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My mind keeps finding reasons to question TMS. Advice needed :)

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Misha, Oct 27, 2015.

  1. Misha

    Misha Peer Supporter

    Hi everyone,

    I'm hoping you might be able to allay some concerns I've been having while I try to fully accept my condition is TMS. I'm still all very new to this and trying to wrap my head around it all.

    1) In some TMS books and on the forum I keep coming across people mentioning that their pain 'comes and goes' or changes a lot in severity, or shifts from one place to another and this is how they know it's TMS. My pain (pudendal nerve pelvic pain) doesn't go away, its' pretty much constant except I know stress and sitting make it worse. I keep thinking this lack of fluctuation is a bad sign.

    2) My pelvic pain is entirely left sided. All the other pelvic pain success stories I've read (and most TMS cases?) seem to be more general/both sided issues? I'd love to be able to tell the little voice in my head that keeps saying, "That must mean there's a real nerve problem and not just TMS muscle tension... Why pick one small, specific, unusual spot when others seem to get generalised back/neck pain...." to be quiet but need some ammunition!

    3) On the rare occasions when I'm busy and distracted and I'm less aware of the pain, I'm always brought back to it by a sudden twinge after bending or moving a certain way, which again gives rise to that little voice saying "something must be really wrong...".

    I'm obviously not at the point of being able to accept this as TMS yet on another level I know it is. Any advice would be greatly appreciated :)
  2. David88

    David88 Well known member

    Hi Sara,

    Those are great questions. Let me give it a shot.

    1. TMS pain does often move around, but it doesn't have to. It often starts out as something very specific. The moving around happens more after you've been challenging it for a while. If you start to develop some confidence that it's TMS, your unconscious will try to distract you by changing the symptoms. That's why it's important to stay focused on the psychology and not let the changing symptoms throw you off.

    2. TMS pain can be equally well be on one side or the other, or both. There's no rule about that.

    3. TMS is a psychoSOMATIC condition. It's cause is psychological, but it creates real changes in the body that, though harmless, cause pain. So yes, a certain bend or movement may bring the pain on, but that's TMS for you.

    For example, I've had back spasms many times. In retrospect, they've always been TMS, though I didn't always know it at the time. It's happened so often that now I'm onto it right away. But back spasms are a physical condition. Your muscles lock up and you can't move without pain. It's still TMS.

    Hope that helps.
    Misha likes this.
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Sara,
    I'll second what David said in all the points.

    The doubts are part of the process and it is good to ask others here these questions to work on eliminating the doubts. There are doubts, otherwise you'd have a deep understanding, and you would never have believed the pain was physical to begin with!

    Not really true. Many people have constant or consistent pain.

    Not to worry.

    Most people's pain is associated with a particular movement, body position, etc. This is common, and makes the pain more "believable."

    Hope this helps. Andy B.
    Misha likes this.
  4. Anne Walker

    Anne Walker Beloved Grand Eagle

    I am not sure why we often refer to it as a little voice because the "something must be really wrong..." was a very big and powerful voice with me. I have come to realize that this is a big part of what fuels my TMS - "something must be really wrong...". Its what creates fears, drives me to google, opens the door for doubt and questioning. I still go back to my primary care physician and question him because I think "he knows me so well it would be easy for him to overlook something and just chalk it up to my anxiety(since he's been treating me for 20 years). The only thing that brings me true comfort is the realization that I have been thinking there is something really wrong with me for over 20 years! Surely it would have killed me by now if there was. As far as the pain moving, I think it does that when we have gotten too comfortable with the pain in one place. It moves around to generate more fear and distraction. You are sufficiently distracted with it staying put, in fact, that is creating more fear so why would it move around? Ask your doctor if there is anything you should be afraid of, anything potentially dangerous that needs to be investigated. When they recommended surgery on my neck, I asked them if it would be safe for me to wait six months. They said yes, and then at the end of six months I was not considering surgery anymore. I had enough evidence to know I didn't need it. Keep your evidence sheet. Be determined to let go of the doubt and not allow yourself to go down the "something must be really wrong..." road. It doesn't lead anywhere but to anxiety and pain. I know its not easy, believe me.
    donavanf and Misha like this.

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