My Introduction - Day 1 of the Program - Excited to have started.

[Daniel Kingsbury]

My name is Daniel and I'm 25 years old and a musician from Victoria, Canada.
When I was 20 I had a traumatic episode and spiraled into having anxiety/depression issues.. I think possibly PTSD. About a year later my arms began to hurt. I was suspicious it could be somehow tied to anxiety and when I found out about TMS and began Dr. Schubiner's online program, my pain went away pretty quick (I didn't even finish the program, just the realization that my arms were not really injured did it). The pain stayed away for about a year and a half. Then one day, when I was playing guitar it came back in my right arm. I was scared but also pretty sure it was TMS. Unfortunately I haven't been able to defeat it yet and its spread to both arms and moves around my torso quite a bit.. and that was 2.5 years ago.
It's amazing how convincing the pain can be to make you think that it is a physical problem.. in the last 2 years I have fluctuated a lot between thinking it was emotionally induced, and actually thinking I had tennis elbow etc.. on two different occasions it moved to my left shoulder (my arms felt fine) for about a month. I feel it strongly in either my forearms, triceps, biceps and sometimes just all over and general symptoms.
I've recently discovered the wiki and have decided that I really need to just follow a program and at least take steps in the right direction towards recovery...
Its weird, I've essentially been aware of TMS and knew deep down that its what I have for a LONG time, yet I am so resistant to doing 'the work'.
I definitely fit the TMS personality to a T...
I really want to be free of pain, but I fear that I won't be able to beat it.
The pain is almost always there, and very often it is really bad and I can't focus on anything else.
I'm hoping that in following this program and committing to it, that I'll be able to make some real progress and be able to live an uninhibited life once again..
One day I would like to help others who suffer with pain..
Looking forward to being a part of this online community !

-Daniel

 

[Michael Reinvented]

Welcome Daniel,

Like you, I also want to turn this profound adventure into a positive and help others as my next work direction.
I hope for you a complete recovery, you sound like a good soul.

The structure of the Programme is a big positive, I have found the daily (after 18 of them) practise of consciously working on psychological ways to gradually dissolve the pain/fear "loop", empowering. Sure beats endless months on misguided physical therapies. You are on the best track now.

 

[Forest]

Hey Daniel and Welcome to the Peer Network,

I think a lot of why people are afraid if they will recover when they start out. This isn't because this approach doesn't work, but because of how our society shapes our view of chronic pain and our symptoms. In my Thank You, Dr. Sarno letter I mentioned the time I saw a doctor and he told me I would never be pain free. Personally, this was one of the low points for me.

So many of us have been told similar things, which keep us from believing that we can fully recover. But this is just because we haven't yet treated the true cause of our symptoms. One of the most important things to remember about this approach, is that it is fundamentally different from all other approaches you have tried. You can't let past treatment failures or what other people say keep you from having confidence in yourself, because all of these other treatments did not address the true cause of our symptoms. This approach works, simply because it does address the real cause, repressed emotions.

It is great to hear how confident you are. If you commit to the approach and begin to educate yourself about TMS you will make progress and recover.

 

[Daniel Kingsbury]

Thank-you for the messages Michael and Forest !
I just completed day 3... 1000% confident in the TMS diagnosis as my personality traits fit it to a T. This was reaffirmed in the day 3 article I just read (the one from 1987, the year I was born). Its amazing how long this information has been around for, yet it's still not 'main stream'.
Part of Day 3 asked about physical exercise... I've been lifting weights a little bit for the last few months, I definite improvement from almost 2 years of no weights.. It definitely feels good to be back in shape a bit, but I still have been experiencing fear that I will make the pain worse my working out. Something I need to work on. I just joined the YMCA here in Victoria and I'm gonna go tomorrow morning and hit the bench press
Thanks again for the messages guys, I look forward to continuing !