Day 18, Question To Ponder: Take a look at your journal entries. What emotions are most prevalent? If you feel comfortable sharing, then post your response in a thread in our Structured Program forum. We would love to hear from you.
In my earlier journal entries, I describe feelings of anger, anxiety or very generic descriptions of “feeling bad” or “feeling good”. I also describe “feeling hurt” and offended. I feel shame and embarrassment. Recently I started describing sorrow, compassion and guilt. These feelings towards others, I have been ignoring. I have been concentrating on myself for a long time, supposedly to better myself and work in my own self interests and belittle others beyond common courtesy and the golden rule of "do unto others...". But it seems these feelings towards others exist in me, subconsciously, and in large quantities. Paradoxically, repressing feelings towards others had worked against my own self interests, as it made me very anxious, perhaps making my mind think that I can’t consciously handle these emotions. It’s not easy to admit I have feelings towards others, and it was perceived as weakness to me. But, I feel that being able to admit the existence of these emotions actually shows strength and fearlessness, being able to stare my emotional reality in the face.