mrti10
New Member
Hello,
I am on Day 25 of the Structured Educational Program for TMS. I am self diagnosed, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to go through the program. I am a 42 year old male, and I have had a long history of strange and mysterious aches, pains, and discomforts which have ranged from merely annoying to debilitating to downright terrifying. These events have been mostly chronic, but also acute in some instances lasting only a few hours to days. They have also occurred over what has probably been a 35 year span, having increased in frequency and severity in the last 5 to 8 years. I have been an athlete for most of my life. I play soccer, run, lift weights, and practice yoga. I am also a musician. I play guitar and sing. For many of my pain issues I was given diagnoses of acute or overuse injury from the myriad of doctors and specialists I consulted over the years. Mostly though, I seemed to confound the doctors as to why I was having pain. Almost every time tests were run there was no obvious anomaly that could be attributed to the pain. As I have always been active, I believed for many years that perhaps I had simply worn my body down. Here is a brief rundown of some of my many issues over the years that have either dissipated, vanished suddenly, or continue to persist.
- Medial lower leg pain: Prevented me from running for a good 5 years or so. Then slowly dissipated.
- Sharp pain in lower right psoas muscle: Caused major pain when kicking a ball or sprinting for over a year then disappeared literally over night.
- Plantar Fasciitis: Sudden onset for no discernible reason. Was intensely painful for a few months. Had surgery on both feet and slowly over the following year became mostly pain free. Have had a recurrence of pain in my feet a few times for a few days in the 17 years since the surgery.
- Sitting pain: Best described as Cyclist’s syndrome until I learned of TMS. Sudden onset after a long bike ride 6 years ago. Has caused burning pain when sitting ever since.
- Dizziness: Gradual onset of this issue over a month long period. Feels like I am rocking forward and backward. It is worse upon waking from sleep. It is constant not episodic like BPPV or other vertigos. Has been present for 7 years at various intensities. Was diagnosed with an underfiring right lower cerebellum, but was never given a reason as to how it occurred.
- Periodic muscle spasms: They will occur often with no obvious cause. They occur mostly in the back or the legs.
- Depression: For much of my twenties I was depressed. I do feel as though depression can be a normal reaction to the level of suckiness in one's life, and at that time the level in mine was off the charts. Toward the end of my 20's, my frequent bouts of depression seemed to subside. Since my twenties, however, I have noticed that the incidences of pain and discomfort I have experienced have increased.
There are of course many other issues that have come and gone and are currently present. I realized recently that at some point about 4 years ago I had purchased the audiobook version of Dr. Sarno’s, “The Divided Mind”. I can’t remember how I heard of it. Earlier this year I got a concussion playing soccer and in the months following started having symptoms that I began to attribute to the concussion. Some were classically post concussive like amnesia and mildly slurred speech, while the most frightening were not typical at all. They consisted of numbness, tingling, burning, stabbing, and shooting pain in the hands, feet, legs, arms, back, and after some time almost everywhere. I also, had major fatigue issues, as well and what distinctly felt like blood flow problems. Basic activities like climbing stairs and simply walking had become difficult. I read much about the post concussive syndrome symptoms and consulted with and was treated by a neurologist, a chiropractic neurologist, and a chiropractor. As I know the main treatment for neuropathic symptoms like the ones I was having is medications or nerve surgeries, I avoided Gen. Practitioners. The specialists I did see offered many theories, but didn’t feel the concussion was really responsible for those symptoms. After much research I came across a malady I’d not heard of before called “chronic altitude sickness”. I had been living in Denver for four years after living in Florida most of my life. The symptoms fit, blood work didn’t fully support it, but I was determined to attribute my pain and discomfort to something logical even if it was a stretch. I was already planning to move out of the state as life had not gone well for me there in those 4 years, and so I sped up the process and by June of this year I had moved to Ontario, Canada. Some of my issues improved within a few weeks of my move, but many persisted. In search of more clarity I listened to the Sarno audiobook again and within 15 minutes of listening, I wondered how I could not have seen how much this applied to me the first time I’d listened to it 4 years prior. I have since started the program as I mentioned and plan to see a psychotherapist. In my time on the program I have come to many eye opening realizations about myself, my mental habits, my psyche, and my past. I realize now that I have had mental and emotional issues which most likely stem from a combination of:
- Developmental hindrances in early childhood.
- All kinds of emotional repression throughout my teen and adult years.
- A mostly unrewarding, dissatisfying, and unfulfilling adulthood.
As I’ve begun my serious introspection, I’ve uncovered memories I’d forgotten or underappreciated for their importance psychologically. I’ve also seen how many times I’d sort of been clued in to what has really been going on in my head on so many, many, many, many, many occasions. It’s almost kind of funny. I even recall very distinctly the following:
During a most painful breakup with my ex girlfriend 11 years ago, I went through the most intense and trying emotional pain I’d ever experienced. I went sleepless for days, lost weight, started having panic attacks, had constant breakdowns in front of friends, family, and strangers. (Sorry yoga instructor, and guy at Target!) So yes, during this period I actually recall thinking to myself and then saying aloud to other humans, “I hate going through this. I think I would rather have a painful injury or something. I could deal with that way easier than this.” I actually said that.
Anyway…..
I have seen a reduction in certain symptoms since starting the program. I have even caught my symptoms moving around on me! I have been constantly rotating the 3 audiobooks from Dr. Sarno that I purchased. Finally, I have found an explanation for all of the previously unexplained issues I have had all my life. TMS is in fact, the only thing that provides a reasonable explanation for ALL OF THEM! So while I am new to the idea of TMS and to the program, I know that I will eventually be pain free. Because I have uncovered so many issues and potential sources of tension in my past and present I will soon be seeking an ISDTP therapist to aid me in my progress.
Thanks for reading.
MC
I am on Day 25 of the Structured Educational Program for TMS. I am self diagnosed, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to go through the program. I am a 42 year old male, and I have had a long history of strange and mysterious aches, pains, and discomforts which have ranged from merely annoying to debilitating to downright terrifying. These events have been mostly chronic, but also acute in some instances lasting only a few hours to days. They have also occurred over what has probably been a 35 year span, having increased in frequency and severity in the last 5 to 8 years. I have been an athlete for most of my life. I play soccer, run, lift weights, and practice yoga. I am also a musician. I play guitar and sing. For many of my pain issues I was given diagnoses of acute or overuse injury from the myriad of doctors and specialists I consulted over the years. Mostly though, I seemed to confound the doctors as to why I was having pain. Almost every time tests were run there was no obvious anomaly that could be attributed to the pain. As I have always been active, I believed for many years that perhaps I had simply worn my body down. Here is a brief rundown of some of my many issues over the years that have either dissipated, vanished suddenly, or continue to persist.
- Medial lower leg pain: Prevented me from running for a good 5 years or so. Then slowly dissipated.
- Sharp pain in lower right psoas muscle: Caused major pain when kicking a ball or sprinting for over a year then disappeared literally over night.
- Plantar Fasciitis: Sudden onset for no discernible reason. Was intensely painful for a few months. Had surgery on both feet and slowly over the following year became mostly pain free. Have had a recurrence of pain in my feet a few times for a few days in the 17 years since the surgery.
- Sitting pain: Best described as Cyclist’s syndrome until I learned of TMS. Sudden onset after a long bike ride 6 years ago. Has caused burning pain when sitting ever since.
- Dizziness: Gradual onset of this issue over a month long period. Feels like I am rocking forward and backward. It is worse upon waking from sleep. It is constant not episodic like BPPV or other vertigos. Has been present for 7 years at various intensities. Was diagnosed with an underfiring right lower cerebellum, but was never given a reason as to how it occurred.
- Periodic muscle spasms: They will occur often with no obvious cause. They occur mostly in the back or the legs.
- Depression: For much of my twenties I was depressed. I do feel as though depression can be a normal reaction to the level of suckiness in one's life, and at that time the level in mine was off the charts. Toward the end of my 20's, my frequent bouts of depression seemed to subside. Since my twenties, however, I have noticed that the incidences of pain and discomfort I have experienced have increased.
There are of course many other issues that have come and gone and are currently present. I realized recently that at some point about 4 years ago I had purchased the audiobook version of Dr. Sarno’s, “The Divided Mind”. I can’t remember how I heard of it. Earlier this year I got a concussion playing soccer and in the months following started having symptoms that I began to attribute to the concussion. Some were classically post concussive like amnesia and mildly slurred speech, while the most frightening were not typical at all. They consisted of numbness, tingling, burning, stabbing, and shooting pain in the hands, feet, legs, arms, back, and after some time almost everywhere. I also, had major fatigue issues, as well and what distinctly felt like blood flow problems. Basic activities like climbing stairs and simply walking had become difficult. I read much about the post concussive syndrome symptoms and consulted with and was treated by a neurologist, a chiropractic neurologist, and a chiropractor. As I know the main treatment for neuropathic symptoms like the ones I was having is medications or nerve surgeries, I avoided Gen. Practitioners. The specialists I did see offered many theories, but didn’t feel the concussion was really responsible for those symptoms. After much research I came across a malady I’d not heard of before called “chronic altitude sickness”. I had been living in Denver for four years after living in Florida most of my life. The symptoms fit, blood work didn’t fully support it, but I was determined to attribute my pain and discomfort to something logical even if it was a stretch. I was already planning to move out of the state as life had not gone well for me there in those 4 years, and so I sped up the process and by June of this year I had moved to Ontario, Canada. Some of my issues improved within a few weeks of my move, but many persisted. In search of more clarity I listened to the Sarno audiobook again and within 15 minutes of listening, I wondered how I could not have seen how much this applied to me the first time I’d listened to it 4 years prior. I have since started the program as I mentioned and plan to see a psychotherapist. In my time on the program I have come to many eye opening realizations about myself, my mental habits, my psyche, and my past. I realize now that I have had mental and emotional issues which most likely stem from a combination of:
- Developmental hindrances in early childhood.
- All kinds of emotional repression throughout my teen and adult years.
- A mostly unrewarding, dissatisfying, and unfulfilling adulthood.
As I’ve begun my serious introspection, I’ve uncovered memories I’d forgotten or underappreciated for their importance psychologically. I’ve also seen how many times I’d sort of been clued in to what has really been going on in my head on so many, many, many, many, many occasions. It’s almost kind of funny. I even recall very distinctly the following:
During a most painful breakup with my ex girlfriend 11 years ago, I went through the most intense and trying emotional pain I’d ever experienced. I went sleepless for days, lost weight, started having panic attacks, had constant breakdowns in front of friends, family, and strangers. (Sorry yoga instructor, and guy at Target!) So yes, during this period I actually recall thinking to myself and then saying aloud to other humans, “I hate going through this. I think I would rather have a painful injury or something. I could deal with that way easier than this.” I actually said that.
Anyway…..
I have seen a reduction in certain symptoms since starting the program. I have even caught my symptoms moving around on me! I have been constantly rotating the 3 audiobooks from Dr. Sarno that I purchased. Finally, I have found an explanation for all of the previously unexplained issues I have had all my life. TMS is in fact, the only thing that provides a reasonable explanation for ALL OF THEM! So while I am new to the idea of TMS and to the program, I know that I will eventually be pain free. Because I have uncovered so many issues and potential sources of tension in my past and present I will soon be seeking an ISDTP therapist to aid me in my progress.
Thanks for reading.
MC
