The pain has always moved sometimes it's there sometimes not - which is so strange. Not only that but the feelings in my body are related to emotions: wanting to give up feelings of despondency etc. And how does this make me feel about the TMS diagnoses - well it does make sense that what I have is TMS - depression can I think be experienced as physical pain. But there is making sense and there is really knowing in your knower!
Last night for example I felt no issues really at all with my feet ( my big TMS issue) I think the alcohol I drank temporarily suppressed my depression - but this is not a good long term solution. Yesterday when I was experiencing extreme physical pain raising my mood by looking at porn - it helped. The porn was a kind of balm to my aching body. My brain was able to alleviate to a degree my physical pain. I do have moral issues about looking at porn both religious and in terms of the way it makes me view women. But it did work - though I don't think it is a long term solution : - ).
So the conclusion of what I really think - well apart from the issues I have regarding not trusting my own thinking and conclusions - an issue in itself. I think there is without doubt an emotional element to my suffering - is this all it is? I think the whole thing (the TMS diagnoses) is worth pursuing. Though it is not sensible to try to put my arm up my back so to speak - to try to pressure myself into believing TMS - this won't work. But putting some faith in the TMS diagnoses by looking to the psychological dimension of my life is a good idea and I will be persuaded by what is real to me what I see.
A prayer - open my eyes Oh Lord to the truth where ever it lies - the truth will set me free.
Last night for example I felt no issues really at all with my feet ( my big TMS issue) I think the alcohol I drank temporarily suppressed my depression - but this is not a good long term solution. Yesterday when I was experiencing extreme physical pain raising my mood by looking at porn - it helped. The porn was a kind of balm to my aching body. My brain was able to alleviate to a degree my physical pain. I do have moral issues about looking at porn both religious and in terms of the way it makes me view women. But it did work - though I don't think it is a long term solution : - ).
So the conclusion of what I really think - well apart from the issues I have regarding not trusting my own thinking and conclusions - an issue in itself. I think there is without doubt an emotional element to my suffering - is this all it is? I think the whole thing (the TMS diagnoses) is worth pursuing. Though it is not sensible to try to put my arm up my back so to speak - to try to pressure myself into believing TMS - this won't work. But putting some faith in the TMS diagnoses by looking to the psychological dimension of my life is a good idea and I will be persuaded by what is real to me what I see.
A prayer - open my eyes Oh Lord to the truth where ever it lies - the truth will set me free.
