do we have but to forge ahead? Go at it physically and emotionally. Chart our course. Then keep at it.

The experts say if you don’t give up, you can get out of this. So I’m not going to give up. I also know that each degree of relief I get will improve my lifestyle. So it’s a battle of degrees. One percent improvement is valuable. And 20 percent is even better. And just keep going. The advice and support here is great. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without it. Sometimes it’s conflicting, but always it challenges me to figure out what works for me.

 

[Bowen]

Thanks Diana this was really supportive and helpful. I can resonate with it especially with not being able to work and having no purpose etc.

I was talking with David Hanscom the other day and he said all of this exploring repressed emotions and thinking psychologically is working against me I just need to get on with it and let the body do the healing. Theres so many different theories out there it is hard to know what works with me after trying so many things.

 

[Diana-M]

Theres so many different theories out there it is hard to know what

I’m glad I could help! There are a lot of theories people have been talking about that here on the forum. And somebody said something really good yesterday— She said getting on with life is the bottom line. Nothing else really matters. But that’s easier said than done for some of us! I feel like in a whole year I’ve inched along about as far as a snail. I did Dr. Hanscom‘s app program earlier this year. I liked it a lot. He is not in favor of digging into emotions. But he does have you journal every day in a gentle way. For him it’s called expressive writing. You just write anything you’re thinking and then you tear it up.

I feel for your pain and frustration. I have tried so many things. I just keep thinking one of these days I’ll break through. The thing that gives me the most hope are the people who just did little tasks around the house every day and slowly got better. That’s what I’m trying to do now— and some days I don’t even do my little tasks!

I’m currently in a whole bunch of pain because for the last few days I’ve been thinking about some very emotional issues for me— trying to figure out what’s going on. Every time I do that I get in a lot of pain. I really don’t know if it adds up in the long run.

I wish you all the best and I hope that you will stay around here.

 

[Bowen]

Thanks Diana I have done Davids course as well and I tend to agree with him in my case.
I admire in you the courage and thats is what David talks about.
Awareness, connection and persistence.

The only anomaly is in my situation is when I go through emotional situations it doesnt seem to make a difference to the pain.
I just have to get on with it although I do work on trying to desensitise my autonomic nervous system.