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My dad has TMS

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Stevielawrence, Dec 17, 2020.

  1. Stevielawrence

    Stevielawrence Peer Supporter

    Just wanted to share something that I find so interesting, albeit tragic, in terms of the TMS world (and also my family.)

    My dad has been having severe back pain off and on for the past couple years. He has already had two surgeries and is scheduled for a third and keeps going to the hospital for cortisone shots and the like.

    last year I sent him healing back pain and told him to at least give it a read. He promptly dismissed it and me and said - no I’ve seen the X-rays this is real. (He has some degeneration and herniations that he believes are compressing a nerve.) I didn’t say anything further, because he’s never been a teachable man. He has had Rheumatoid Arthritis since he was 20, a very severe form, and he thinks everything is connected to this. (I remember Sarno writing that RA isn’t fully TMS but is exasperated by it, and I think this absolutely happened with my dads form of it.)

    he is a very difficult, stubborn, often angry man, highly successful, a bit of a narcissist, driven, critical, extremely hard on himself and others, never really lets himself relax, never turns off the news, never dealt with his childhood issues or really any of his life experiences and choices, thinks therapy makes you a “victim” etc. (you can imagine his effect on me my whole life...) the irony is that his lifelong pain has made him a “victim” and given him a lot of justification to be supremely difficult and narrow minded. Which I do empathize with to a degree, having had chronic pain myself, but still. He’s just not aware of himself ....

    Anyway, it’s so clear to me his back pain is TMS and that he’d be helped even a little by doing some mindbody work, but I doubt he will. Makes me sad. And of course everyone else in the family thinks the mindbody stuff is woo woo.

    I don’t feel like trying to convince him or anyone else - especially because their reactions are so scary, but I guess I’m wondering if others here have watched family members suffer TMS, too?
  2. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes, I have family and friends who obviously have TMS, but aren't open to the concept. They've seen my recovery, but assume they are different. I've stopped recommending TMS books and treatment, because I'm tired of the reactions I get. I gave information and resources to my primary care doctor, and he said something patronizing like "I'm sure you believe it really worked."

    I think people will find the treatment when they're ready. I did.
    Stevielawrence likes this.
  3. mbo

    mbo Well known member

    seeing TMS symptoms in beloved relatives .... so reluctant to the message of hope from dr. Sarno is actually devastating.
    But.... when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.
    Stevielawrence likes this.

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