Yes, my life has been one big flare-up. The last 3 years after moving my parents to my city because my Dad had kidney failure have been the worse. My Dad was so mad about loosing control of his life. I was in the direct line of fire because I had to do all the things he used to do. Here I was busting my butt but absolutely no appreciation. I got the silent treatment. I got rolled eyes and deep sighs and forced communication. I would do stuff for my Dad and thinking in my head "Daddy are you happy with me now?" Then I would do more stuff and he hated me even more. Then I had to tell him he couldn't drive anymore. Just thinking about it makes me hurt. He screamed and yelled at me "you have ruined my life forever. Don't you do this to me. My life will be over". Every pain in my body was activated; the acid reflux. I thought I was going to throw-up all the time. The shingles pain throbbed in my back. The bladder pain and pelvic floor stuff was agonizing. Sleeping, forget it.... impossible. At the same time my brother and sister were driving 400 miles to my Mom and Dad's home many times loading up on all their stuff. But wouldn't drive 200 miles to help me or see my parents. Not even ONE phone call. Not ONE. Abandoned again. We were spending $1000, and $1000 and $1000 on my health care because my health insurance is horrible with a preexisting condition. The last 3 years we have spend over $30,000 just on my health care. Add that emotional pressure. And feeling I was not worth it. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? WHY CAN'T I BE WELL? The little girl with the low self-esteem, trying to please them, trying to do everything perfectly, trying to stay in control, being extremely responsible, the caretaker all my life for my parents just curled up into a very painful ball. I have never experienced such despair. But now I know. I have to take care of ME. I have to take time for myself. I am worth it. I can do it. Yes, I can.