muscle weakness caused by years of inactivity?

@nowa, I think what you're failing to recognize is that your primitive brain is always 100% committed to your survival, which means keeping you immobilized with fear. It doesn't matter if you're in pain, because it knows that the pain is harmless, and that it's much safer to distract you with pain than to let you experience the danger associated with acknowledging your emotions. This is completely irrational, but of course no one ever said that our primitive brains were rational!

As long as you let your brain convince you of the need to be fearful, that's where you will remain.

When you're in this situation, what Nicole Sachs says makes a lot of sense: life is a choice between what hurts, and what hurts worse.

I recently suggested that you take a break. Seriously. You are floundering right now, you're all over the place, asking new questions, and veering, I'm afraid to say, towards classic "reassurance-seeking" behavior, which is what the chronically stuck do. Today you appear to be seeking reassurance that your negative assessment is correct. I know that there is a part of you that does not want to treat yourself this way, but that little force for positive action is constantly being overwhelmed by your much stronger negative fearful brain.

I know you haven't been doing this very long, and I surely know that there is a LOT of seemingly conflicting and contradictory, never mind overwhelming, information to absorb and sort through in addition to uncovering the repressed emotions. After 77 years, there is a LOT of different mental and physical conditioning going on in your brain, as well as a LOT of personal shit for you to acknowledge. Add to that, you have to overcome decades of compassion, care and love that you have never given yourself, and I believe that's the real key.

I realized a long time ago that you can't expect to recover from TMS or, for that matter, any illness, injury, or condition, unless you know in your heart that you deserve to heal.

Perhaps the best advice I can give you right now is to shut down your computer and phone, get off this site, and go find a personal trainer or an exercise class that is just for seniors. I don't care what might or might not be wrong with you, whether it's all TMS or not - exercise can ONLY help, THAT is guaranteed, and you KNOW it. It's also proof that you are able to take a positive step towards self-care. Your fearful brain will come up with all kinds of excuses why you can't do this. You have to stand up to it and politely thank it for trying to protect you, but that you know better. You also have to stop beating yourself up for what you haven't done, give yourself credit for what you're doing now, and just go out and do it.

~Jan