Day 3 My Evidence Sheet

[Kiara]

I watched the video about "Accepting the Diagnosis" again, and I wanted to share this list of evidence to help me internalise the fact that my pain is not structural!

· I’ve had many exceptions – often I can sit or use a computer with little pain, or stay in the same position while spending time with a friend

· My pain often has no apparent reason or cause – sometimes even when I go to the gym and stretch regularly the pain is there, but when I don’t go to the gym and don’t stretch regularly I don’t have much pain

· When I went on a holiday to Newcastle last summer I had very little pain, even though I took a 7 hour train trip and could not go to the gym the whole time, plus I even went horse riding!

· My X-ray for my back came up normal, my blood tests have been fine

· My GP suggested the pain may be a result of stress or depression

· One of my parents suggested the pain may be caused by anxiety

· The pain moves to different parts of my body, does not always follow a rational pattern

· I feel more back and nerve pain when I am stressed or anxious, and I can see a direct connection

· I recognise myself in the descriptions by Dr Sarno – I do have perfectionist and goodist tendencies, and emotional issues/problems

· There is evidence of repressed rage in my life in various situations, which has been destructive

· The explanation from my specialist didn’t make sense to me, because plenty of other people have weak abs and are unfit, but they don’t have chronic pain – so why would strengthening my core automatically make me better?

· I had a very stressful experience just before getting the nerve pain, including my art exhibition then going back to uni while having back pain, and feeling desperate and not knowing whether to continue study

· Also I felt disrespected and treated badly by the osteopath, and I think that caused some anger and fear

 

[Kiara]

Also, in response to the question about exercise on Day 3, I did decide to listen to some empowering music and use my housemate's punching bag. It was a fun experience, although I haven't done it much before so I'll need to build up my stamina. I realised this is a great way to release tension!

However, I haven't gone to the gym in quite a while… not so much because of pain, but due to my feelings of fatigue for the last three weeks. Since taking time off work I'm starting to recover, so I will probably go to the gym and do a short workout today or tomorrow.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Laudisco. Your postings are so interesting. I agree with your parents and GP that your pain is from stress, depression, and/or anxiety. You felt no pain when on vacation when you were probably enjoying yourself so you didn't think about any pain.

You don't mention dealing with repressed emotions, but that's probably where the pain comes from, as
Dr. Sarno says. Keep working in the SEP and journaling. Discovering your repressed emotions will lead you to healing. Look into and journal about that repressed rage you mentioned.

Do go to the gym, but be easy on yourself. Don't expect to perform as you did. You will reach that level again,
but meanwhile, don't over do it.

 

[Kiara]

Thanks for the encouragement Walt! You are very helpful.

I think the most challenging thing for me at the moment is considering coming off the pain medication, as it's hard to discern my real pain levels while on the meds. But I'm just going to take things slowly, as I know I can get overly anxious when thinking about stopping the medication (the one I'm most concerned about is Lyrica, because people typically have side effects/withdrawals when weaning off it).

In some ways stopping the medication is more intimidating than the pain, because when I first started taking it, I found it affected my mood dramatically and I had a lot of side effects. However, one of the things I am learning through my reading about TMS is not to worry about the future, but to take one day at a time. I would like to learn more about mindfulness and Christian meditation as I think those techniques will help me with this!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Laudisco. Dr. Sarno writes that we should get off of medication,
but do it gradually and ask your doctor how to stop using Lyrica so you don't have withdrawal effects.

I find Christian meditation very helpful. Do some goggling to find web sites on that.
I'll take a look now and see if I can recommend some.

try this for starters: goggle for The World Community for Christian Meditation.

 

[Kiara]

Thanks for passing that on to me! I actually have a book about Christian meditation so I want to continue exploring that further. I have also been reading about various forms of contemplative prayer, Scripture meditation (lectio divina) and similar practices.

Yeah, getting off medication is the most scary thing for me. I will definitely have to pray about it and talk to my doctor first. I think I got unreasonably anxious because I Googled it (a very bad idea!!) which put negative ideas into my mind - such as people feeling depressed for months, and that kind of thing.

However, I have read some very encouraging stories of people who have given up drugs or medication, and prayer has made a huge difference in reducing (or even eliminating) the withdrawal effects. I really need to trust God about this and not get caught up in a negative/fearful mindset.

I know that I am highly TMS-prone because even before I started taking Lyrica, I read the sheet given to me by the pharmacist and I got extremely nauseous just reading about the side effects!! It took about two hours for the nausea to subside. I had the same problem when I looked it up on the internet.

I got particularly disturbed at the big warning about people being suicidal when taking Lyrica (on the official Lyrica website). I had never been on much prescription medication before, and I wasn't sure how seriously I should take that warning. I got quite frightened!!

However, now I know that it's actually a fairly common warning on prescription drugs and most likely a way for companies to cover themselves in case they get sued.