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My father has minimal pain but back "goes out" badly.

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Joey2276, Apr 18, 2015.

  1. Joey2276

    Joey2276 Peer Supporter

    This and he isnt real tender in the normal places like upper trapezious muscles, etc. I think he may likely have TMS. His back issues dominate his life and thoughts; he is always concerned about it going out and gets up and stretches every 20 minutes; we cant even go to movies anymore and he limits all kinds of activities with like traveling, things like square dancing that he used to enjoy. He has a TMS personality in the sense he is fearful of his back going out and is perfectionistic about this, but not perfectionistic in other ways; definitely a goodist and analyzer big time. He seems to be very in control of his emotions, a stoic.

    He is fairly certain it isnt TMS, that his back going out is structural. (no bad MRI's or anything just from his experience)
    He has had other mind body symptoms over the years (acid reflux as a teen before back began going out), also heart palpitations, non-confrontational diplomatic temperment, much more of a thinker vs feeler. Introverted. I dont see him express emotions in a raw way much; there seems to be a good amount of internal control over what he feels.

    When I bring up TMS with him he doesnt buy it. My questions are these....

    1) If anyone has a similar presentation where back goes out but without much pain (but where you are in bed or severely limited in activity for days after) I'd love to her your story and maybe forward to him.

    2) Do you guys think he has it?

    3) How can I possibly get him to see this?

    It's such a weight on me because he suffers so much from his back stuff. I'm his only son; I hate to see him suffer. He is 66 years old; so he could possibly have a good 20 or 30 years ahead of him; but this back stuff or TMS or whatever it is is the bane of his existence. It depressed him more than he realizes (I think) I hate to see him suffer with this; but as of now he rejects the TMS model as it applies to himself.
    Markus likes this.
  2. Markus

    Markus Guest

    I hope I'm replying properly/in the correct place. Well, I mean I had heart palpitations as did my Mom,I overcame them. I have reflux issues,my back "goes out" but I have pain. I wish I knew the secret to getting a father to listen to a son.......I'd pass it on to you lol! But, I'd say yes......
    Joey2276 likes this.
  3. Markus

    Markus Guest

    Only my reply? Come on folks!
    Joey2276 likes this.
  4. Joey2276

    Joey2276 Peer Supporter

    Yeah what Mark said
    ; really if anyone has advice or experience with this please share thx!!
    Markus likes this.
  5. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Joey, yep, your father's pains are most likely from TMS.
    It's not easy for a son to teach his father anything because they want it to be the other way around.

    Try to inform your father about TMS but easy does it or he could be really turned off.

    Maybe even lay off on it for a while. Try to learn what psychological reasons he has for his back pain.
    jazzhands and Joey2276 like this.
  6. Joey2276

    Joey2276 Peer Supporter

    Hey Walt; thanks for the reply; yeah I am backing off; I told him what I think and that is all I can do; it was very difficult for me to go there with him as he is my father and that is sort of not normal; he is sure it is structural; I may bring it up again in the future; also I think if his back gets to the point where his life is even more restricted he may be more open to going for broke and be more open to TMS.

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