Day 10 My alcoholic father gave me a bittersweet childhood. Now I really understand him.

[Mitocondria]

I recently talked to my mother about my father's childhood. Apparently, his father hit him, the priests at school too, and he received no affection or love.

Now we must begin to understand how our inner child works, I understand that as the years go by he will start to drink.

I didn't drink to make our existence miserable. She did it to escape his own demons. That hard, sad childhood with a repressed and unimaginable amount of rage.

We blamed him, and I didn't understand anything. He was too young and that role was not for me.

Now I am the one who suffers from anxiety because of having repressed my feelings for so many years and ignoring my unconscious.

Being a good guy has many consequences.

This exercise has helped me understand and forgive. In fact, I'm considering sending him an actual letter.

Surely when he read it, he will spend four days crying because is very sensitive. But I have never been able to express my feelings towards him, and I think that the fact that he understands that I understand him, can free him.

If anyone reads this, I hope you understand. English is not my native language.

Take care

 

[Diana-M]

Beautiful story! This is true healing!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

This exercise has helped me understand and forgive.

Forgiveness is a tricky thing to navigate, @Mitocondria, but I think you have done a really good job with it.

My understanding of Forgiveness is that you do not need to forgive the behavior, because the behavior is unforgivable. However, as you have clearly stated, it is possible to understand and to forgive the person, who was not able to overcome their own pain and suffering.

You are doing great work!

 

[Mitocondria]

Thanks. This is a good point

 

[Ruth65]

I recently talked to my mother about my father's childhood. Apparently, his father hit him, the priests at school too, and he received no affection or love.

Now we must begin to understand how our inner child works, I understand that as the years go by he will start to drink.

I didn't drink to make our existence miserable. She did it to escape his own demons. That hard, sad childhood with a repressed and unimaginable amount of rage.

We blamed him, and I didn't understand anything. He was too young and that role was not for me.

Now I am the one who suffers from anxiety because of having repressed my feelings for so many years and ignoring my unconscious.

Being a good guy has many consequences.

This exercise has helped me understand and forgive. In fact, I'm considering sending him an actual letter.

Surely when he read it, he will spend four days crying because is very sensitive. But I have never been able to express my feelings towards him, and I think that the fact that he understands that I understand him, can free him.

If anyone reads this, I hope you understand. English is not my native language.

Take care

Thank you for sharing! Sometimes, the hardest things we can do as adults is to really see our parents as people, individuals in their own right. Only then will we begin to understand that they were dealing with their own demons just as we are now dealing with ours. It's a vicious cycle, but it sounds like you are on the right path to breaking it!

 

[Mitocondria]

Thank you for sharing! Sometimes, the hardest things we can do as adults is to really see our parents as people, individuals in their own right. Only then will we begin to understand that they were dealing with their own demons just as we are now dealing with ours. It's a vicious cycle, but it sounds like you are on the right path to breaking it!

Yes! It’s hard and sooo slooooow…

But if we want different results, we have to do and think different things. But it is no longer optional,

I need to live life and not suffer it.

I imagine you are in the same situation and I wish you the best. Thank you for your nice comment