1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this link: http://go.tmswiki.org/newprogram
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Day 1 My story

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by ariel233, Sep 9, 2020.

  1. ariel233

    ariel233 New Member

    So I started the ESP and now I'm writing my story, I apperciate anyone who will take the time to read it (I think it going to be long) but I decided to fully give it a shot.
    Antoher thing - I'm actually not a native English speaker so please forgive me for any mistakes.

    So I'm 22 Male, physically I'm genrally healthy but mentally I suffer every now and then from a little crysis.
    As a child I was always the quiet and good boy that doing great at school and the dream of every mother.
    I bullyed at the elementary school due my weight but at the end of the sixth grade I decided to make a change and I really lost around 6-7KG (it's pretty significant ehen your'e 12 years old) and then felt and looked way better.
    After that I found new "friends" that always saw me as the weak child and always made fun of me and since I lived in a small vilage, I was afraid to be alone so I stayed with them altought their behaviour.

    All of that stopped around the age of 16, I found new friends at school and decided not letting my village friends to treat me like that anymore.
    Now I relaize that after they stopped bullyed me, I started to experience all the mind-body symptoms.

    At first it started in age 17 - I had virus in my stomach that gave me strong stomach pains, and I remember reading about IBS and thinking I have it and really freaked out and doing a lot of lab tests, then they told me I have this virus and they gave me antibiotics and after a while I felt better, and then I started to experience pains all over my body and insomania and thought I have fibromyalgia.
    I have to admit that obsessing symptoms searching in google it something that now I realize really add to my fear and from there to my pain.
    After few months of insomania and pains I somehow found out about Dr John Sarno, I bought his book about back pain and really believed to anything he said there because all the test has not shown any underlying issue to my symptoms.
    And really after 2 weeks I completly recovered ans got rid of my pains.
    This story was around July 2015 and after that I was fine until March 2017.

    In March 2017 I tried to have sex with my gf and I had sexual performence anixety that lasted for around 5 months and in this period I was really obsessing about my erection and everytime tried to test how strong it and it led to erection problems even when I was alone !
    I also was afraid that my gf will leave me because of that even though she told me that she is okay with it.
    In the age of 19 I didn't had good erection for 5 months !
    It resolved around August 2015 after I took Viagra pill and then I told myself that if I will have this problem I will just take a pill again, and suddenly when I wasn't so obsessing about it, everything was fine.

    After this sexual obsessing over, I remembered that when I started date with my gf I slept with other girl (I didn't consider it as a cheating because we just went to a few dates together and weren't actually a couple yet).
    Suddenly my mind just "jumped" on the oppertunity and I started feel like a cheater because of that and I could not take it anymore and told her about it !
    Luckily it went fine in the end because we really weren't together.

    After that I had some episdoes of anixety over stupid things but it lasted each time maximum few days so I wouldn't enter to that.

    So now the next episode - it all started in January 2019, I did laser hair removal on my face to remove cheekbones hair but probably my skin was not suit the laser so I got hypopigmentation patch and she ruin also my beard line.
    Is depressed me in levels that doesn't make sense and I also couldn't go outside to the sun because it could make my hypopigmentation permanent so I just almost didn't hang out in the day light and it made me misrable, hopefully it got better and I can say that I finally pass it around September 2019.

    And lets jump to my current episode, the shingles.
    Yes I know that it's weird but at the age of 22 I got shingles on my neck. I started treatment late because the doc misdiagnosed me and it made me fear I will have lingering nerve pain called Post Herpatic neurolgia (PHN).
    I was stressed about it for few days but fortunately I had mild case and after like 2 weeks I recovered completely.
    After that I was totally fine without any anxiety or pain and just lived my life as a young guy like me should do.
    Until.... August 2nd, a little bit than a month ago. I woke up with this tingling and burning sensation near my right neck and my shoulder and immeiditly I thought its shingles again or PHN.
    Few days passed and I went to a dermatologist that took a sample of my skin and sent it to the lab test the confirm it's NOT a new case of shingles.

    So I just left with the diagnosis of PHN, PHN for who don't know it's lingering nerve pain after the shingles virus attacked the nerve and it could result in pain for weeks, months or years or even for life, depending on the severty of the nerve damage.
    Now I don't know of it's the PHN or TMS.

    When I had the pains in 2015 I was sure it's due TMS becuase I hasn't any underlying cause but now I have.

    From the second side it's weird to me that it's PHN, why ? Because PHN usually happen in old people, in people who had severe case or in people with background ilness and I'm none of it + PHN usually it's continus pain to the shingles and it's not usually happen after 4 months I was pain free (althought it's possible).
    And of my body was pain free for 4.5 months *after* the virus left my body and if my nerves already were damaged, why can't it be pain free again ?

    Those questions drive me to start this program and see maybe I will benefit and get over this pain and more importantly, will get over all those 5 years that everytime my mind jump on the opportunity of making me anxious and depressed.

    Good Luck !
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2020
  2. ssxl4000

    ssxl4000 Well known member

    I would argue that when a doctor says it's possible that PHN could start months afters shingles is gone, that is kind of like a doctor saying IBS can start months after a stomach virus. I think they are just connecting dots to try to explain a symptom they don't understand. But as you mentioned, it doesn't make logical sense. If shingles damaged your nerves to the point of a structural problem (PHN), then the pain/tingling should have started immediately. It does not make sense that your shingles goes away and you are pain free for an extended time, but then later on after shingles is gone your nerves start to malfunction.

    Dr. Sarno lists neuralgia as a common TMS symptom, so I would say you are in the right place. Plus, you have such a long history you detailed of other TMS symptoms, which implies this is the same. I am the same way (dozens of symptoms over my life), and for people like us, I think it's best to assume something is TMS unless proven otherwise. Like you said, if you have 4+ pain free months, you can do it again. Always look back on that if you have doubts.

    Good luck with the program!
    Deviation and ariel233 like this.
  3. DeweyHealing

    DeweyHealing Newcomer

    Ssxl thanks for your guidance to the OP.... curious have you conpleted the SEP, are you feeling better and now belping others with your story? If so tbat is admirbale and i intend to do tbe same

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