1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
    Dismiss Notice

Day 4 My sister and my job are triggers

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by aces0730, Sep 20, 2015.

  1. aces0730

    aces0730 Peer Supporter

    The pain in my ankle is mostly stiff in the morning. That will go away once I do more journaling. I am pretty much pain free during the day. I have repressed anger over my sister' Garrie's situation. (We have boys names) Last night we went to the movies where 1) I was having dinner with my friend before the movie, I had to buy my sister a meal to go because she couldn't be with us due to work. I spent $30 for her meal she wanted the seared ahi tuna and guacamole , $13 for her movie ticket, $20 for popcorn, and lastly $25 so she would have food until she gets paid. She works for Target. I felt the pain really coming on when I went to pick her up, and I told it to go the hell away. Which it did

    I still have repressed anger. I have been paying her bills, for movies, expensive presents, like The $80 Betsy Johson robe, etc, etc since I was 25 years old. I am now fifty. Last night she had the audacity to ask me if I wanted to make plans to go curtain shopping this morning. When I told her no, she was very incorrigible, I made up a lie saying I might have to log into work from home, if my boss sends an email that he wants me to work. I hate lying, but I had to. Even if I did go with her I would be doe exhausted because I didn't get home until after midnight, and my cat woke me up at 6:30. Again, even if I had made the plans. I would have ended up canceling because my son has catechism classes for confirmation Sunday. Although I am a struggling Catholic I still believe in having some faith. My sister would say, let him make his own decision. He can do it when he's older. Thinking back,my mom never insisted my niece and nephew receive communion or be confirmed, but later, my sister made them go to adult CCD. I was my niece's sponsor.

    My job is a bit stressful, but I am enraged that they hired a 25 year old over me. I still have a job as a temp going on two years, but when my manager interviewed me, he was so intimidating that I forgot my accomplishments and my achievements. I couldn't answer the question about leadership. Two days later the pain in my ankle and tendon came sreaming back I could have used this as my example.When my other sister George-Ayn had pancreatic cancer it was I who took care of her. I was the one who took her for treatments, with an infant, no less, planned a fundraiser to get my sister to an experimental treatment in NY. I was the facilitator of the whole thing, for taking on the doctors, being her caregiver, fighting off the doctor who wanted her in hospice, and finding a new doctor for her, even though at that point it was pretty bleak. She wanted a fight. I had to call at least 5 top hospitals in Boston, and only one doctor would take her, (the oncologist that my mother-in-law had) To top it all off, all three of us got stuck in NY during 9-11. If that wasn't leadership, I wouldn't know it. I couldn't think of anything during that interview, because I was so nervous and desperate to be permanent. (On a side note, my sister George-Ayn's story is on the pancan.org website, under support, then John Hopkins, 2000 to 2001. My sign name was ToninGigi. (I had a blog before blogging was vogue.) I actually have a manuscript written, but it remains unfinished..

    I am the goodist, the caretaker.

    Sorry this rant and rave is long. I had planned on going to the gym today, but I am exhausted.

    Thanks for listening.
  2. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Aces. My advice is "tough love" in that you need to stop paying for your sister's luxuries. Necessities is one thing, but movie tickets, gourmet meals, and fancy clothes are another.

    As for the job, employers are always hiring younger people because they figure they will stay well longer, or know the latest technology. My brother was passed over for a promotion to become head of his accounting department at a big insurance company where he worked for years as second in charge.
    They gave the job to the department head's son and my brother had to train him. It was a rotten deal and turned my brother into a very unhappy man who drank too much. I was similarly badly treated by the same company but left and got another job that made me happier.

    You sure helped your sister with her cancer. You are obviously a very caring person and too much caring ("goodism") is one of the main causes of TMS pain. Try not to knock yourself out helping others.

    If your child wants to complete his confirmation lessons, encourage him. I would encourage him to do so even he is reluctant. We need all the faith in the Lord we can get. Now and always.
    SunnyinFL likes this.
  3. aces0730

    aces0730 Peer Supporter

    Thanks For your kind words, Walt, yes I am a goodist. I am trying to get tough with my sister, but she can be overbearing, she doesn't drive, it's just a pain. If you give her a inch she'll take a yard.

    I want to work for Corning Life Sciences as a perm employee, because it's only 7 miles from my house. Takes me 10 minutes in the morning. The pay is ok, not what I should be making, but it's better than most. I am grateful I am a temp. I would like to finish my MBA, but at this point it would just cost way too much money. My MS Excel skills are advanced, so I was looking at doing either an online master certificate course in Business Inteligence.

    I am in a suburb of Bosto, so going to the city would be a hellish commute. Lol, I am 20 miles away from Boston, but the traffic is horrific.
    SunnyinFL likes this.
  4. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Maybe try slowing down on being so generous to your sister... taper off little by little until you may be free of her needs and wants.
    SunnyinFL likes this.

Share This Page