1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this link: http://go.tmswiki.org/newprogram
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My story

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Marnster, Nov 6, 2016.

  1. Marnster

    Marnster New Member

    I want to share my story. My symptoms started 4 yrs ago. I had a very rough delivery of my first child 4 yrs ago. I suffered femoral nerve damage in my legs during delivery. I had to walk with a walker and leg brace for 2 months and full recovery took 1 1/2 years. Then in 2014 I had hip surgery for a torn labrum and hip impingement. At the same time I was estranged from my mother. She didn't talk to me because I converted to a different religion. She told me I was dead to her and missed out on my delivery and my little girls life for 3 years. My legs began to ache constantly. It constantly felt like I had deep flu like aches in my legs. Plus my upper back always hurt. Since I've began this program my symptoms have improved a bit.
     
  2. Mala

    Mala Well known member

    So sorry to hear about yr situation & yr relationship with yr mother. Its clear that the pain is there & continuing becoz of the very strained relationship.

    What u do with your life is your own choice & u should not be punished for making those choices. The fact that she has refused to be part of yr life & yr beautiful children is her choice & a form of control over u. U may be carrying a lot of negative emotions around which could be manifesting as pain. I dont know what yr relationship with her has been like prior to this incident but right now there must be a neediness on your part for her approval, anger, guilt even betrayal & these need to be addressed.

    Good luck


    Mala
     
    Marnster likes this.
  3. Marnster

    Marnster New Member

    My mother needs psycological help. She's in denial that she does. She has many issues. She is miserable with her life.
     
  4. Mala

    Mala Well known member

    The ppl who usually need psychological help the most r the v ones that r in denial & continue to make life miserable for other ppl usually family members.

    U need to journal abt yr issues with her & look into what kind of a relationship u can have with her which will not affect u so much. If there r certain expectations from her that u r hanging onto then u may have to reevaluate them.

    Not easy with parents who have such a hold over us.

    Here's a poem from Philip Larkin which says it all.


    This Be The Verse

    BY PHILIP LARKIN
    They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
    They may not mean to, but they do.
    They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.
    But they were fucked up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,
    Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.
    Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
    Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.



    Mala
     
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